Category: Tourists/Travel

Midwest Going South

| West Yellowstone, MT, USA | Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

(Most of the time when guests have a clogged toilet they come down or call and ask for a plunger or someone to come up. After all, we really don’t need to know WHY it’s clogged to fix it (and honestly we don’t want you to tell us).)

Guest: “Yeah, could I have a plunger? I just took a good old Midwestern s***!”

Me: “I did not know that was something the Midwest was known for…”

Travel Plans Are Bus(t)

| UK | Bad Behavior, Tourists/Travel

(I’ve booked a seat on a coach to take me into town from the airport. It turns out to be a 12-seater minibus and it’s fully booked. I notice a woman pushing angrily to the front of the queue despite not having a ticket.)

Angry Woman: “The desk is closed! Why is the ticket desk closed?”

Bus Driver: “It’s a public holiday, ma’am, so you need to buy your ticket from the drivers. Unfortunately, most people have booked ahead and this bus was full a week ago. You’ll need to wait for the next one.”

Angry Woman: “What?! That’s absolutely ridiculous! How is it my fault if all these people are pushy and greedy? Let me on immediately!”

Bus Driver: “I’m sorry, ma’am. As I explained these people have already paid and you will need to wait for the next bus.”

Angry Woman: “I won’t have this! What if the next bus does this, too? How do you expect me to get to London? Walk?”

Bus Driver: “Sorry, ma’am. If the next bus is full I suggest you try [Major Coach Operator] two bays down. They run 53-seater coaches so they should be able to fit you in.”

Angry Woman: “This is the worst customer service I have ever seen! I am going to put in a big complaint and you will lose everything!”

Other Passenger: “Look, how is it the driver’s fault if you didn’t have the sense to buy a ticket like everyone else?”

Angry Woman: “I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO!” *storms off*

A Giant Wave Of Ignorance

| Seward, AK, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(We do glacier and whale watching cruises. On this day, there has been a tsunami alert, although it later turned out to be a false alarm. The alarm horns are sounding all over the waterfront.)

Me: “This is the tsunami warning system. I need everyone to drop what you’re doing and evacuate uphill to the high school. There are evacuation route signs posted under the street signs.”

Customer: “Can you explain this tour to me?”

Me: “Sir, we are evacuating.”

Customer: “Can I just wait by the docks until you all come back?”

Me: “There is a tsunami alarm sounding. You need to get to high ground.”

Customer: “But, when the tsunami is over, will you be running more tours?”

Bringing You Up To Speed About Your State

| ID, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Tourists/Travel

(I am stopped while driving cross-country, going about 95.)

Highway Patrol: “Do you know how fast you were going, Ma’am?”

Me: “About 95. I thought there was no speed limit in Montana.”

Highway Patrol: “Yes, there is, Ma’am. And you’re in Idaho.”

(I got the ticket.)

Parking Back And Forth

| Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

Caller: “I’m leaving from your downtown terminal next week and I wanted to know if there is parking there.”

Me: “Sure! We have a small lot on our property, where you’re welcome to park if there is a spot available. There’s also a city lot, right out front, where you can park for about 3 days. And lastly, there is a pay parking lot at the office building just north of us.”

Caller: *impatiently* “I just wanted to know if there was parking there.”

Me: “Okay, great.” *thinking his question was already answered by the list of parking options*

Caller: “…so, is there?”

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