November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Top

And You Thought The ED Commercials Were Bad

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Top

(Note: I’m helping a male customer find an IDE cable for his PC.)

Me: “…and the cables are right here.”

Customer: “This is for a full tower case. What’s the longest cable you have?”

(I measure the largest cable I can find. I think it was 20 inches.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s a bit too short.”

Me: “Sorry, that’s the longest I have. What sort of length were you looking for? I might be able to order something…”

Customer: “I need about 22 inches. That’s the story of my life…always two inches too short!”

Me: *chuckles*

Customer: *turns bright red and leaves in a hurry*

Double Your Solar, Double Your Fun

| Norway | Top

(I had a job on a boat, taking tourists out to sea so they could take really nice pictures of the midnight sun. One day, one of the tourists came up to me.)

Me: “What do you think of the midnight sun?”

Tourist: “Yeah, it’s really nice, but tell me one thing. On the map of our solar system, where is the midnight sun located?”

Me: “Er…the sun?”

Tourist: “No! I know where the sun is, but where is the midnight sun?”

Me: “The midnight sun and the sun are exactly the same, but when you are as far north as you are now, and since it’s summer, the sun never sets.”

Tourist: “WHAT THE F***?! I’m gonna sue your sorry a** for false advertisement! I didn’t come all the way from the US to watch the sun I have back home! *storms away*

Chernobyl Over Ciabatta

| Missouri, USA | Top

(Woman comes to my coworkers drawer and orders a loaf of ciabatta bread. Coworker rings it up and hands it to her.)

Customer: “This isn’t a loaf of ciabatta.”

Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, that’s our ciabatta.”

Customer: “No, this is NOT ciabatta! You don’t know what you’re talking about! I know a loaf of ciabatta when I see one!”

Me: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes! I ordered a loaf of ciabatta, and this is not a loaf of ciabatta!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that is a loaf. See, here…it says ‘Ciabatta loaf’.”

Customer: “No, this is ridiculous! This is not a loaf of ciabatta!”

(At this point, the customer is hysterical, near tears, and waving the bread wildly.)

Me: “Let me get you a manager to speak to…” *gets the manager*

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “I ordered a ciabatta loaf and these kids are trying to sell me THIS!”

Manager: “That is our loaf of ciabatta. When is the last time you visited our store?”

Customer: “About a year ago.”

Manager: “Ah, that’s why. We changed the size of our loaf about six months ago.”

Customer: “Thank you! Now why couldn’t you tell me that?!” *points at me*

Manager: “She’s only been here two months. She wouldn’t have known.”

Customer: “PATHETIC!” *pays for bread and storms out*

Next customer: *shocked look* “Wow.”

That’s One Heckuva Mega-Bite

| Austin, TX, USA | Top

Me: “So you want to return the game then, right?”

Customer: “Yeah, and I wanna make sure I’m covered by the warranty.”

Me: “You should be, as you purchased the game within 90 days.”

Customer:“Okay, but let’s say that there are bite marks on the CD. Would the warranty still cover that?”

Me: “…I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “I may have become a little upset when I couldn’t install the game and I might have chewed on the disc a bit…”

The Offend-O-Bot 3000 Strikes Again

| Orlando, FL, USA | Top

(An old man walks into the lobby.)

Me: “Hi, how are you doing?”

Customer: “Everyone I can.”

Me: “…”

(The customer pulls out a cigar, lights it, then ashes it on the counter.)

Me: “You can’t smoke a cigar in here.”

Customer: “That’s what she said.”

Me: “…”