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    A Plate Of Justice With Extra Dressing

    | UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a cashier at a shop that specializes in fine clothing, like for proms and weddings. As such we have MANY white dresses made from materials that are easily soiled.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Bridal Store]. How may I help you?”

    Mother: “I just wanted to see what kind of dresses you have. I’m getting married soon.”

    Me: “Congratulations! My supervisor is just over there, and she can help you out with anything you need.”

    (At this point, I notice that a small boy followed her in, and he is carrying one of those family-sized bags of cheesy snacks. I can immediately predict this turning sour.)

    Me: “Ma’am, if you’d like, we have a room in the back that your son can play in. We have a selection of toys and movies that he may like.”

    Mother: “It’ll be fine. [Son] is a dearie, and he won’t mess anything up.”

    (I just shrug it off, but try to keep an eye on the little boy. My attention is diverted by a lady purchasing a bow tie for her husband. By the time I am done with her, the little boy is nowhere to be seen, and I assume that he has gotten bored and gone into the room to play. After a while, the lady comes back up with a layaway check and a girdle.)

    Me: “Thank you for making us your choice for your wedding dress. Your total is [total].”

    Mother: “You haven’t seen my son, have you?”

    Me: “He’s probably in the room in the back. You’re welcome to go back there if you’d like.”

    Mother: “I’ll get him after I’m done here.”

    (She proceeds to finish her order, gets her son, and leaves. I still feel uneasy about the little boy with the big bag of food.)

    Me: “[Owner], I’m going to check inventory. I kinda feel off about that little boy.

    (I get up and start searching the dresses, and find at least a half dozen dresses of varying styles and colors, a bunch of tablecloths, and even the dressing room mirrors with nice, smeary orange hand prints. I gather the dresses and cloths up and show them to my boss.)

    Owner: *takes one look* “Put them with her dress in layaway. She just chose her bridesmaid dresses.”

    (She later came back and tried to contest the extra dresses, claiming that they’re “not the ones she wanted,” and even threatened to report us to our local Better Business Bureau for “framing her innocent child.” Regardless, none of it worked. As a final attempt to make us feel bad, she gave us a picture of her bridesmaids and her wearing all those soiled dresses. We framed it.)

    Will Pay For That Later

    | ND, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (I’m making a big coupon trip to a big-box retailer, a really big trip I’ve been planning for the better part of a week. I have a couple hundred items in my cart, and just as many coupons that need to be scanned. As the cashier starts scanning, I let anyone who gets in line behind me know that I have a lot of coupons and that my checkout will take a while so they might want to get in another line. They all decide to go to another line, until…)

    Me: “I’ve got a few hundred coupons that are going to need to be scanned after he’s done ringing up my items.” *waves big stack of coupons* “So this will be a while. You might want to get in another line.”

    Customer: “Don’t tell me what to do. This register has the shortest line. I’m checking out here.”

    Me: “All right, just wanted to let you know the coupons were going to take a bit to scan.”

    (In a few minutes, the cashier has finished ringing up all my items.)

    Cashier: “Your total is $1,760.43.”

    Me: “Okay. Here are my coupons.”

    (The customer behind me groans loudly and mutters something about ‘people who can’t afford to just buy things.’ As the cashier continues to scan my coupons, she gets more pissed off and more impatient.)

    Me: “I’m sorry this is taking so long. This is why I suggested you might want to get in another line.”

    Customer: “YOU should have gotten in another line, you dumb b****! I don’t know who the f*** you coupon b****es think you are, making those of us who work for a living wait for you so you can get 50 cents off your stupid crap. You’re just wasting my time, you stupid b****!”

    (The rant continues while the cashier continues to scan my coupons. The cashier and I just roll our eyes at each other about the woman’s behavior and let her rant at us. Finally, after about 15 minutes, the cashier scans the final coupon and announces my savings.)

    Cashier: “All right, so from $1,760, you’re down to $132.73, and you’ve earned $245 in gift cards. Thank you for shopping at [Store]!”

    Me: “Thank you for your patience. Have a great day!”

    (I grab my bags and start to head out when the woman behind me yells for me. I turn.)

    Customer: “So, do you, like, teach people how to do this?”

    Me: “Yes, I absolutely do, but dumb coupon b****es like me shouldn’t take up the time of people who work for a living like you, so I wouldn’t be able to help you. Enjoy paying for your things!”

    Hired And Fired And Tired

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I’m shopping at a large electronics store. I’m dressed casually in a blue graphic tee which, if you aren’t paying attention, for a second might look like what the employees wear.)

