Category: Tourists/Travel

Swimming To A Fault

| UK | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “Three juniors for swimming, please.”

Me: “Okay.”

(We have a strict policy at our pool that children under eight have to be accompanied by an adult. I can see that one of the children is under eight.)

Me: “And is it just the children going swimming?”

Customer: “Yes, I can’t go; I am ill.”

Me: “Okay, how old are they?”

Customer: *obviously Grandpa* “They are seven, twelve and thirteen.”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but I cannot allow the seven-year-old in the pool without an adult over the age of 16.”

Customer: *shouting* “Tell me where is says that!”

(I point to the BIG poster on the wall.)

Customer: *walking away he shouts back* “YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A HOLIDAY RESORT!” *he then says to the youngest child* “That woman wouldn’t let you in!”

Me: “I am sorry that being on holiday seems to you that you can abandon all safety for you grandchildren. Please feel free to go outside, chuck them in the sea, and see how that goes. But that will probably be somebody else’s fault, too!”

Put Your Faith In The Patch

| Canada | Health & Body, Religion, Tourists/Travel

(I work on a cruise line’s guest services desk. Frequently, passengers wear little patches that prevent sea sickness. One man comes to my desk.)

Me: “Good afternoon. How can I help you?”

Man: “I was wondering what religion the people with the patches are.”

Needs To Be Coached On Buses

| Reykjavik, Iceland | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

Me: “These are your tickets, the bus is right out here—” *gestures to the door with a HUGE departures sign over it* “—and it will be marked with the tour name in the front window.”

Customer: “Thank you.” *the customer walks away, turns around and walks back to me* “Sorry, which bus is it?”

Me: “The bus is right out there and it’s the only one out on the lot.”

Customer: “Thank you.”

(Again he walks off, he walks out into the lot stares at THE ONLY BUS that’s there and then walks back to me.)

Customer: “Sorry, what number will be on the bus?”

Me: “The bus has the tour name in the front window and it’s the only bus departing at the moment.”

(The customer walked off for the third time, walked towards the bus, walked around the bus, and had almost walked off, when the driver caught up with him and escorted him onto the bus.)

Might Not Be A Queen But Sure Acts Like One

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

(An elite member comes to the front desk and asks if he can transfer to a suite, because he can’t see the TV from his bed in his king room.)

Me: “I have a suite that becomes available on Wednesday, but it has two queen size beds instead of a king.”

Guest: “Two queens?” *dramatically unzips jacket, and points to his ‘Happy Anniversary’ Disneyland pin* “Does THIS look like someone who should get a room with two queens?”

Me: “…no?”

Sub-par Subway Humor

| Washington, D.C., USA | Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(A man and his nervous looking wife approach.)

Man: “Hello, we’d like to get information on how to ride the subway around?”

Me: “Sure. To ride the subway you have to purchase a ticket from the machine there.”

Wife: “It’s safe around here, isn’t it?”

Me: “Of course.”

Wife: “I don’t believe it!”

Man: “Honey, it is perfectly fine.”

Me: *deciding to kid her* “Actually, you must be careful. Sometimes the subway trains will spit you out if you don’t board them fast!”

(The man starts laughing and his wife looks like she might faint.)

Me: “I’m kidding. They don’t do that!”

Wife: *not listening* “I’m going home!” *runs off*

Me: *to man* “Gee, good thing I didn’t say anything about the ticket price. Now, that’s scary.”

(He stopped laughing.)

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