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  • Category: Tourists/Travel

    Suffering Some Confucian About Where He Is

    | Beijing, China | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (My coworker is a tour guide for American groups in Beijing.)

    Tourist: “Is there a Chinatown here?”

    Coworker: “…I’m sorry?”

    Tourist: “Well, most major cities have a Chinatown. I just wanted to see if I could visit the one in this city.”

    Coworker: “You do know what country you’re in right?”

    No Manners In Line Is Out Of Line, Part 2

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am nine years old, and my family has moved to a new area that has a corner store two blocks from my new house. Our town is a bit of a tourist trap, and late one afternoon, I am waiting in line to pay for the items mum needs. A tourist, dressed in costly, dressy clothes rushes through the doors and shoves in front of me.)

    Me: “Hey! The line ends back there. It’s rude to cut in!”

    Tourist: “Shut up!”

    (The tourist then addresses the cashier, a lady who knows me well enough to know that for a kid as shy as I am, trying to stand up for myself is a big thing.)

    Tourist: “I need two packs of [cigarette brand], and directions to [ritziest local hotel].”

    (The cashier looks at the tourist, silently, saying nothing at all for a long pause.)

    Tourist: “Are you deaf or stupid? I want two packs of [cigarette brand] and directions to [hotel]!”

    Cashier: “I was just giving you the chance to prove you have any manners at all. Looks like you don’t. This girl was next, and you pushed in. That’s rude.”

    Tourist: “I don’t have time for—”

    Cashier: “—and I don’t have time to deal with self-obsessed jerks. Get out.”

    Tourist: “No, listen! I want two packs of—”

    Cashier: “You aren’t getting anything. You have 30 seconds to get out of here before I call the cops.”

    Tourist: “Are you serious? You can’t be f****** serious! I want two packs of—”

    Cashier: “Get out!”

    (The cashier reaches behind her, and grabs the phone from the counter. She starts dialing.)

    Tourist: “Oh f*** it! I don’t want to buy anything in this stupid hick town anyway.”

    (The tourist flounces towards the door. I speak loudly before she gets to the door.)

    Me: “Isn’t it funny how we hicks actually know what good manners are for?”

    (The woman turns red and storms out of the store.)

    Related:
    No Manners In Line Is Out Of Line

    A Directionless Conversation, Part 2

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (We are a tourist park, and have a café which is situated just outside so that people can use it without paying to go in. The café is right next door to the entrance; you have to walk past it to come in.)

    Customer: “Is there a café here?”

    Me: “Yes, there is. It’s just next door.”

    Customer: “Where?”

    Me: “Right next door.”

    Customer: *confused* “Next door?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s the building next to this one.”

    Customer: “So, we have to go out?”

    Me: “Yes. You go out of this building, and it’s in the only other one.”

    Customer: “So, it’s out of here and next door.?”

    Me: “Yes. Go out of here, and look right. You’ll see it.”

    (The customer walks out, looking confused.)

    Coworker: “What’s the betting she’ll get lost?”

    Related:
    A Directionless Conversation

    August Themed Story Giveaway: Tourists & Travelers!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s August Themed Story Giveaway:
    Tourists & Travelers!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about tourist & traveler customers.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning July Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Wild & Unruly Customers. The winning submission: The Song Broke Loose And Then Vamoose And Now You Know The Plot (1987 thumbs up).

    PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, September 4!

    Weekly Roundup: Cruise Line Craziness!

    | Not Always Right | Roundups, Tourists/Travel

    Weekly Roundup: Cruise Line Craziness! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories about cruise ship passengers!

    1. The Vacation Of A Lifetime, Slightly Exaggerated (1,520 thumbs up)
    2. Varicose To His Wife (4,457 thumbs up)
    3. Low IQ On The High Seas (2,070 thumbs up)
    4. When Common Sense Goes Naval Gazing (3,033 thumbs up)
    5. What’s Red Or Blue And Dumb All Over (2,682 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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