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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Tourists/Travel

    A Runway Runaway

    | Louisburg, NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at a small airport in Louisburg. We don’t have many commercial planes fly in but when we do they are normal small bush planes with only a few people on board. We have had a runway problem and can’t take any planes off today; the runway is having work done.)

    Pilot: “Excuse me, but why has my flight been canceled?”

    Me: “We are having a problem with our runway and can’t take any flights today.”

    Pilot: “Well, that’s bull-s***. I was just out there and it was fine.”

    Me: “I’m sorry but as you can see…” *points out to runway with workers* “There are people working on it today.”

    Pilot: “NO! I SEE NOTHING. NOW LET ME THROUGH TO GET TO MY PLANE!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m very sorry but I cannot let you through. Can you please calm down; I will be able to get you in the air first thing tomorrow.”

    Pilot: “No, I’ve had enough of you. Out of my WAY!”

    (He then pushed me out of the way and onto the floor and started to walk over to the hanger. I scrambled to my feet and called the workers and my supervisor to tell them what was coming, and called the police. The other worker and I sprinted over to the hanger and managed to get the hanger door closed before he could start the plane. After a while the police came and took him away, as he was going to try and take his plane off with people working on the runway!)

    Should Have Taken A Different Rhode

    | Newport, RI, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

    (I live and work in a popular tourist town on an island. We provide boat tours around the bay between the island and the mainland. A woman comes up to me.)

    Woman: “How do you know when you cross state lines during the tour if you’re on the water?”

    Me: “Well, our tours don’t leave the bay, so we don’t encounter that situation.”

    Woman: “You don’t cross state lines?”

    Me: “No, we don’t.”

    Woman: “Well, what’s that then?”

    (She points at the mainland in the distance.)

    Me: “That’s Providence, ma’am, and right across the bay is Jamestown.”

    Woman: “No, no. What state is it?”

    Me: “It’s still Rhode Island.”

    Woman: “No, it can’t be. What state is it?”

    Me: “I assure you, it’s still Rhode Island. Providence is the capital city.”

    Woman: “How can the capital city of Rhode Island be outside of Rhode Island?”

    Me: “It isn’t. All the land you see across the water is still Rhode Island.”

    Woman: “But that’s impossible!”

    (Suddenly I realize why she’s confused.)

    Me: “Ma’am, the island we’re on right now is called Aquidneck Island. Rhode Island is a state comprised of several different islands and a large mainland. Providence is on the mainland and Jamestown is on Conanicut Island, which I assure you is still a part of Rhode Island.”

    Woman: “You mean we’re not on Rhode Island?”

    Me: “We are IN Rhode Island, but we are currently ON Aquidneck Island.”

    Woman: “Well, that’s just false advertisement!”

    A Titanic Lie

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | History, Movies & TV, Tourists/Travel

    (In 2012, I am working at the end of the Titanic exhibit next to the wall of names of those who lost their lives. Next to the wall, is a sign saying that Jack and Rose from the movie are fictional characters, and were not actually present on the ship.)

    Patron #1: “Did you know that Jack and Rose were real live people?”

    Patron #2: “Oh, wow! I didn’t know they actually existed!”

    Patron #1: “Oh, yeah! But the only reason they’re not on any lists is because Jack won his ticket and Rose changed her name!”

    Me: “Ladies, if you’ll notice the sign next to the wall of the lost, you’ll see that they were actually fictional characters that never existed.”

    Patron #1: “What? You lie! THEIR LOVE WAS REAL AND SO WERE THEY!” *storms out of the exhibit*

    Not Even Remotely Thinking

    | Ruidoso, NM, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Tourists/Travel

    (I work for a small shop in town. We get a few tourist high points a year. It’s a mountain town with a population of about 8,000. It’s only 20 minutes away from another town and about 45 minutes from a larger city.)

    Customer: “How do you people live out here?”

    Me: “What? What do you mean?”

    Customer: “It’s so… remote.”

    Me: “Oh, well, we have everything we need here. Also, there is larger city about 45 minutes away if we need something that we cannot find here. Besides, it’s beautiful here.”

    Customer: “But… do you have electricity?”

    Me: *looks at all the lights in the store, the electronic cash register and the neon sign outside, the lamp posts outside and the traffic lights* “Yes… yes, we do.”

    Customer: “What about plumbing?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Positive?”

    Customer: “What about [popular and huge hotel]? Do they have lights and toilets?”

    Me: “Yes… everywhere here does. Literally, everywhere.”

    Customer: “But… it’s so remote. How do they get the lights here?”

    Me: “….wires and light poles?”

    Customer: “But where do the wires come from?”

    Me: “The nearest power station?”

    Customer: “What about water?”

    Me: “Pipes, and it would come from the nearest water treatment plant, which we have here.”

    Customer: “I just don’t understand you people at all.”

    Me: “Well, enjoy your stay…”

    Customer: “Do the people here have cars?”

    Me: “Have you seen cars since you have been here?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “There you go.”

    Her Head Is Already In The Clouds

    | London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m a duty manager at a five-star hotel, which is part of an international chain. I’ve just been up to the top floor to let one of our highest tier loyalty program members into her room to find her passport she’d forgotten and we take the lift back down to the lobby together…)

    Guest: “So if I’m going to Amsterdam what will they let me take with me?”

    Me: “…Flying there?”

    Guest: “Yeah! From Gatwick.”

    Me: “O… kay… You mean like in your luggage?”

    Guest: “Yeah, like, what type of bag?”

    Me: “Oh!! Well that usually depends on the airline. Who are you flying with?”

    Guest: “Jeanette.”

    Me: *blank look*

    Guest: “She’s my best friend.”

    Me: “No…”

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