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    Category: Tourists/Travel

    His Head Is In The Clouds

    | ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Do you have Airmiles?”

    Customer:“No. How much is it?”

    Me: “It’s [price].”

    Customer: “Wait, what did you ask me?”

    Me: “If you had Airmiles.”

    Customer: “Oh. Yes, I have Aeroplan.”

    Me: “Um, no, I asked for Airmiles.”

    Customer: “Oh. Okay. Wait. What?”

    Me: “I asked if you had Airmiles.”

    Customer: “Yes, I have Aeroplan.”

    Me: “No, that’s something different.”

    Customer: “Right. How much is it?”

    Me: “[Price].”

    Customer: “Yes, and I have Aeroplan.”

    Me: “We don’t take Aeroplan.”

    Customer: “What did you ask for, then?”

    Me: “…Airmiles.”

    Customer: “Yes, I have Aeroplan.”

    Me: “I didn’t ask for Aeroplan; I said Airmiles. They’re two different rewards cards.”

    Customer: “But I don’t have Airmiles.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Customer: “So… can you take my Aeroplan card?”

    Me: “…No.”

    Anything Goes Except Everything

    , | Vantaa, Finland | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (I work as a sales agent for an airline.)

    Me: “[Airline], this is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “We’d like to go for a holiday somewhere.”

    Me: “Okay, I can help you with that. What did you have in mind?”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Something would be nice.”

    Me: “Okay, would you prefer a city destination or rather a beach destination?”

    Customer: “I don’t know. Anything goes.”

    Me: “Okay, how long a trip you were thinking? A weekend trip or maybe a longer trip, a week perhaps?”

    Customer: “Well, anything goes.”

    Me: *getting a bit frustrated already, but still trying something to start with* “Okay, do you have in mind when you’d like go for the trip?”

    Customer: “Not really. Anything goes.”

    Me: *frustrated, but still very polite* “Okay, how about you go for a nice weekend to Stockholm next weekend?”

    Customer: “Well, actually we had a bit longer trip in mind and to some bit warmer destination. With a beach. And it has to be in September because that’s when we have our vacation.”

    The Biggest Space Is Between Their Ears

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at a certain mountain based sci-fi rollercoaster in a magical themed park run by a mouse. Every night at 10 pm, we have a fireworks show. One night, I am standing at greeter position. Five minutes before the fireworks show; I am approached by a guest.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, how could I be of assistance?”

    Guest: “Yeah, could you tell me what’s in here?” *pointing at the building containing the rollercoaster*

    Me: “Oh, yes, that’s [Space-themed Roller Coaster Mountain]. It’s an indoor rollercoaster. The wait time is currently—”

    Guest: “Wait, so, it’s not for the fireworks?”

    Me: “Afraid not. The fireworks will be visible from out here, though, if you wanted to see them.”

    Guest: “I really thought there was some special viewing area up there for the fireworks.”

    Me: *looking at the giant concrete structure with no platforms, windows, or balconies* “Unfortunately not, friend. In fact once inside you’ll be completely unable to see the fireworks, seeing as the whole thing is indoors.”

    Guest: “Oh. Wait why are there people going in then?”

    Me: “Well, they’re going in to ride the rollercoaster.”

    Guest: “But the fireworks are about to start.”

    Me: “They won’t be watching the fireworks.”

    Guest: “But why? They start in five minutes!”

    Me: “I guess they don’t want to see them then.”

    Guest: *after a long pause* “Well, that’s really stupid, then.”

    (Without any hesitation, the guest then proceeded to get in line for the ride, and walked into the building.)

    More Likely To Fly With Honey Than Vinegar

    | Houston, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Tourists/Travel

    (My wife and I are at the airport to fly out on vacation. The weather has gotten bad, and every single flight in has been delayed. We are waiting in line to talk to a ticket agent about when our flight will be in. There’s a businessman in front of us.)

    Agent: “I’m sorry, sir, but every flight in the airport is delayed. I can’t get you on anything sooner than two hours from now.”

    Businessman: “That’s not acceptable! I’m very important!”

    (This goes on for several minutes, and the businessman finally steps away from the agent’s counter in a huff.

    My Wife: *stepping up to the agent* “On behalf of ourselves and the entire human population, I’d like to apologize for him!”

    Agent: “That’s nice of you to say! Thank you!”

    (We get our new flight information for a flight on our original airline. It’s about four hours after our flight was originally scheduled. We walk away from the counter. After about 30 seconds, we are paged back to the counter.)

    Agent: “I’ve found you a flight on [Competitor’s Airline]. It leaves in about 1½ hours. Thanks again!”

    (Just proves the old adage about catching more flies with honey than vinegar…)

    If You Fail To Plan…

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Sir, in order for you to travel to Indonesia without a visa, you need to show proof to Immigration that you will leave the country within 90 days. Otherwise I would not be able to give you a boarding pass today.”

    Passenger: “I might go to Vietnam or Singapore, but I’m not sure yet.”

    Me: “Sir, is it possible that you buy a ticket now? To anywhere out of Indonesia.”

    Passenger: “How am I supposed to buy a ticket when I don’t know where I’m going to?”

    Me: “Sir, buying a ticket doesn’t mean you’re using it.”

    Passenger: “But what date? I don’t even know when I will leave.”

    Me: “Sir, you can buy a ticket with an open date or change the date later.”

    Passenger: “Like I said, I don’t know when and where I’m going to leave Bali. I’m a person that doesn’t make plans!”