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    A Penny Saved Is A Penny Spurned

    | Charlotte, NC, USA | Top

    (I worked at a upscale grocery store. We had recently ordered new price labels for the shelves and some of them had come in with the wrong price. We had turned these tags backwards on the shelves so that they could not be seen by the customers to prevent confusion.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, son.

    Me: “Yes ma’am, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “The milk is marked a different price than this tag says.”

    Me: “I am sorry about that ma’am, those are new tags and some of them have old prices on them. If you give it to me I’ll take care of it.”

    (Customer hands me the tag, I place it on the mount backwards so it cannot be read without removing it.)

    Customer: “What are you doing?”

    Me: “We have been placing all the incorrect tags backwards on the shelves so that when the manager does his walk around he can know which ones he needs to re-order.”

    Customer: “Well it was like that before. That’s why I turned it around.”

    Me: “Ahh… I’m sorry for the confusion. These tags are backwards because they are incorrect. The price marked on the items is the correct one.”

    Customer: “But I want the price on the tag, it’s less.”

    Me: “Ma’am there is only one cent difference.”

    Customer: “Yes, and I want it for the cheaper price.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am I am only a clerk, I can’t change the price for you. If you would like, I can get the manager.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! You have to give me the cheaper price. I can’t afford to be nickel and dimed by you thieves.”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I told you, I will get the manager and he can give you the discount.”

    Customer: “Good, cause I can’t afford to pay the higher price.”

    (Manager has hear the commotion and walks up behind the customer.)

    Manager: ¬†”Ma’am, is there an issue?”

    Customer: “Yes, your clerk is trying to charge me more for this than the tag says it should cost.”

    Manager: “Ma’am, that tag was reversed because it was incorrect. How much is the difference so I can tell the cashier when you check out?”

    Customer: “The shelf says $2.12, but the bottle says $2.13.”

    Manager: “You called me over here over one cent? You have $400 worth of steaks in your cart, and you call me over here because you have to pay one cent extra for your milk?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    (Manager hands the customer a penny and walks off.)

    Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

    You’re Only As Old As You Act

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Top

    (An elderly woman well into her 70s comes through the check-out line with a single bottle of wine. I start to scan the bottle through.)

    Customer: “Wait! Aren’t you going to check my ID?”

    Me: “Er, no, ma’am, I don’t think it’s really necessary…”

    Customer: “Well, that’s no good! You should check all ID if you’re selling alcohol.”

    Me: “Well, okay. May I see your ID, please?”

    (She hands over an ID card that is obviously fake.)

    Me: “…ma’am, this card says you’re seventeen.”

    Customer: “Oh, dear! You’ve caught me! I’m much too young to be buying this! It’s a good thing you were checking IDs. I’d better just go now! *skips out the door*

    Me: “…”

    That Hot Tub Had Better Be Filled With Spermicide

    | Albany, NY, USA | Top

    (A woman comes in walking with her daughter trailing behind her and cuts in front on several people.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but someone here yesterday told my 15 year old daughter she was pregnant and I would like to complain.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can straighten this out. If you wouldn’t mind waiting in line, these people were–”

    Customer: “This won’t take long. I just need you to apologize for lying!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I didn’t diagnose your daughter so if–”

    Customer: “She can’t be pregnant, she’s 15 AND a virgin. She’s waiting until marriage so unless this is the immaculate conception, I’m going to need an apology.”

    Me: “Ma’am, like I said, I did not personally–”

    Customer: “How hard is it to get an apology here!?! YOU CANNOT JUST GO AROUND TELLING YOUNG GIRLS THEY ARE PREGNANT! THIS IS WHY THE TEEN PREGNANCY RATES ARE SO HIGH, YOU KNOW!

    Me: “Ma’am, it doesn’t quite work like that. Now, if you could just–”

    Customer: “All I want is an apology. My daughter has been traumatized!”

    Me: “Fine, I’ll call the doctor and I’ll see if he can speak to you for a moment.”

    Customer: “Tell him to get his butt down here right away, too. My daughter had to leave her boyfriend in the hot tub!”

    Victoria’s Secret Is Out

    | Texas, USA | Top

    Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to return this.” *pulls out a bra from a bag*

    Me: “Ok, is there something wrong with it?”

    Customer: Well yeah, duh. I wouldn’t be returning it if it was fine, would I?!”

    Me: “Ok – what is the reason you are returning it?”

    Customer: “It squeaks…”

    Me: “The bra…? The bra squeaks?”

    Customer: “Yes, it makes noises.”

    Me: “The bra makes noises?”

    (By this time everyone standing in line starts laughing at her and making comments.)

    Customer: “Shut up! Don’t you dare laugh at me – inferior creatures!”

    (People in line now really start to laugh.)

    Me: “Ok ma’am, I’m really sorry the bra makes noises, but I cannot return this, you’ve worn it. You can’t return an–”

    Customer: *interrupting* “LORD! Give me patience! Or I will strangle this creature of yours! Now, Mr. A**hole, you are going to give me my money back for this thing. I cannot be walking around with a talking bra on me – people will think I’m nuts!”

    Hulk Smash Bagels

    , | California, USA | Top

    (I am cashier at a small cafe in California. Two tourists, a man and his teenage son, walk into the cafe. His son decides what he wants and his father starts yelling at him.)

    Me: “Sir, what’s wrong? Something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Can you get me a sandwich and a soda? Oh, and get this guy some soup.”

    Customer’s son: “Dad, I don’t want some soup! I just want a bagel!”

    Customer: “SON, YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO ME WHEN YOU EAT BAGELS! YOU KNOW IT BRINGS BAD MEMORIES!” *storms out*

    Customer’s son: “Dad!” *runs after him*

    (From that day onward, I always suggested the soup.)


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