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    Category: Top

    Well, That Came Out Of Nowhere

    , | California, USA | Top

    (Two middle-aged women walk into the store)

    Woman 1: “I need a guitar stand for my son.”

    Me: “Let me go grab one for you.”

    (I go into the back for a minute and return with the stand)

    Me: “They’re $18.95 plus tax.”

    Woman 2: “You’re an animal.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Woman 2: “You’re an animal. It’s a good thing.”

    Me: “Alright then.”

    Woman 2 (to Woman 1): “I don’t know why people always get confused when I tell them that…”

    A Lost Cause

    | USA | Top

    (I have a friend that works at a home improvement store; one day, a woman comes in looking for a generator)

    Customer: “What does it mean when it says seven gallon tank?”

    Employee: “Uh, it means it can hold seven gallons of gas.”

    Customer: “Gas? Why would it need gas?”

    Employee: “It’s a generator. How else would it produce electricity?”

    Customer: “I thought you just plugged it in.”

    Source

    The Return Of Captain Obvious

    , | Florida, USA | Top

    Customer in an ice cream shop: “What’s in the Chocolate Caramel Cashew?”

    Me: “There’s really no way for me to answer that without sounding like a smarta**.”

    Customer: “Why? What’s in it?”

    Me: “It’s chocolate ice cream … with caramel … and cashews.”

    Related:
    Captain Obvious To The Rescue
    Belaboring The Obvious

    Time To Call The Plumber

    | Tel Aviv, Israel | Technology, Top

    Me: “Internet helpdesk, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I can’t connect to the internet.”

    Me: “How long has it been since you last connected?”

    Customer: “I was connected until a few minutes ago.”

    Me: “Have you changed anything in your network?”

    Customer: “Well, I was downloading some movies over the net, but the download got too slow. I called a friend of mine and he told me that some movies could’ve gotten stuck in the cable. So I cut the cable to see if I could yank it out of there. I didn’t find anything, so I taped the cable back together. Now, can you get it back to work?”

    Me: *grimace*

    Why Asking Why Is A Bad Idea

    , | Florida, USA | Top

    Customer: “Oh, and could I also get a glass of milk?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell milk.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Well, let’s see, I could make up a reason involving the phrase ‘health codes,’ I could act dumb and just get the manager, or I could just be a total jerk about it, but at the end of the day, you’re still not gonna get a glass of milk, so how about we just skip that whole thing?”

    Customer: “…okay.”


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