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    Dumb By Any Metric, Part 2

    , | Nanaimo, BC, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (We sell burgers in 1/4 lb and 1/2 lb size. It is part of our job to clarify which burger the customer is ordering. I overhear my coworker’s exchange at the next till.)

    Customer: “I’d like a burger please.”

    Coworker: “Certainly. Would you like the 1/4 lb or 1/2 lb?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure; whichever is bigger.”

    Coworker: “That would be the 1/2 lb.”

    Customer: “Sorry, I’m from the States, and I don’t understand your Canadian measurements!”

    Related:
    Dumb By Any Metric

    Ye Olde Fool

    | Belgium | Health & Body, History, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am breastfeeding my three-month-old baby quietly in a corner of a medieval festival. I am a participant. In front of me is a display of medieval stuff that I make. A tourist is passing by, and sniffs.)

    Tourist: “Like they did that in the middle ages!”

    Me: “Do you mean the breastfeeding? Of course they did; how else would they feed their baby?”

    Tourist: “If you knew a bit about history, you would know that they hired other women to feed the baby.”

    Me: “It is true that high-born ladies hired nurse maids to feed their baby and look after them, but how do you think these hired women fed the baby?”

    Tourist: “With a bottle of cow’s milk of course! Jeez!”

    Waiting For That Light Bulb Moment That Never Comes

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a call center making camping reservations for several state parks.)

    Me: “Okay, are you looking for an electric or a non-electric site?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “Well, one site has electricity for you to hook an RV or a camper up to, and the non-electric has no hookups.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand.”

    Me: “An electric site has electricity. A non-electric site does not.”

    Customer: “I still don’t understand.”

    Me: “Um… an electric site has an outlet for you to plug things into. A non-electric site does not.”

    Customer: “So… what’s the difference again?”

    Me: *sighs* “Are you camping in a tent or an RV?”

    (I end up being on the call for 40 minutes. The customer continues asking me the difference between an electric site, and a non-electric site.)

    No ID, No Idea, Part 12

    | Rapid City, SD, USA | Money, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at a water park about 20 minutes from Mt. Rushmore, so we have a lot of tourism. We have a gift shop that also allows you to rent towels and lifejackets. In order to rent, you must keep your ID with us. This is so you can remember to return items rented. A tour bus pulls up with a group from the local reservation, as well as a family from another state.)

    Tour Bus Customer: “Hi, I want to rent four towels and a lifejacket for my daughter please.”

    Me: “Certainly! Let me get your daughter in this jacket, and it will $27 with $11 as the deposit. We also need to hold your ID until we get these back.”

    Tour Bus Customer: “Sure, no problem.”

    (The tour bus customer yells to his wife to give him his wallet and hands me cash and his ID. This goes on for another few groups from the bus, and finally the group from another state is left.)

    Out-of-state Customer: “My family needs three towels.”

    Me: “Sure! It will be $15 with $6 deposit, and your ID, sir.”

    Out-of-state Customer: “What?! I most certainly will not! Your sign says $3 for rentals, and you will not have my ID, because that’s how identity theft happens.”

    Me: “I could understand your concern, but I do not touch the IDs. They stay in this little safe under the counter to prevent that. I only open it to retrieve the IDs. As for the rentals, it does say $3, but there is an additional $2 deposit. I guarantee you your money back; the ID is just something to make you remember to bring our stuff back. If you truly are concerned, I could have my manager hold it, or I’ll make an exception and you could leave $20 and still get $11 back.”

    Out-of-state Customer: “I most certainly will not do either. I expect to pay $9 and no higher. And my ID stays with me.”

    Me: “I understand, really. But your ID is safe, and you have to pay a deposit or I can’t rent to you.”

    Out-of-state Customer: “I will do no such thing!”

    (At this point, the out-of-state customer is starting to get angry, and is sliding things from the counter to the floor.)

    Tour Bus Customer: “Listen, sir, your ID is safe with the lady, and if you continue to disrespect her, you will be forced out off the area and banned from any lands around.”

    (The out-of-state customer turns to face the tour bus customer, who stands at 6’6″, about 275 lbs, and all muscle. Luckily, I know him, as he is my uncle’s best friend.)

    Out-of-state Customer: *stammers* “Uh, fine.”

    (The out-of-state customer throws in the cash and his ID, and takes off into the park.)

    Tour Bus Customer: “Let me know if he gives you any more trouble today.”

    (Thankfully, I think the out-of-state customer was scared straight, as his daughter came back only for the ID, and told me to keep the deposit as a tip!)

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 11
    No ID, No Idea, Part 10
    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

    A Large Intelligence Gulf (Of Mexico)

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “So, where are you located?”

    Me: “In Orlando, Florida.”

    Customer: “Ugh! I’m sick of all you foreigners taking jobs from us hard-working Americans!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am an American citizen. Florida is a state in America. Everyone who works in this call center is American.”

    Customer: “I’m not stupid! I know Florida is in Mexico! I want to talk to an AMERICAN!”

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