Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (2,089 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Tourists/Travel

    Hello, Abbie Simpson

    | Jacksonville, FL, USA | Military, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (A passenger comes through my security checkpoint at the airport. She is the most scatterbrained individual I have ever seen, and has had to go through the metal detector three times: once for her belt, another time for her hairclips, and finally, for her dog tags.)

    Passenger: “Geez, I’m sorry, you know? I don’t mean to be so brain dead.”

    Me: “It’s fine, ma’am.”

    (I hand the passenger her dogtags and sees she’s in the Navy.)

    Me: “Oh, my brother is in the Navy. What do you do?”

    Passenger: *laughs sheepishly* “You’ll love this. I work on a nuclear reactor.”

    O, Canaduh, Part 2

    | Niagara Falls, NY, USA | Money, Tourists/Travel

    (This story takes place at a mall about five minutes from the USA/Canada border. Today, I am working at the register. A Canadian customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Ugh! I hate this country!”

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [store]. May I ask why?”

    Customer: “It’s so hard to tell the value of your money. You should color code it like we do in Canada!”

    Me: “Well, if you look on all four corners on either side of the bill, the numbers you see denote the dollar value of the bill. You can also look at the bottom of either side of the bill, or to the right side of the face on the bill.”

    Customer: “Ugh, why do you Americans have to make everything so difficult?!”

    Related:
    O, Canaduh

    How About We Show You The Door

    | England, UK | Hotels & Lodging, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I overhear this as I’m checking in to a hotel in England.)

    Guest: *with an American accent* “You chauvinistic pig! I can open doors by myself, you know!”

    Employee: “Madam, I’m the doorman…”

    A-moooo-sing Customers, Part 2

    | France | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (We’re located in a small village in a rural area, but each year, we have plenty of foreign tourists. I’m the only person fluent in english at the office. One day, a family of tourists (a father, a mother and their teenage son and daughter) walk in.)

    Father: *in French* “Hello, sir. Can you help me to find how to go to a few places? I can’t find them on my map.”

    Me: *in French* “Sure, let me show you. May I see your map?”

    (As I show the father directions on his map, I see the kids giggling and chatting in English in the back. They’re making fun of my coworker.)

    Daughter: *in English* “God, this guy looks so stupid!”

    Son: *in English* “Totally! Look at his eyes! It totally looks like a cow’s eyes!”

    Daughter: *in English* “And look at his hair! Soooo dorky!”

    (The father says nothing, despite clearly hearing them.)

    Father: *in French* “Alright, I think I got it. Thank you for your time.”

    Me: “Mooooooooooooooo!”

    Father: *in French* “What are you doing?!”

    Me: *grinning, in English* “That’s the cow word for ‘Have a nice day.’”

    (The parents and their two children stay stunned for a second. Then, both parents start to laugh and the kids turn cherry red.)

    Mother: *laughing, in English* “Weren’t expecting that now, you two?”

    (Embarrassed, the kids try to leave, but the parents grab them both by their shoulders.)

    Son: *in English* “Let me go, Dad!”

    Father: *still laughing, in English* “We’re not leaving until both of you apologize to this man!”

    (The parents refused to move or let them go until I received an apology from both kids. The whole family left, the parents still joking and the kids almost running away.)

    Related:
    A-moooo-sing Customers

    Conspiracy Weary, Part 2

    | Niagara on the Lake, ON, Canada | History, Tourists/Travel

    (The town of Niagara on the Lake is celebrating the 200th anniversary of the war of 1812 and we occasionally get tourists asking about it. This tourist has been nice and friendly up to this point.)

    Me: “Here’s your change. Have a nice day!”

    Tourist: “I have a question. What’s all this 1812 stuff about?”

    Me: “Well, 200 years ago, the United States went to war with the British in what is now Canada. Neith—”

    Tourist: “THAT NEVER HAPPENED! THAT’S A LIE!” *stomps out of the store*

    Me: *stunned*

    Related:
    Conspiracy Weary

    Page 29/46First...2728293031...Last