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    Category: Tourists/Travel

    Time To Start Screening The Tourists

    | Utah, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Tourists/Travel

    (Every year, my town hosts Sundance, which tends to bring some strange people along with it. I am the only one working in a very small paint store, right before close. A customer comes in and proceeds to look around the store for about 15 minutes.)

    Me: “I am sorry, sir. We are getting ready to close. Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “I am looking for stuff to make a pipe.”

    Me: “Well, sir, we do have some stuff to fix plumbing pipes.”

    Customer: “No! I need to make a pipe to smoke out of.”

    Me: “Uh, we really don’t have anything like that.”

    Customer: “What the h*** kind of hardware store is this?!”

    Me: “…A paint store?”

    Customer: “Oh… then, can I buy some spray paint to get high on?”

    Me: “No, sir. That is illegal.”

    Customer: “Even during Sundance?”

    Me: “Especially during Sundance!”

    Customer: “Buzzkill!” *walks out*

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 6

    | Canada | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

    Guest: “Excuse me?”

    Ride Operator: “Yes, sir?”

    Guest: “Where’s the VIP line of this ride?”

    Ride Operator: *confused* “VIP line for what, sir?”

    Guest: “For us, the Americans. Where’s the VIP line for the Americans?”

    Ride Operator: “We don’t have a VIP line sir for Americans… or anyone.”

    Guest: *huffs* “Well, you should!”

    Related:
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 5
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
    Canada: America’s Hat

    You Say Barokee, I Say You Need To Pee

    | Sardis, BC, Canada | Health & Body, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a convenience store on the way to a lake (popular with tourists), and the till faces the front door. Currently, two women are in line, the first of which is paying with her debit card. Her back is to the door, and her head is down. Suddenly, a man comes bursting through the door yelling. Both women are incredibly startled.)

    Man: “BAAARRRROKEE!”

    Woman #1: “Oh my God!” *bolts upright*

    (Woman #2 starts laughing hysterically, while Woman #1 has stopped in the middle of entering her pin to stare.)

    Man: “BAAAAAA. ROOOOOO. KEEEEEEE. BAROOKEE. BAROOKE!”

    Me: “Bathroom key?”

    Man: “Yeah! Barookee!”

    (He runs off in the direction of the bathroom, arms literally flailing.)

    Woman #2: “How did you know what the heck he was saying?”

    Me: *deadpan* “I speak tourist.”

    Wherever You Go, There US Are

    | Ireland | Geography, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a tour guide at a 15th century Irish castle. I am covering the desk when two tourists come through to exit.)

    Me: “Thank you for visiting. Did you enjoy your tour?”

    Tourist #1: “NO!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. May I ask why?”

    Tourist #1: “That tour guide talked funny.”

    Tourist #2: “Yeah, she had a funny accent.”

    Me: “You mean Irish?”

    Tourist #1: “Yeah, we didn’t understand a word she said.”

    Tourist #2: You shouldn’t have guides we can’t understand!”

    Me: “I’m sorry but this is Ireland.”

    Tourist #1:You don’t have an Irish accent!”

    Me: “I’m not from here, though.”

    (At this point, another tourist who has been waiting to be served speaks up.)

    Another Tourist: “Sorry, ladies, but you’re in Ireland in an Irish castle. What were you expecting?”

    Tourists #1 and #2: “Americans!”

    Please Pound Into Her Head We Don’t Use Dollars

    | UK | Money, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (A tourist in front of me just ordered a coffee.)

    Cashier: “That will be £6.10, please.”

    Tourist: *hands him two USD $5 bills*

    Cashier: “We only accept English sterling.”

    Tourist: “So, you don’t take dollar bills?”

    Cashier: “No, only English sterling.”

    Tourist: *to her husband* “I can’t believe it! They only accept English sterling!”

    Another Customer: “Well, it’s ENGLAND!”

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