    Other Customer: “I need you to find this for me.”

    (I don’t respond as I am not aware that she is talking to me. I am reading the specs on the back of a box. The other customer then shoves an opened item in my hands on top of the box I am holding.)

    Me: “What the h***?!”

    Other Customer: “HELLO?! FIND this for me.”

    Me: *hands it back to her* “I don’t work here. Work on your manners, lady.”

    Other Customer: *she just stares at me for a minute* “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!”

    (I just shake my head and start walking away. She is really getting on my nerves.)

    Other Customer: *following me* “STOP RIGHT THERE! You are NOT allowed to talk to paying customers that way!”

    Me: “I’M a paying customer. I don’t work here! Go away!”

    Other Customer: “I want to talk to your manager! You need to be fired for your attitude.”

    Me: “They can’t fire me if I don’t work here. Stop following me!”

    (At this point, other people are staring, laughing at the lady, and sharing sympathetic looks with me.)

    Other Customer: “Oh, we’ll see about that!”

    (A manager steps in as this lady has made a scene in the store and a lot of people have taken notice.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

    Other Customer: “This b**** is giving me the worst attitude! I have never been treated so badly in all my life!”

    Me: “And this psycho keeps following me around thinking I work here! I keep telling her I don’t work here!”

    Other Customer: “You won’t be working here if you keep up your b****y attitude!”

    (The manager is clearly very uncomfortable.)

    Manager: “Uh, ma’am, she doesn’t actually work here.”

    Other Customer: “You need to handle this! Fire this b**** immediately!”

    (The manager looks around at the customers and employees who have gathered at a safe distance and are snickering at the scene. He looks at me and shrugs.)

    Manager: *to me* “Uh… You’re fired, ma’am?”

    Me: *dramatically and smiling* “YOU CAN’T FIRE ME BEFORE YOU’VE EVEN HIRED ME!”

    Manager: *smiling* “I’d like to offer you a job as an associate. Awesome pay and benefits?”

    Me: “I’ll TAKE it!”

    Manager: “You’re fired.”

    Me: “NOOOOOOO! How could you?!”

    (The crowd starts laughing.)

    Other Customer: “Are you MOCKING me?!”

    Me: “He’s just giving you what you demanded. Now quit bothering me.”

    (She turned bright red and stormed out of the store without another word.)

    Retort Against Those Who Extort

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Home Improvement, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (My mother is in her 70s, and is shopping at a thrift store when she spots a beautiful bamboo bookcase.)

    Clerk: “Hi. Do you need some help?”

    Mom: “I am interested in the shelf, but have to go home first and do some measuring.”

    Clerk: “No problem; I’ll make sure it’s still here when you get back.”

    (After getting home, measuring, and seeing it will fit, she calls me to ask if I can go with her to pick it up if it was still there. We get to the store, where she walks over to the bookshelf and shows me. About a second later, a customer immediately walks up to us.)

    Customer: “I’m actually buying this shelf… but how much would you be willing to give me NOT to buy this?”

    (My mom and I looked at each other in disbelief, and before I can even think of what to say to this idiot, the clerk from earlier immediately steps in:)

    Clerk: “Sorry, sir. This lady was here earlier and was going to buy it, but she had to run home and take measurements first.”.

    Customer: “Well, that’s not fair. I was just ready to buy this!”

    Clerk: “Sorry. She gets first pick.”

    Mom: *looking at the customer with a big grin* “And I decided I’ll take it.”

    Clerk: *with an even bigger grin* “Let me go ahead and ring you up, and you also get a senior discount!”

    (We spent the next few minutes cashing out while the customer just stood there and stared at us the whole time, and then stood out in the parking lot and kept staring at us (with a butt-hurt look) while I loaded it on the car, pausing here and there to give him a big ‘f*** you’ grin. Thank you, awesome clerk, for putting that a**-hole in his place for trying to extort money from the elderly!)

    De-Engineering Stereotypes

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Bigotry, Technology, Top

    (I am an engineer working the tech support line. I should also add that I’m the only female engineer in a department of all male engineers. I answer a support call:)

    Me: “Thank you for calling the engineering support line. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need to talk to an engineer.”

    Me: “Sure, what’s your question?”

    Customer: “Well, I’d like to tell it to an engineer.”

    Me: “No problem, what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I want to speak directly to the engineer.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m an engineer.”

    Customer: “You are?!”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “But… you’re a girl!”

    Me:  *in a Valley Girl voice* “‘Ohmygosh, I know! Isn’t that amazing?”

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