Ice Cream Shop | California
Customer, upon receiving her Moolatte: “This has a round lid, can I have a flat lid?”
Me: “I’m sorry, the only lid that fits that cup is a dome lid.”
Customer: “But I want a flat lid, Starbucks always gets me a flat lid! Why can’t you?!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the flat lids we have won’t fit that cup.”
Customer: “I want to speak with your manager.” *mutters* “Stupid kids…”
(I go and get my manager)
Manager: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”
Customer: “This stupid employee of yours won’t give me a flat lid!” *brandishes the drink in his face*
(My manager takes one of every single lid in the store and puts them in front of her)
Manager: “Go ahead then.”
Customer: *proceeds to try and put the lids on the cup, none of which fit* “This is ridiculous! Why don’t you have a flat lid?! Starbucks always has a flat lid!!”
Manager: “Then go buy your drinks there and leave my employees alone.”
Frozen Yogurt Shop | Pasadena, CA
Customer: “Are you Hispanic?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Middle Eastern?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Egyptian?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “What are you?”
Me: “Chinese.”
(customer puts on offended face)
Customer: “I don’t appreciate you treating me like I’m dumb.”
Me: “Excuse me? I’m being honest.”
Customer: “NO CHINESE PERSON WOULD EVER HAVE EYES AS BIG AS YOURS!!!”
Me: *mouth wide open*
Travel Store | Unknown Location
Travel Store Customer: “Do you have any globes that have the United States bigger? I don’t need all this Africa, I just really want the US and Europe.”
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Electronics Store | Toronto, Canada
Trainee: “Hey, this woman would like to buy an iPod Touch. But she’s asking for a discount.”
Me, to the lady customer: “Hi, so you’re interested in an iPod Touch?”
Customer: “Discount?”
Me: “Sorry, I can’t offer anything below our tagged price. It already has a guaranteed low price.”
Customer: “Discount?”
Me: “If you’re worried about money, you can choose to apply for a *** card (store’s credit card). With it you can buy this iPod Touch and have three months to pay interest-free.”
Customer: “Okay, so I get a card and get a discount?”
Me: “No, but you have three months to pay.”
Customer: “What’s the price in three months?”
Me: “It’s the same price as now.”
Customer: “Okay. What’s the price after the three months?”
Me: “It is the exact same price as you see here now. But with the card you get three months to pay for it.”
Customer: “Discount?”
Me: “Okay, let’s ring this up for you.”
Clothing Retailer | San Francisco, CA
Customer: “Hi, I’ve been here for 15 minutes and I’m trying to find the Ben Sherman shirts.”
Me: (Looks behind her and points) “Ma’am, it’s right behind you.”
Customer: (Turns around) “No, I’m looking for Ben Sherman shirts.”
Me: “Ma’am, the Ben Sherman items are right behind you; there are tons of shirts on the racks right there.”
Customer: “Oh! Do they have any shirts?”
Me: (Deep sigh) “What kind of shirts are you looking for?”
Customer: “I don’t know, any kind as long as they’re Ben Sherman.”
Me: “Button downs? Polos? T-shirts?”
Customer: “You know what, I’m just gonna find someone else to help me.”
Bookstore | Sacramento, CA
Bookstore Customer: “Do people donate all these books to you?”
Me: “Yes. We show up for work every morning and there are boxes of valuable books sitting at the front door.”
Bookstore Customer: “Wow, really! I could open a book store?”
Me: “Sure!”
Bookstore Customer: “If I opened a store, how would people know where to leave the books?”
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Coffee Shop | Florida, USA
Me: “Would you like regular ice or ice made from coffee?”
Customer: “What is ice made from coffee?”
Me: “It’s … ice … made from … coffee.”
Customer: *stare*
Me: “Frozen coffee?”
Customer: “Um… Why?”
Me: “Regular ice then. I’ll have that out in just a moment.”
Bookstore | Philadelphia, PA
Customer: “Do you have that book from that movie Les Miserababah?”
Me: “Les Miserables? Yes it would be on the 3rd floor.”
Customer: “What section would it be in?”
Me: “The fiction section.”
Customer: “So nonfiction is true, and fiction is not true, right?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “How can this book be fiction if there is a movie about it?”
Me: “Movies are not true.”
Customer: “Really?”
Me: “Yes. Movies are not true, movies are fiction.”
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Pizza | USA
Old man: “Well, I’d like 3 slices, all meat and a Coke.”
Me: “Is Pepsi okay? We don’t serve Coke anymore.”
Old man: “WHAT?!?!?!?!? YOU DON’T SERVE COKE? ANYMORE? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?”
Me: “Well, we used to sell both brands. It was just far too expensive to keep both stocked when most people aren’t devastated by not having Coke.”
Old man: “THAT’S ABSURD! WHO DOESN’T SELL COKE! THAT’S INSANITY!”
Me: (at this point, I’m egging him on and holding back laughter) “Well…you can go next door. The convenience store probably sells Coke, but I can’t guarantee it.”
Old man: “That’s what I’ll do! You won’t get my $0.75!”
Me: “Umm…okay. I’ll have your pizza in just a minute.”
His wife: “Don’t mind him. He’s crazy.”
Old man: “Shut it! What kind of a day and age is it when you don’t sell Coke? It’s just plain un-American.”
Me: “…you know Coke cans are red. Like communism. ”
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Ice Cream Shop | USA
Customer in an ice cream shop: “Wait, your mint ice cream is white?”
Me: “That’s right. We don’t use artificial colors in our ice cream.”
Customer: “So shouldn’t your Orange Cream ice cream be green, since oranges are green?”
Me: “Blurgh!?”
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