Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,857 thumbs up)
  • Category: Top

    Customer Service Is Over(reaction)

    | State College, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

    (In the restaurant I work in we’re allowed to talk back to the customer if they’re being out of line. We’re open late, so a large portion of our customers are well past drunk. This occurs on an otherwise slow Sunday night.)

    Me: “Hi, what can i get for you?”

    Customer: “I want some chicken tenders and some fries. Do you have something like that?”

    Me: “Sure, you can get the combo platter for [price], unless you want a side of sauce. Then it’ll be a bit more.”

    Customer: *heavy sigh* “How much is a side of sauce in this f****** dump?”

    Me: *instantly irritated because I’ve been nice so far* “Excuse me? Did you just call my store a f****** dump?”

    Customer: *stares blankly at me*

    Me: “You can leave now.”

    Customer: “Why? I was just kidding.”

    Me: “It didn’t sound like you were kidding when you insulted my place of business. It also wasn’t even remotely funny, so I don’t know how you could consider that kidding.”

    Customer: “But I was just kidding. I really want the food.”

    Me: “So you want to insult me, and then have me smile and serve you? No. It’s not gonna happen. You and your friends can leave any time now.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Because I don’t appreciate your attitude, and I don’t want to serve you. Did I call you f****** ugly?”

    Customer’s Friend: “That’s uncalled for!”

    Me: “Why? I was just kidding. That makes everything better, doesn’t it?”

    (They ended up leaving, looking confused as to why I was upset. The other customers were laughing at them as they left. I told the owner of the store about it the next day. He just laughed.)

    I Am Just A Number

    | Bergen, Norway | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am out shopping with my 10-year-old sister. I am 23. Another customer, a woman in her 60s, approaches my sister as she is standing by herself for a moment.)

    Customer: “Are you the manager here?”

    Sister: “No…”

    Customer: “What are you, then?”

    Sister: “I’m 10…”

    Casting The First Stone Cold Glare

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Religion, Top

    (I am visiting two good Jewish friends. They are gay men and engaged. We’re at a coffee shop for breakfast.)

    Friend #1: *holding Friend #2′s hand* “Hey [Friend #2], what do you want?”

    Friend #2: “[Store Brand Drink], babe.”

    Customer #1: *spies them holding hands* “You should be ashamed of acting like that in public! There are children and God-fearing people in here! Couple of sick f**s…”

    Friend #1: “We’re not f**s. We’re gay. Last time I checked, we’re not cigarettes or bundles of twigs.”

    Customer #1: “You’re going to Hell for being a couple of sinners! You’re going to burn!”

    Friend #2: “So what are you drinking, [My Name]?”

    Me: “[Store Brand Drink], please!”

    Friend #2: *to Customer #1* “What about you, mister? What are you drinking?”

    Customer #1: *splutters* “I am not accepting charity from some dirty, sick homosexual!”

    Friend #1: “If your Jesus was brave enough to dine with prostitutes, the least you could do is accept our ‘charity.’”

    Customer #1: “F*** you!”

    Friend #1 & #2: *deadpan* “No, thanks. You’re not my type.”

    Customer #1: *screams* “This whole place is going to Hell!” *storms out*

    Customer #2: *starts clapping* “That… was… AWESOME! Please, let me pay for your order!”

    Me: “Nah, thanks. I’ll get it for them.”

    Manager: “No, you won’t. This order is on the house!”

    A Lot Of Hot Air Over Very Little Gas

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top, Transportation

    (When customers pre-pay for gas with a credit card, but their vehicle won’t take as much as they’ve put on it, the system automatically refunds the remaining portion onto the card that was used. This conversation takes place near the end of a 10-hour shift.)

    Customer: *in a not-so-nice tone* “I sent a kid in here earlier to get gas and he only pumped $17, but I was charged for $25. Why was I over-charged?”

    Me: *looks at his receipt* “Oh, well, it looks like they pre-paid for gas and it was charged to a credit card. The remaining portion would have been automatically refunded to your card.”

    Customer: “I need a receipt showing that it refunded.”

    Me: “I am so sorry, sir, but I can only print receipts for the past 10 transactions, and it looks like the kid you sent in got gas well over two hours ago. There isn’t a way for me to pull it up.”

    Customer: “Well how the h*** am I supposed to know that it refunded? How do I know you didn’t steal my money?”

    Me: “As soon as the nozzle on the pump is hung back up, it refunds automatically. You could actually call your credit company right now, and it would show that the balance is there.”

    Customer: “No! I will not call them! I want you to show me proof right now that you didn’t steal my money!”

    Me: “As I just said, there is nothing I can do. It’s been several hours since this transaction took place, so I can’t look it up. I assure you, if you would just call…”

    Customer: “I need you to write down that I only pumped $17 worth of gas and sign it so I can dispute it when it charges me $25 on my bill!”

    Me: “Sir, I have no idea how much gas you pumped, so I will not sign anything saying you only pumped $17. Furthermore, you’ve been yelling at me for over three minutes during a very busy time and I’m the only person here to ring out the 12 people behind you. I’ve told you that all you have to do is call the number on the back of the card to verify that you were only charged for what you pumped, and yet you’re still unsatisfied. The only other thing I can offer is that you call our customer service center and file a complaint. The number, and our store number are posted right beside you, and my name is on your receipt from earlier.”

    Customer: *shoves a pen and his receipt in my face* “I’m not leaving until you write a statement about my gas and sign it!”

    Me: “If you don’t leave, I will call the police to escort you from the premise.”

    (Just then, one of our regulars, who is a police officer and in uniform, walks in. I sigh in relief, but the customer doesn’t notice.)

    Customer: “You WILL write down that I only pumped $17. I’m not going anywhere!”

    Me: “Hey, [Officer], could you do me a favor?”

    Officer: “That depends… What is it?”

    (The customer looks over at the officer, back at me, and scrambles out the door.)

    Me: “Never mind; he left on his own.”

    An Off-Color Purchase

    | Dedham, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work in the beer and wine department of a large supermarket chain. A very elderly customer comes in a couple times a month and asks us to give him two different white wines, six bottles of each. This day, he approaches me.)

    Customer: “Could you help me? I want two red wines, six bottles of each.”

    Me: “What do you typically like?”

    Customer: “I don’t care. What do you think I’ll like?”

    (I suggest a couple wines, he takes them without complaint.)

    Customer: “You know, for ten years I’ve been drinking nothing but white wine, because I didn’t want to spill it and stain the carpet. But you know what I realized? F*** it!”

    Page 4/357First...23456...Last