Featured Story:
  • A Total Brazil Nut
    (1,446 thumbs up)
  • April Theme Of The Month: Losing My Religion!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Top

    Fun With Language Barriers

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Top

    (I worked at this little burger joint in Seattle. I’m white, but I’m bilingual. Our grill workers all spoke primarily Spanish, so I would talk to customers in English and call back orders in Spanish.)

    Old Man Customer: “Now, what is a pretty young thing like you doing speaking the Dirty Man’s Language?”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

    Old Man Customer: “You should be speaking English! Its only natural, here in America!”

    Me: “It’s just fastest, sir. The language communicates more efficiently in an environment like this.”

    (I was not about to tell him that the grill workers were mostly South American immigrants, after hearing his first reaction.)

    Old Man Customer: “Have some pride in your country! SPEAK ENGLISH when you call back my order, do you understand?”

    Me, knowing full well that his order wouldn’t actually come through if I did that: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m afraid it’s procedure.”

    Old Man Customer: “I want to speak with your manager! This restaurant is just UNAMERICAN!”

    Manager, who had been working the register next to me: “Si, se&#241or?”

    Old Man Customer: *storms out*

    Related:
    Welcome To People’s Pizza, Comrade

    Why Some Folks Have Children

    | Reading, Berkshire, UK | Top

    (A man comes in with about 4 children running about behind him. He comes up to the counter.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah…I’m looking for some *whispers*…porn.”

    Me: “You mean adult movies?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I guess.”

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t stock those here.”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “There are some stores in the town centre. Perhaps you can try there?”

    Customer: “I want some porn now! What kind of store is this?”

    Me: “I apologise, but we don’t stock adult movies.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous, I only want to watch some porn with my wife.”

    Me: “Sorry, this is a family store.”

    Customer: “MAYBE IT’S FOR THE KIDS TOO! ”

    (Customer storms out with all 4 children jumping around behind him as I stand there dumbfounded.)

    A Bad Day To Be A Pair Of Jeans

    , | Corbin, KY, USA | Health & Body, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (It was about 5 minutes to closing on a Saturday night and we had maybe 5-6 employees working all female. A new bar had just opened next door, and a drunk man wandered in.)

    Drunk Man: “I need to buy some matches.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir. We don’t sell matches–only clothes.”

    Drunk Man: “Well, then sell me a lighter. I need a cigarette.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t sell lighters or matches, just clothes.”

    Drunk Man: “D*mn it, just give me one.”

    Me: “I don’t have one, sir, or trust me I would.”

    Drunk Man: “You lying b**ch! Give me a f**king match you b**ch!”

    Me: “Sir, you need to leave or I’m calling the police. We don’t have lighters or matches. I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.”

    Drunk Man: “I’ll get it myself!”

    (He storms off toward the men’s department. I call my co-worker in that department, then call the manager to give them a heads up. A few minutes later the man goes running out (empty handed) and my co-worker is racing after him. She grabs my phone and starts screaming over the intercom for our manager. I asked her what happened.)

    Coworker: “He pissed all over the Levis!”

    Fighting Crazy With Crazy

    | Texas, USA | Top

    (Keep in mind that I’m male with a deep voice. We do not send techs to troubleshoot; troubleshooting has to be done on the phone, then we send a tech to replace parts.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling ***. How may I–”

    Customer: “Send me a tech to fix my computer.”

    Me: “Well, what’s wrong with it?”

    Customer: “It’s not working!”

    Me: “Well, ok, but in order to get it working again, I would need to know what exactly is wrong.”

    Customer: “I just told you it’s not working. Send me a tech to fix it!”

    Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. I can help you perform some troubleshooting and–”

    Customer: “Why the f**k can’t you just send me a tech?”

    Me: “Well, like I said, I can’t do that. All I can do is troubleshoot with you on the phone to find out what’s wrong and then–”

    Customer: “WELL THAT’S GREAT, A**HOLE! I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY! SEND ME A TECH, NOW!”

    Me, fake crying: “Why? Why do you hate me so much? Don’t you know how hard it is for a single mom with 5 kids to make a living?” *sob*

    Customer: “???” *hangs up*

    (I got written up for that. It was totally worth it though!)

    Customer To The Rescue

    | Boone, IA, USA | Top

    (I was currently working in the electronics section of a discount super store, who’s favorite color use to be blue, when I was approached by a customer, which was surprising since the state was being hit by a significantly large ice storm.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to pick up my pictures.”

    Me: “Hmm…it seems they aren’t in yet, when did you send them out?”

    Customer: *very angry* “They were supposed to be in today!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the lab where they are processed is hours away and its too dangerous for the drivers to be out on the roads today.”

    Customer: “Well I made it, how come they can’t?”

    Me: “Sir, you live on the street behind the building, which is a much shorter and safer distance compared to the over 120 miles the driver would have to drive, especially on roads that not even emergency vehicles won’t go onto.”

    Customer: “I was told my pictures were going to be back today, and I want them today!”

    (I’m about to apologize to the man but am beaten to the punch by the customer behind him…)

    Customer #2: “Yeah! You guys should have dog sleds on the side just in case.”

    Original Customer: “Don’t be ridiculous!”

    Customer #2: *in a very apologetic tone* “I’m sorry, I thought it was my turn to make insane demands.”

    Original Customer: *storms off talking to the air about how rude people are*

    Customer #2: “That was fun!” *walks away*

    (Unfortunately, I never got to thank that second customer. Wherever you are Customer #2, thank you.)

    Related:
    We Need One Of These In Every Store

    Page 334/359First...332333334335336...Last