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    Category: Top

    No Good Need Goes Unpunished

    | Oregon, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (A customer comes into our coffee shop and stares forlornly at the gum on display. She often comes into the shop to get some ice to chew on, but nothing else. Feeling sorry for her, I decide to help her out.)

    Me: “Here, let me get that for you.”

    (I reach into my tip jar and pay for the gum with my own money.)

    Customer: *takes the gum* “So…where’s my change?!”

    Me: *speechless*

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    Inexorably Inconsiderate

    Even The Bank Of Dad Has Gone Under

    | New Orleans, LA, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (A dad and his three kids who are all around 7 or 8 years old is my checkout line. He is buying four six packs of tall cans of liquor.)

    Me: “That will be $26.”

    Dad: “Okay.” *pulls money out of his pockets* “Shoot, I only have $20.”

    (He turns to one of his kids.)

    Dad: “Yo, lend me six bucks.”

    Kid: “S***, get your own money!”

    Dad: “Come on, I just need six more dollars.”

    Kid: F*** you.”

    Dad: “Hey, come on! I’ll pay you back when we get home!”

    Kid: *hands him some money and mumbles* “Broke a** motherf***er.”

    We Can See Through Your Whine

    | Margarita, Venezuela | Food & Drink, Top

    Me: “Evening! Welcome to [restaurant]. How can I serve you?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry, I don’t see the Californian wine in the menu.”

    Me: “That’s because we don’t have it, miss.”

    Customer: “And why is that, exactly? I am a wine lover. The Californian wine is the very best and I only drink the very best.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, because the Californian wine has a very low demand in this country, it is extremely hard to find. We have Chilean and Argentinian wine, if you like.”

    Customer: “All right. I guess i’ll have to adjust to your low standards. Give me a bottle of the Chilean.”

    Me: “All right, miss. Would you have Cabernet, Malbec, or Carmenerè?”

    Customer: “I don’t want any of that! I just want red wine! Is it so hard to understand that?

    Me: “All right, ma’am, I’ll bring you the Cabernet then.”

    Customer: “I said I don’t want that? I only want red wine! Please get me the manager!”

    Your Complaints Are On Thin Ice

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Top

    (Our location has two entrances, one of which is closed because of unsafe conditions on the adjacent sidewalk due to a recent snowstorm. A woman approaches me as I’m shelving books.)

    Patron: “Hi. You look like who I need to complain to.”

    Me: “Okay. What seems to be the problem?”

    Patron: “These conditions are unacceptable. I had to walk another block just to get in here. All because you and your employees are too lazy to pick up a shovel and clear that sidewalk.”

    Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have the say as to whether that sidewalk is open or not. The city made that decision yesterday for safety reasons.”

    Patron: “I should have known when I saw you that you weren’t going to help me. You have that kind of face.”

    Me: *speechless*

    (At this point, another patrons steps in at my defense.)

    Another Patron: “Excuse me, miss, I hope that you’re not referring to the sidewalk on [street]. My name is [name]. I’m a civil engineer for the city and I can assure that, given the water main rupture and the three feet of frozen ice/slush, it’s going to take an extensive amount of labor to clear and fix that sidewalk. Furthermore, I find it incredibly insensitive that you would complain about this inconvenience to you when, just the other day, a poor boy slipped and fell and broke both legs on that very sidewalk.”

    Patron: *dumbfounded* “Well, I didn’t…” *walks away*

    Less Is More, More Or Less

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Food & Drink, Money, Top

    Me: “Hi! What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Well, I have two coupons here. One is a large pizza, four sodas, and 70 tokens for $29.99. The other is for a large pizza, four sodas, wings, and 110 tokens for $29.99. Which one is better?”

    Me: “Well, I’d personally go with the second one. It’s the same price, plus you get an extra order of wings and 40 more tokens.”

    Customer: “You’re just trying to get more money off of me, so you picked the worse deal. I’ll take the first coupon, idiot!”


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