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    Behind Every Husband Is A Brutally Honest Wife

    | Louisville, KY, USA | Top

    (I go to a table of four, a mom and dad and two kids who are ready to order.)

    Husband: “How big are your pizzas?”

    Me: “They are 10 inch pizzas, sir.”

    Husband: “Well how big is 10 inches?

    (And before I can answer, the wife chimes in.)

    Wife: “You wouldn’t know anything about 10 inches, dear.”

    (I stood there for a moment with my mouth open, before I ran to the wait station and started laughing hysterically.)

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

    Might I Also Suggest A Dictionary

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Top

    Customer: “Hi. I need a threesis.”

    Clerk: “A…pardon?

    Customer: “You know–a threesis. It has other words that mean the same as the word you look up.”

    Clerk: “Oh…do you mean a thesaurus?”

    Customer: “Duh! That’s a dinosaur! I need a threesis!”

    That’s, Like, Mean

    | Oregon, USA | Top

    Student: “So, like, um, you wrote on my paper that I wrote like, I, like spoke…but you only gave me 2 out of 10 points.

    Me: “You used ‘like’ 56 times and ‘that’ 87.”

    Student: “Um, why is that a problem??”

    Me: “It was a 2 page writing assignment.”

    Student: “So…um…since I talked with you, um…can I have some more points?”

    Perhaps A Little Bit Too Free

    | Ventura, CA, USA | Top

    (Woman walks in totally nude and grabs a muffin. She has a large, rather offensive tattoo from her bottom rib up her neck.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you can’t just take those…”

    Nudist: “Why, because of the tattoo?”

    Me: “No, because you need to pay for it first.”

    Nudist: “It’s a free country!” *walks out*

    (I ended up pulling out my wallet and paying for it myself, because getting arrested for chasing a nude chick down the street is not worth it.)

    How A DS RPG Killed The ESRB

    , | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Top

    (Customer brings a mediocre role playing game for the Nintendo DS up to the counter.)

    Customer: “Hey, would this game be good for an eight year old?”

    Me: “Well, does he like RPGs?”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t let him watch anything rated R.”

    Me: “Oh…I mean, does he like role playing games?”

    Customer: “Whats that? That like one of them Mario games?”

    Me: “No, it’s one where you follow a story line and usually has a lot of reading, like Final Fantasy. Has he ever played anything like that before?”

    Customer: “Oh, he don’t read books. And I don’t like that it’s rated R and PG.”

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