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    Category: Top

    Honor Among Thieves

    | New Hampshire, USA | Top

    Me: “Your total is $87.95.”

    Customer: “I have a coupon for [X product]. It was for a dollar off.”

    Me: “Ok.” (I wait 30 seconds for her to produce it, but she stares blankly at the total on the screen.)

    Customer: “Well, aren’t you going to type that in? It’s for one dollar.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I just need to see the coupon so I can scan it.”

    Customer: “Well I don’t HAVE it with me…it’s at home. I forgot it, but it’s for [X product] for a dollar.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t credit you for that unless you bring the coupon with you. You are welcome to bring it next time. Your total today is $87.95.”

    Customer: “So what, you don’t believe me? Why can’t you just give me a dollar off? That’s what the coupon was for.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I believe that you bought the product and that you have the coupon at home, but I am unable to give you the discount without actually physically having the coupon in my till drawer.”

    Customer: “Well that’s just the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. What ever happened to the honor system! It’s rude of you not to believe me!”

    Intoxicated Musings

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Top

    Random Customer at a bar #1: “Why do you always have to be so self defecating?”

    Random Customer at a bar #2: “I see that you read a lot. I read a lot, too. I just finished Brave New World by Adolphus Huxley.”

    Random Customer at a bar #3: “Yeah, it’s crazy, they can go to the bottom of the Marinara Trench.”

    Related:
    There Once Was A Man From Nantucket

    The Birds And The Bees Talk, Illustrated

    , | Belgium | Top

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like a Playboy for my son.”

    Me: “…excuse me?”

    Customer: “You know, a Playboy to play with.”

    Me: *trying very hard not to laugh* “You mean a Gameboy?”

    Customer: “Yeah that!”

    Customer: *realizes what she said* “OH!”

    Oh, How The Truth Doth Sting

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Top

    (As a result of the US/Canadian currency parity, a lot of customers have been angry that they have to pay the Canadian price instead of the cheaper US price.)

    Customer: “Which price do I have to pay: the American or Canadian?”

    Coworker: “I’m afraid you have to pay the Canadian price.”

    Customer: *angrily* “Why?”

    Coworker: “Quite simply, we buy from Canadian publishers with Canadian money. Also, that book was bought before the price parity, therefore, to sell at the American price would mean that we would not be making any money.”

    Customer: “Well, I want you to explain to my 7 year old daughter why she’s not getting this book for Christmas.”

    Me: “…because her dad is a cheapskate?”

    Caught Red-Handed

    | Colorado, USA | Top

    Guest: “I’d like to return this toaster.”

    Me: “Okay ma’am, do you have a receipt for the purchase dated within 90 days?”

    Guest: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, well you can’t return it then. However, if you have an ID you can exchange it for an item of equal or lesser value from the same department.”

    Guest: “But I don’t want to exchange it. I want my money.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry but if you don’t have a receipt, you can’t return the item.”

    Guest: “[Other store name] would take it back!”

    Another guest in line: “Excuse me, I work there and, no we wouldn’t!”

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