Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6
    (2,718 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Top

    Water You, Stupid

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Top

    (While passing through airport security, a passenger’s bag needs to be pulled because the x-ray operator sees an obvious big bottle of water when the limit is 3.4 oz.)

    Me: “Whose bag is this?”

    Passenger: “Oh! Oh! Oohhh! It’s mine! Is there something wrong?”

    Me: “I just need to take a quick look inside, ma’am. This shouldn’t take more than a couple of minutes.”

    Passenger: “Well, hurry. I think they’re boarding my plane.”

    (I open her bag and find the bottle almost immediately. She gasps as I pull it out.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid you cannot have this beyond this point.”

    Passenger: “Why not? I just bought it, and it’s unopened!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the rules clearly state that you cannot have any liquids over 3.4 oz in your carry on. If you’d like to, you could–”

    Passenger: “But that’s not a liquid!”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Passenger: “It’s not a liquid! It’s water! W-A-T-E-R! You know, H-2-O? For the love of God, don’t they hire anyone with more than a grade school education for security?”

    iPod, Meet iDiet

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Top

    (I’ve just spent about 10 minutes answering fairly standard questions from a customer about an iPod. Then, they asked this one…)

    Customer: “Oh, before you leave I have one more question!”

    Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “Will the iPod get heavier if I put more songs on it?”

    Me: “No…?”

    (I was so dumbfounded I didn’t realize how stupid the question actually was until 10 minutes later.)

    Bad Customer Tip #103: Pull A Clark Kent

    , | Buenos Aires, Argentina | Top

    (A man on his mid-forties shoves a DVD case on the counter, while yelling at me. Keep in mind that I’m wearing glasses.)

    Customer: “This DVD doesn’t work, G** D***it! I want a refund!”

    Me: “Okay… what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I don’t know, it doesn’t work!”

    (I open the case and check the surface of the DVD. It was so scratched that it was nearly white instead of purple, and it even had a dry fingerprint of something that looked like peanut butter.)

    Me: “Um… sir?”

    Customer: “WHAT?!”

    Me: “I can’t give you a refund for a product that has been damaged by the customer.”

    Customer: What?! The disc is fine! I want a refund!”

    Me: “Sir, the disc is damaged, and I cannot give you a refund.”

    Customer: “I want to speak to the manager!”

    Me: “Of course.”

    (I walk away to the back of the store, take off my glasses, and walk to the counter again.)

    Me: “Yes, what is the problem?”

    Customer: “YOUR POOR EXCUSE FOR A SALESMAN WON’T–”

    (He suddenly figures it out.)

    Customer: “F*** THIS S***!” *continues swearing while he storms out of the store*

    The Inadvertent Thief

    | Northern Ireland, UK | Top

    Lady: “Do you sell aloe vera gel?”

    Me: “No, I’m afraid we don’t, but you might be able to get it at [store] down the street.”

    Lady: “Oh, great, thanks.”

    (She leaves and ten minutes later returns wielding a tube, looking irritated.)

    Me: “Hello again, did you manage to find it okay?”

    Lady: “No! You told me they had aloe vera gel! All they had is the cream! I don’t want the cream!”

    Me: “Um… you didn’t want the cream but you bought it anyway?”

    Lady: “No, of course I didn’t BUY–”

    (She suddenly stops and looks at the tube in her hand. Her expression turns to horror and she legs it back out the door. My coworkers and I laughed for a good ten minutes at that one.)

    Talk About Creepy

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Top

    (It’s 3:30 am, and a hotel guest wanders into the back office that is clearly marked for staff only…)

    Guest: “My phone isn’t working. I need to call someone… it’s really important.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You can’t be back here. Please go back into the lobby and I will reset your phone line.”

    Guest: *points at a chair* “Can’t I sit here?”

    Me: “No. Go back out into the lobby, right now.”

    Guest: *sits down* “I came here with a girl and she left me. Now I need to call for another girl.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, really, but you can’t sit here. You can’t be back here. Please, go back into the lobby.”

    Guest: *gets up* “Sorry. I’m upset.”

    Me: “Give me a minute and I’ll reset your phone line and then call your room to see if it goes through.”

    (I reset his phone and call his room. He leaves, only to come back 5 minutes later.)

    Guest: “It still isn’t working. I’m really unhappy. Do you know where I can get a prostitute?”

    Me: “I’m sure if you walk outside on the street and go to the corner you can find one, but you can’t bring her back here.”

    Guest: “That isn’t safe.”

    Me: “I’m sorry… I can’t help you, sir.”

    Guest: “Are you a prostitute?”

    Me: “No!”

    Guest: “I’ll pay you $160.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not a prostitute, and I’m going to call security.”

    Guest: “No, you won’t. You’re a prostitute. How about $280? How much do men normally pay?”

    Me: “Do I look like a prostitute? I’m a receptionist. I do paperwork and check people in. I don’t sleep with them.”

    Guest: “All of the girls that I know who are receptionists at night are prostitutes.”

    Me: “Well, I’m not. Can you please go back to your room?!”

    Guest: “I’m from Miami.”

    Me: “Good. Can you please go back to your room?”

    Guest: “Fine. Tomorrow I’m going to complain about the service here!”

    Me: “… because I won’t sleep with you for money?”

    Guest: “Will you just come sleep with me? I just need thirty minutes.”

    Me: “No.”

    Guest: “I’m talking to the manager tomorrow.”

    Me: “That’s fine, sir. Good luck…”

    (He finally leaves, and I make a note of this encounter. I discover the next day that he was refunded $20 due to my poor service. I have no idea what he told the receptionist when he checked out, but she clearly didn’t read my note!)


    Page 302/345First...300301302303304...Last