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    Counting And Discounting

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Math & Science, Money, Top

    (I’m a cashier at a place that sells small items of furniture, storage containers, and so on. We are having a 10% off sale. My last customer caused a huge amount of trouble due to getting angry and shouting over not understanding the difference between 10% and $10, so I’m feeling frazzled. A mother and her child, probably seven or eight, come up to my register and start unloading their items while they talk.)

    Mother: *to the kid* “Now, this container was $19.95, but we bought two, so how much is that?”

    Kid: “$39.90!”

    Mother: “Well done! But remember, there’s 10% off today. What’s 10% of $39.90?”

    Kid: “$3.99, so the real price would be… umm, $35.91?”

    Mother: “That’s right! Nicely done! But now here comes the hard one, so look out! I have my membership card!”

    (The child’s eyes widen. Membership cards give a further 25% discount.)

    Kid: “Okay, okay, umm…”

    Mother: “You can do it!”

    (By this time, I’ve scanned the items and bagged them. Just as I’m about to say the total, the child beats me to it.)

    Kid: “$26.93!”

    Mother: “Fantastic job! I think we get to stop at the playground on the way home!”

    Kid: “Yes!” *jumps up and down gleefully*

    (After my last customer, a fully grown man who couldn’t understand what a percentage was, I’m literally dumbfounded. In the end, I call my manager and we give the mother a further employee discount, which her child also worked out.)

    Mail Order Disorder

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I live in an apartment complex that mainly serves as a home for elderly and handicapped residents. One afternoon, I am expecting a check to come in the mail, and I need to cash it before the bank down the street closes at 4 pm. The mail lady doesn’t arrive until 3:45. There is a crowd of people waiting for their mail, and we are all watching her load the 50-or-so mailboxes in anticipation. As soon as she put my mail into my mailbox, I approached it to grab the check, since it was almost 3:50.)

    Mail Lady: “I’m so sorry, but for policy reasons at this complex, you’re going to have to wait until I finish with all of the mail. I’m not allowed to let people grab their mail until it’s all in.”

    Me: “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had to wait for everyone’s mail to be put into their individual mailboxes. I just really need to get my check, but I’ll wait.”

    Mail Lady: *very friendly and understanding* “No worries. It’s all right. Most people at this complex make that mistake at least once, and try to get their mail before I’m finished. I’ll try to finish up as quick as I can so you can get your check.”

    Me: “Okay. Thanks!”

    (I walked back to the group of waiting people. Suddenly, one of the old ladies behind me tapped me hard on the shoulder. Very hard. I turned around to look at her.)

    Old Lady: *angry tone* “Hey! She said you can’t have your mail yet!”

    Me: “Oh, I understand. I didn’t realize I had to wait until it was all in. That’s why I came back to the group here to wait.”

    Old Lady: *becoming even more angry* “Don’t you talk back to me! You need to wait your turn!”

    Me: “But… I AM waiting. I’m standing right here with everyone else, waiting.”

    Old Lady: *almost screaming at me* “A brat is what you are! You NEED to WAIT YOUR TURN!”

    Me: “Oh, for the love of god, I AM WAITING! I just made a small mistake. But I’m waiting now. Leave me alone.”

    (At this point, I turned and looked away from her, figuring I’d ignore her.)

    Old Lady: *almost going into a panic* “You shouldn’t get your mail because you won’t wait your turn! JUST WAIT WITH THE REST OF US!”

    (She continues ranting about how I ‘don’t deserve’ my mail, how ‘rude’ and ‘thoughtless’ I am, etc. Finally, the mail-lady turned and looked at her.)

    Mail Lady: “Ma’am. Shut your d*** mouth and leave the poor guy alone! He didn’t do anything wrong, and he’s already CLEARLY waiting! If you don’t stop, I won’t give you your mail! You’re just a rude old bat, aren’t you?!”

    (The lady finally took the hint and left me alone. Thanks for dealing with her for me, mail lady!)

