• Gloating About Gluten
    (1,546 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Tourists/Travel


    | Yosemite National Park, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Tourists/Travel

    (A tourist walks up to me at the front desk.)

    Tourist: “Is that Half Dome outside?”

    Me: “Half Dome is one of the many mountain features outside if you face east.”

    Tourist: “Which one is it?”

    Me: “It is the one that is exactly half of a granite dome… to the east.”

    Tourist: “How much concrete was used to make it?”

    Me: “… Seriously?”

    Tourist: *stares blankly at me*

    Me: “I couldn’t tell you, but they decided to ditch the building project once they ran out of re-bar.”

    Putting The Scent Into Ascents

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (The x-ray operator sends me to search for an oversized liquid in a passenger’s carry on. She does the search required and finds an unopened bottle of 185 ml perfume.)

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, ma’am, this liquid is over the size limit and cannot go past this point.”

    Passenger: “That is not a liquid.”

    Coworker: “What is it, then?”

    Passenger: “It’s a scent.”

    He’s Fully Armed

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, One-Liners, Technology, Tourists/Travel

    (I am watching the walk-through metal detector when two teenagers line up to walk through. The first walks through. It doesn’t alarm and he gets excited. Then the second boy walks through…)

    Me: “Okay, walk through.”

    (The teenager walks through timidly then stops and stares at me.)

    Me: “You’re good to go.”

    (He then looks at his arms in astonishment.)

    Teenager: “Wow, I’m surprised these guns didn’t set it off!”

    Put Them In The Hot Seat

    | AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I always like to follow up after a trip I have booked for a customer. A couple had booked a plane flight to Florida, a small rental car, and a few nights hotel on the beach.)

    Me: “Hi, Mrs. [Name]. This is [My Name] calling from [Travel Agency]. I just wanted to make sure you had a wonderful time on your trip.”

    Wife: “You’ll have to speak with my husband. I’m too upset to speak with you.”

    Husband: “I can’t believe you have the courage to call, after what you did. I’ve dealt with incompetence before, but you are the worst!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry. What happened?”

    Husband: “When I booked the flight, I told you that I wanted an aisle seat, and my wife preferred a window seat. You had us backwards on all four flights!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you just swap seats? Or, say something to a flight attendant, who would have told you to just swap seats?”

    Husband: “…” *click*

    First Class Has No Class

    | France | Bad Behavior, Top, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (A group of friends and I are just coming back from backpacking in southern France when our train breaks down. All passengers are advised to take another train; however, it is already full. As there is no more standing room in the second class, we head to the first class. We ask the ticket inspector if it is allowed. He says it’s fine. A group of businessmen in suits already seated in the first class seem to disagree and call the ticket inspector over.)

    Businessman: “Excuse me? Could you please check the tickets of those youngsters? They don’t look like they would have tickets to the first class.”

    Ticket Inspector: “They don’t indeed. However, second class is completely full.”

    Businessman: “I understand that. However, I am paying your train company several thousands a year and for that, I expect a certain level of service. I am from Switzerland and own a large company myself! Those people only paid for one second class ticket and probably got it from a sale!”

    Ticket Inspector: “Again, I apologise. They have paid for their ticket and they have a right to get to Paris, same as you.”

    Businessman: “I will be calling your company to let them know about this situation!”

    Ticket Inspector: “All right, then, sir. I will chase them out of this compartment. As there is no more space for standing, I will have to stop this train here. They will have to get off here and walk to the next town, and the train will be even more delayed. But at least you, the important businessman, will not have to be near those students. Is that what you want?”

    (The businessman gets silent. The people he is travelling with are visibly uncomfortable.)

    Ticket inspector: “If you wish to call and complain about me to the company, be my guest. Good bye, sir.”

    (On his way out of the first class, the ticket inspector smiles and wishes us a pleasant trip. I only wish I could have bought this man a drink!)

    Page 16/54First...1415161718...Last