Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,211 thumbs up)
  • Category: Tourists/Travel

    You Say Barokee, I Say You Need To Pee

    | Sardis, BC, Canada | Health & Body, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a convenience store on the way to a lake (popular with tourists), and the till faces the front door. Currently, two women are in line, the first of which is paying with her debit card. Her back is to the door, and her head is down. Suddenly, a man comes bursting through the door yelling. Both women are incredibly startled.)

    Man: “BAAARRRROKEE!”

    Woman #1: “Oh my God!” *bolts upright*

    (Woman #2 starts laughing hysterically, while Woman #1 has stopped in the middle of entering her pin to stare.)

    Man: “BAAAAAA. ROOOOOO. KEEEEEEE. BAROOKEE. BAROOKE!”

    Me: “Bathroom key?”

    Man: “Yeah! Barookee!”

    (He runs off in the direction of the bathroom, arms literally flailing.)

    Woman #2: “How did you know what the heck he was saying?”

    Me: *deadpan* “I speak tourist.”

    Wherever You Go, There US Are

    | Ireland | Geography, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a tour guide at a 15th century Irish castle. I am covering the desk when two tourists come through to exit.)

    Me: “Thank you for visiting. Did you enjoy your tour?”

    Tourist #1: “NO!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. May I ask why?”

    Tourist #1: “That tour guide talked funny.”

    Tourist #2: “Yeah, she had a funny accent.”

    Me: “You mean Irish?”

    Tourist #1: “Yeah, we didn’t understand a word she said.”

    Tourist #2: You shouldn’t have guides we can’t understand!”

    Me: “I’m sorry but this is Ireland.”

    Tourist #1:You don’t have an Irish accent!”

    Me: “I’m not from here, though.”

    (At this point, another tourist who has been waiting to be served speaks up.)

    Another Tourist: “Sorry, ladies, but you’re in Ireland in an Irish castle. What were you expecting?”

    Tourists #1 and #2: “Americans!”

    Please Pound Into Her Head We Don’t Use Dollars

    | UK | Money, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (A tourist in front of me just ordered a coffee.)

    Cashier: “That will be £6.10, please.”

    Tourist: *hands him two USD $5 bills*

    Cashier: “We only accept English sterling.”

    Tourist: “So, you don’t take dollar bills?”

    Cashier: “No, only English sterling.”

    Tourist: *to her husband* “I can’t believe it! They only accept English sterling!”

    Another Customer: “Well, it’s ENGLAND!”

    Hello, Abbie Simpson

    | Jacksonville, FL, USA | Military, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (A passenger comes through my security checkpoint at the airport. She is the most scatterbrained individual I have ever seen, and has had to go through the metal detector three times: once for her belt, another time for her hairclips, and finally, for her dog tags.)

    Passenger: “Geez, I’m sorry, you know? I don’t mean to be so brain dead.”

    Me: “It’s fine, ma’am.”

    (I hand the passenger her dogtags and sees she’s in the Navy.)

    Me: “Oh, my brother is in the Navy. What do you do?”

    Passenger: *laughs sheepishly* “You’ll love this. I work on a nuclear reactor.”

    O, Canaduh, Part 2

    | Niagara Falls, NY, USA | Money, Tourists/Travel

    (This story takes place at a mall about five minutes from the USA/Canada border. Today, I am working at the register. A Canadian customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Ugh! I hate this country!”

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [store]. May I ask why?”

    Customer: “It’s so hard to tell the value of your money. You should color code it like we do in Canada!”

    Me: “Well, if you look on all four corners on either side of the bill, the numbers you see denote the dollar value of the bill. You can also look at the bottom of either side of the bill, or to the right side of the face on the bill.”

    Customer: “Ugh, why do you Americans have to make everything so difficult?!”

    Related:
    O, Canaduh

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