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    Category: Top

    Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota

    , | Edmonton, Alberta, Canada | Food & Drink, Top

    Customer: “I’d like pineapple on my sub.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have pineapple. Only Mr. Sub has pineapple.”

    Customer: “Yes you do! I always get pineapple here!”

    Me: “I’ve worked here for quite a while, and we’ve never had it. Sorry!”

    Customer: “Excuse me, the customer is always right! You can’t argue with me!”

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer speaks to my manager: “Excuse me, your employee is arguing with me! What are you going to do about it?”

    Manager: “Don’t be so stupid! Get out of my store!”

    It’s Okay, She Has A Thick Head

    | USA | Top

    (While installing a street light pole)

    Lady: “Is this going to take long?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I need to you step back.”

    Lady: “But is this going to take long? I need to get to my car.”

    Me: “Ma’am… I need to you step back.”

    Lady: “Is there someone else I can talk to?”

    Me: “Ma’am… you have a 1 ton concrete pole directly over your head. If it drops, you are going to die. I need you to please step back.”

    Lady: “Ok… but can I get to my car?”

    Me: (I yell to my job foreman) “…Hillbilly!”

    Hillbilly: “GET THE F*** OUT!”

    Lady: “I never met anyone so rude.”


    Depth Perception Strikes Again

    | UK | Top

    Customer: “So you’re sure you don’t have any small hot dogs?”

    Employee: “Yes.”

    Customer: (Points to hot dog grill further down the counter) “Well what about those ones over there then??”

    Employee: “No, they’re just further away.”

    Internet = Tubes, Word = Sheets

    | USA | Top

    Woman 1: “What is that little trash can on the screen?”

    Woman 2: “My son says that is called the ‘recycle bin’. He tells me when I don’t want a Word document anymore and I delete it, it really goes in there.”

    Woman 1: “Why in the recycle thingy? Can’t you just erase it?”

    Woman 2: “Oh no, Word wouldn’t work for very long if I did that, I would run out of blank pages.”

    Woman 1: “Why?”

    Woman 2: “Because it cleans the words off the pages, then sends the blank sheets back to Word so they can be used again. That’s why it’s called the recycle bin.”


    Captain Obvious To The Rescue

    , | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Top

    Me: “Hello, welcome to ***, what kind of sandwich can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Uhh… I’ll get a Club.”

    Me: “Would you like a 6 inch or a footlong?”

    Customer: “I don’t know, how long is a footlong?”

    Me: “It’s a FOOT LONG.”

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