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    Category: Top

    Dirty Minds

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Top

    (Customer calls requesting a cable.)

    Customer: “Hi. I am trying to connect my iPod to my stereo.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you have a receiver, a small shelf system, or a boombox?”

    Customer: “It’s a smaller stereo.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you have a small plug that looks like a headphone plug that is labeled AUX, Audio IN, or anything of the sort?”

    Customer: “Yes, there is a small round plug that says AUX.”

    Me: “Okay, that’s easy. All you need is a 3.5mm male-to-male RCA cable.”

    Customer: “Male-to-male as in boy-to-boy.”

    Me, knowing what is coming next and not caring: “Yes, it is just referring to whether it is a plug or a receptor of a plug.”

    Customer: “Well, you are just disgusting!”

    Me: “Sorry ma’am, that is just an industry standard term.”

    Customer: “That is just one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard!”

    Me: “Sounds good.”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Aggression Issues

    | Tokyo, Japan | Top

    Me, checking a customer’s network connection: “…so you double-click with the left button of your mouse on the Local Area Connection icon.”

    Customer: “What? Double-kick?”

    Me: “No, double-click; I mean you click twice, consecutively with the left button of your mouse on the Local Area Connection icon.”

    Customer: “Double-kick?”

    Me: “Yes, double-kick your monitor.”

    Living On The Edge

    | New York, NY, USA | Top

    (At an ice cream shop)

    Me: “Would you like any mix-ins with that?”

    Older woman: “Yes, I would like almonds. But not too many, because I’m allergic, and if I have too many I will die.”

    Me: “…”

    We Need One Of These In Every Store

    | Vancouver Island, Canada | Awesome Customers, Top

    Employee: *making out a rain check* “Okay, so I’m just going to look on the computer and check if any other locations have this item.”

    Nice customer: “Okay, thanks.”

    Angry customer: “Stop f***ing socializing and do your g**d*** job!”

    Employee: “Sir, please don’t be abusive, I’m just checking our other loc-”

    Angry customer: “I don’t care! DO YOUR JOB!”

    (At this point, the angry customer moves toward the counter in a very threatening way. The customer behind HIM, a super-fit guy in a UFC jacket, steps in. Mr. UFC grabs the angry customer in a CHOKE HOLD and drags him outside, followed quickly by management, and to the applause of the staff and customers inside the store.)

    (The angry customer was banned from the store and Mr. UFC got a gift card.)

    Ask A Stupid Question, Part 2

    | Denver, CO, USA | Top

    (I’m standing right in front of about ten racks of toys and a giant sign that says “Toy Shop.”)

    Customer: “Do you carry toys?”

    Me: *turns, looks up at the sign* “Nope.”

    (Customer walks off to continue her search.)

    Related:
    Today, All My Questions Shall Be Stupid
    Ask A Stupid Question …

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