    Listen To The Irony Of The Situation

    | Abilene, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I work as a cashier in a grocery store that values guest service very highly. We’re expected to greet, converse with, and thank every customer. My current customer, a young woman, is talking on her cell phone.)

    Me: “Hello. How are you today?”

    Customer #1: *talking on phone* “… and then we went to the mall and shopped for mom’s birthday…”

    (Noticing she’s on her phone, I don’t attempt to make any more conversation other than ‘paper or plastic’ and ‘sign here, please.’ She doesn’t say a word to me. I then turn to the next person in line, an older lady shopping with a friend.)

    Me: “Hi! Did y’all find everything you needed today?”

    Customer #2: *ignoring me, speaking to her friend* “Can you believe that girl? When I’m working at [Retailer], I won’t ring them up until they get off the phone. So rude!”

    Me: “Would you like your milk in a bag, ma’am?”

    Customer #2: *still speaking to friend* “I mean, is your conversation SO important that you can’t pay attention to the person in front of you?”

    Me: “Your total is [amount]. Can you sign the screen, please?”

    Customer #2: *signs without looking at me, still chatting* “Common courtesy is dead, I’m afraid.”

    Me: *quietly bagging the groceries* “Thank you. Here is your receipt. Have a nice day.”

    (They left without a word. Some people just aren’t very self-aware, I guess!)

    All Fired Up And Fried Up

    | Medicine Hat, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I have a headset on to assist drive-thru…)

    Cashier: “You had the burger and a coke. Any fries today?”

    Customer: *grumpy*: “No fries!”

    Cashier: “Okay. And what size for your drink?”

    Customer: “NO FRIES!”

    Cashier: “I know, but what size for your drink? Small, medium, or large?”

    Customer: “I said NO FRIES!”

    Cashier: “Okay. The burger and a coke…”

    Customer: “LISTEN, YOU LITTLE B****! I said I didn’t want fries! Don’t you f****** listen?!”

    (She drives up to the first window and I’m ticked off, so I take it. She hands me her credit card.)

    Me: “DON’T SWEAR AT MY COWORKERS!”

    Customer: “Well, she wasn’t listening!”

    Me: “Yes, she was. You didn’t. She asked what size of drink. She didn’t say a damn word about fries after you said you didn’t want any.”

    Customer: “I want your manager.”

    (I call for manager.)

    Customer: “I want—”

    Me: “Nope. You want the manager, not me, so you’re getting the manager.” *I still have her card so she can’t leave*

    (The manager comes and the customer complains about my attitude to her. The manager says exactly what I did, not to swear at us, it’s her own fault, and not to come back. Haven’t seen her since.)

    Trying To Stamp Out Stupid

    | West Hartford, CT, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Top, Transportation

    (I am friendly with our neighborhood postal delivery lady, and always chat with her when taking the dog out for his afternoon walk. She was telling me about the new neighbors that just moved in.)

    Postal Lady: “Hey, how are you doing?”

    Me: “Good. Yourself?”

    Postal Lady: “I tell you, I have to deal with some pretty stupid people on my job. You’re going to like this. Do you know where the new neighbors just moved in?” *points to the house*

    Me: “Yeah. What about them?”

    Postal Lady: “Well, the other day, when I was when I was delivering their mail, the lady came screaming, waving her arms, running out of her house, because she wanted to ask me if she wants to mail something what does she need to do.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Postal Lady: “So I tell her if she puts something in the mailbox, just put the flag up. Then she asked, ‘What flag? You never gave me a flag!’ So I showed her, by moving it up and down. She responded, ‘I don’t think that you are very intelligent. That is NOT a flag. A flag is a piece of fabric on a pole. This is just piece of plastic!’”

    (I start laughing.)

    Postal Lady: “Wait, it gets better. Today, when I delivered her mail, the ‘flag’ was up. And in it I found this:”

    (She showed me an envelope with a hand written address, and where the stamp should have been was a square that read ‘First Class Mail: No Stamp Needed of Mail in the USA’ that was cut out of a piece of junk mail and taped on to the envelope.)


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