Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (2,013 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Top

    Crazy To Go

    | Hawaii, USA | Top

    (Late night in a very crowded restaurant, a lady cuts in front of me and stands in the well, blocking me from getting my drinks for my tables.)

    Bartender: “Ma’am, you cant stand there. Please move over to the side and I will help you.”

    Lady: “I just want to get some food to go.”

    Bartender: “Ma’am, please move over to the side of the bar and I can help you.”

    Lady: “Can I get some food to go?”

    (At this point there are three servers who are now blocked from getting their drinks from the well.)

    Bartender: “Ma’am, we only do take-out orders from 5:00-6:00, or an hour before closing.”

    Lady: *blank stare*

    Me: “Excuse me, may I squeeze by you? I have to get my drinks for my tables.”

    Lady: *turns to me* “I want to order some food to go!”

    Me: “We only do food to go from 5-6. Or an hour before closing.”

    Lady: “What? I need to get some food to go!”

    Bartender: “Lady! You need to move out of the service well! I can’t get you any food to go right now!”

    Lady: “But… but… I need to order some food…”

    Me: “Right. Food to go. But we dont do that right now.”

    Lady: “Why not?”

    Other blocked servers: “Are you f**king kidding me?”

    Bartender: “Ma’am, if you will please just move to the side, I will ask if we can get you some food to go.”

    Lady: “Thank you. I dont understand what’s wrong with you people!”

    Me: “Ma’am, can you please scoot over? Please?”

    Lady: “I’m not going anywhere until I get my food to go!”

    Manager: “Is there a problem?”

    Lady: “I’m trying to order food to go and your crappy staff won’t help me!

    Manager: “Well, we don’t do food to go right now.”

    Lady: “This is bulls**t! I’ll have your f**king job! I want my food to go NOW!”

    Manager: “Why don’t you get the hell out of here right now before I call the police?”

    (She stormed out and the entire bar started cheering and clapping.)

    Fine, We’ll Just Shout And Yell

    , | Dallas, TX, USA | Top

    Customer: “I think it’s very rude for you to talk on your cellphone while you’re at work.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, this isn’t a cellphone; it’s a headset. We use them to communicate with the other employees.”

    Customer: “That’s VERY rude.”

    Why Catch-22 Needs To Be Required Reading

    | California, USA | Top

    Customer: “I bought a computer from you guys not 3 weeks ago, and my internet isn’t working.”

    Me: “Well the computer itself seems to be operating perfectly…”

    Customer: “It is NOT working perfectly. I cannot get on the internet. ”

    Me: “I understand that; I just mean while the internet itself isn’t working, your computer is functioning properly.”

    Customer: “My computer is worthless without internet.”

    (Company policy is to direct her to her ISP for further assistance. So I try to get that info from her so I can give her a proper phone number.)

    Customer: “Why don’t you just fix it?”

    Me: “I’ve run out of things we can try.”

    Customer: “What is the ISP going to do?”

    Me: “They’ll walk you through a few things or at least tell you if there is an outage or other problems in your area.”

    Customer: “I bought this computer from YOU and YOU should be the ones fixing it.”

    Me: “It’s not the computer, it’s the internet. Unfortunately we’re not your internet provider. There’s really nothing more I can do for you.”

    Customer: “How much do you charge for internet?”

    Me: “We do not sell internet.”

    Customer: “Than who do I buy my internet from?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Verizon, perhaps?”

    Customer: “I suppose I should order some internet.”

    Me: “…you haven’t even signed up for it yet!?”

    Customer: “I wanted to do it on the internet.”

    Me: *head explodes*

    Brown-Skinned Savage, I Come From Distant Shores

    | Reno, NV, USA | Geography, Top

    (I was called by the cashier to help an elderly lady out to her car. As I was loading the trunk, she says…)

    Elderly Customer: “How do you say it? Muchas gracious?”

    Me: “Um, I’m not Hispanic.”

    Elderly Customer: “Oh, really? Where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m actually from Bangladesh.”

    Elderly Customer: “Really? Is that near Mexico?”

    Me: “No… it’s actually right next to India.”

    Elderly Customer: “Oh, I see…”

    (I finish loading her trunk.)

    Elderly Customer: “Thanks and aaadios!”

    Me: “…”

    Just Wait ‘Till He Meets The Dwarves In The Urinals

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Top

    Man: “Hey! I put my card in the ATM machine over there and put in my numbers, but it won’t give me any money. Does that even make any sense?”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, the ATM is owned by that bank. You’ll have to call them.”

    Man: “Oh, you would say that!”

    Me: “If you’d like, sir, I can try to give you cash back here at my register, but I cannot access your bank information.”

    Man: “I mean, I go to my bank and I can get out money just fine, but here… it won’t even work. I mean, does that make any sense?”

    Me: “Would you like me to call my manager for you, sir?”

    Man: “Oh, you’d try to save your job, wouldn’t you!”

    (And then it gets weird…)

    Man: “Wait!” *points at ceiling* “There used to be windows there! You people boarded them up!”

    Me: “WHAT?”

    Man: “Yeah! YEAH! The guys on the computers! I bet you have them up there watching me and keeping me from getting my money!”

    Me: *laughing* “Um, sir, there are no people living in our walls. Go to your bank, and have a nice day!”

    Man: *grumbles and leaves, turning back to look at the ceiling every few steps*

    (From that point on, my co-workers who witnessed this blame everything on the ‘people in the walls’.)


    Page 314/349First...312313314315316...Last