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    Category: Tourists/Travel

    A Large Intelligence Gulf (Of Mexico)

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “So, where are you located?”

    Me: “In Orlando, Florida.”

    Customer: “Ugh! I’m sick of all you foreigners taking jobs from us hard-working Americans!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am an American citizen. Florida is a state in America. Everyone who works in this call center is American.”

    Customer: “I’m not stupid! I know Florida is in Mexico! I want to talk to an AMERICAN!”

    Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3

    | Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Canada, Geography, Money, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at a gift shop in Canada, just beside the US border, so we usually have a lot of American tourists. Our gift shop is one of the only places in the area that lets a customer perform their transactions in US currency.)

    Customer: “Do you take real money?”

    Me: *confused* “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “Real money!”

    (The customer holds up US currency.)

    Me: “Oh, yes we take Canadian or American, and we’ll give you American change back if we have some in the till.”

    Customer: “Good, you people here are weird about your money.”

    Related:
    Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 2
    Loonie Over A Toonie

    Didn’t Rock Her History Lessons

    | Crowsnest Pass, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, History, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am currently serving a couple. We are the first restaurant that tourists heading west come to after passing through the largest rock slide in Canadian history.)

    Man: “That rock slide thing was incredible. Do you know anything about it?”

    Me: “Actually, yes I know quite a bit. The mountain fell one morning in 1903; 82 million tonnes of rock fell on the sleeping mining town below and killed almost 90 people. The town remains buried. There is an interpretive center where you can learn more if you would like.”

    Woman: “That’s okay dear; I do have one question though.”

    Me: “Sure, if I know the answer I would be happy to tell you something about the area.”

    Woman: “How did they make the rocks jump and miss the highway?”

    Me: “Um… well they didn’t. The slide happened in 1903. They put the highway in after, ma’am.”

    Woman: “Well I don’t understand; how did they do that?”

    (Thankfully at this point, I have to go and deal with some other customers. I can still hear her asking her husband as they leave, to explain it one more time.)

    Doesn’t Bavaria With Distances

    | Berlin, Germany | Geography, Hotels & Lodging, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    Guest: “Hi. So, I am going to go to see Neuschwanstein the day after tomorrow; I am meeting a friend there.”

    (Neuschwanstein Castle is 700 km, around 435 miles or at least a six-hour drive from Berlin. I assume he wants to leave Berlin and stay somewhere in Bavaria close to the castle.)

    Me: “Great, they tell me it’s well worth the trip.”

    Guest: “That’s what I heard. So, do you reckon I could be back here in time for the pub crawl?”

    Me: “Um… no, I don’t think so, unfortunately. It’s 700 km from here.”

    Guest: “Yeah. That’s only like 100 miles, right? I got a rental car. And you guys have the Autobahn, after all. I reckon it shouldn’t take me more than an hour one way!”

    What A Knut

    | Oxford, England, UK | Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m an IT tech, working on the computer in the tourist entrance to our college. As the college is rather old, and has featured in a certain series of wizard-based films, we have a lot of tour groups in the summer. I overhear this exchange between a tour guide and the tourist entrance manager.)

    Guide: “Hi, I have a group of eleven people who’d like to look around. Can you tell me where the [wizard-film] was shot?

    Manager: “Sure, it’s just around the corner, in the cloisters. Entry is £3 per person, unless they have university cards, or are seniors or students.”

    Guide: “WHAT?! SINCE WHEN DID YOU START CHARGING? WE ONLY WANT TO SEE THE FILM LOCATION! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE CHARGING NOW! YOU’RE JUST GOUGING TOURISTS NOW YOU’RE FAMOUS! YOU NEVER CHARGED ME LAST YEAR!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir; we have always made a charge for vis—”

    Guide: “THIS IS BULL-S***! I NEVER GOT CHARGED LAST YEAR! GET ME YOUR MANAGER, AND HE’LL TELL YOU THERE WAS NEVER A CHARGE!”

    Manager: “I am the manager, sir, and as far as I am aware, we have always made a charge. If you like, I can look up when that was introduced for you, and see what it was then.”

    Guide: “YOU DO THAT!”

    (The manager comes inside, and goes through a long list of old ledgers on a shelf behind me. He takes the last one out to the guide.)

    Manager: “Here we are sir. The earliest record of entry fees I have is for 1974. I can ring the archivist and see if she has any earlier records, if you wish.”

    Guide: “…that won’t be necessary. £3 per person was it?”

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