July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Top

Why Can’t You Be Omniscient?!

| Tampa, FL, USA | Top

Customer: “Do other places besides Disney sell Disney tickets?”

Me: “I believe so, but I only have information about the tickets we sell.”

Customer: “How much do other places charge?”

Me: “I don’t have any information on other ticket resellers.”

Customer: “Is it cheaper if I buy tickets somewhere else?”

Me: “Sir, I don’t know anything about other places, only Disney.”

Customer: “Will they add the no expiration option for me?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Customer: “Can you give me names and contact information for other ticket places?”

Me: “Sir, I can only help you if you wish to purchase tickets directly from Disney.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you’re being unhelpful!”

Note: Still Needs To Discover Fire And The Wheel

| USA | Top

(Ten years ago, I was working for a company selling computerized cash registers. A customer called in to help me with a cash register that didn’t connect to the back office computer)

Me: “So, can you tell me the settings of the DIP switches on the cash register?”

Customer: “DIP switch?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, the small switches located on the backside.”

Customer: “Eeeerrr…there are no switches there.”

Me: “Oh, yes, there are. Right next to the power cord.”

Customer: “No. There are no switches. Not any more!”

Me: *puzzled* “Huh? Not any more? What do you mean?”

Customer: “Well, you know, my colleague told me that these switches might actually be what caused the problem, so I removed them.”

Me: “REMOVED THEM??”

Customer: “Yeah, you know, removed them. With a chisel.”

Source

Genres Are For Weaklings

| Pennsylvania, USA | Top

Customer: “What movie just came out on video that’s like Lord of the Rings?”

Me: “I’m not sure, we haven’t gotten any big titles this week and definitely nothing that’s like Lord of the Rings…”

Customer: “Well, I saw a commercial that said, ‘Now available at your local *** Video’…and this is my local *** video.”

Me: “Hmmm, let me check with another manager.” (I call up to the office)

Me (to manager): “What came out this week besides Jeepers Creeper?”

Customer:JEEPERS CREEPERS! That’s it!”

Me: “We have that, but it’s nothing like Lord of the Rings.”

Customer: “Yeah it has monsters in it, it’s like Lord of the Rings.” *customer walks away*

Another employee: “You should tell him to rent The English Patient too. It has talking in it, so it’s like Lord of the Rings.”

Well, That Came Out Of Nowhere

, | California, USA | Top

(Two middle-aged women walk into the store)

Woman 1: “I need a guitar stand for my son.”

Me: “Let me go grab one for you.”

(I go into the back for a minute and return with the stand)

Me: “They’re $18.95 plus tax.”

Woman 2: “You’re an animal.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Woman 2: “You’re an animal. It’s a good thing.”

Me: “Alright then.”

Woman 2 (to Woman 1): “I don’t know why people always get confused when I tell them that…”

A Lost Cause

| USA | Top

(I have a friend that works at a home improvement store; one day, a woman comes in looking for a generator)

Customer: “What does it mean when it says seven gallon tank?”

Employee: “Uh, it means it can hold seven gallons of gas.”

Customer: “Gas? Why would it need gas?”

Employee: “It’s a generator. How else would it produce electricity?”

Customer: “I thought you just plugged it in.”

Source

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