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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Top

    Military Intelligence

    | MCAS Miramar, San Diego, CA, USA | Top

    Me: “Okay sir, can you hear me?”

    Pilot: “Loud and clear. Okay, I have a problem with my radar…it won’t test and nothing is coming up in the O-F-F position.”

    Me: “Well, sir, turn it to the O-N position and let me know how things work out.”

    On The Futility Of Signs

    | Flagstaff, AZ, USA | Top

    (One customer complains about a game that is not giving tickets. Upon looking at the game, I discover that a fuse is blown. I place several “Out of Order” stickers over the coin slot and refund the customer. Two minutes later another customer approaches.)

    Customer: “I just put a coin in this game and won tickets but none came out.”

    Me: “I placed an ‘Out of Order’ sticker on the coin slot. Is it not on there anymore?”

    Customer: “You mean these? They were in the way so I removed them. Can I get a refund?”

    Must Be A Vegan

    | Palm Coast, FL, USA | Top

    (I was working at a Subway about a year ago)

    Me: “Hi. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Let me see.” *looks at the menu* “A sub.”

    Me: “What kind of sub do you want, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I want provolone cheese?”

    Me: “What kind of meat would you like?”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “What kind of meat?”

    Customer: *agitated* “Are you being rude?”

    *storms out and stands in front of the store for a few minutes telling people not to come in because of a rude employee*

    Sure, We Have A Cow Out Back (Part 2)

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Top

    Customer: “Um…yes, are you guys going to put out more skim milk?”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but we’re all out of white milk, both skim and 2%. All we have left is chocolate.”

    Customer: “Completely out?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, we’re completely out.”

    Customer: “Oh, well. Do you think you could make some more?”

    Me: “Are you serious?!”

    Related: No Problem, We Have A Cow Out Back

    A Pyrhhic Victory

    | Bridgewater, NJ, USA | Top

    (Earlier in the day this guy called to make a reservation, even though we were totally booked. The manager decided to take it anyway. When he got to the restaurant, he proceeded to pick his own table though I had no idea he had.)

    Me: “Okay sir, just follow me and I can bring you to your table.”

    Customer: “But I’ve been waiting for this one.”

    Me: “Well, sir, that table is still occupied however I do have an available table for you.”

    Customer: “NO! I don’t want that table. I’ve been waiting for this table for 20 minutes now! Why should I go sit at that table when I’ve been waiting for this one!”

    Me: “Okay. But just so you know. It’s going to be another 20 minutes before they pay and get up, if they decide to get up after paying. Even then you’d still have to wait for a busser to clear it and another one to reset it and right now they are backed up.”

    Customer: “I just don’t understand why I can’t have this table.”

    Me, annoyed: “And I don’t understand why you won’t sit at an open table that we have waiting for you where you can sit down and start enjoying your meal now instead of waiting another 30 minutes for THAT table to be ready for you.”

    Customer: “Attitude? Are you giving me attitude? I don’t think so buddy!”

    Me: “Weelll…”

    (At this point the other hostesses gave me a death look to shut up so I gave up. The customers at the table he was waiting for actually did decide to camp out for another hour. By that time we sat the table we were to give him. He ended up waiting an extra hour and a half to be seated.)


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