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    How To Make An Employee’s Day

    | New York, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I work at a call center. As I’m working, I overhear my coworker talking another call.)

    Coworker: “Hi, my name is [name]. I’m calling from [organization]…”

    (As usual, I tune her out since it’s just a script and focus on my own call. However, after a few minutes, she hangs up and excitedly speaks to everyone in the room.)

    Coworker: “Guys! She used my name!”

    Manager: “What?”

    Coworker: “She used my name! When she hung up, she said, ‘Have a nice day, [name]‘!”

    (To this day, whenever the room’s getting a little down, someone always tells the story of the customer who used her name!)

    Patience Is Priceless

    | USA | Family & Kids, Money, Top

    (Today I am the only teller working at the bank, as the rest of my coworkers have called in sick. A little boy whose head barely peeks over the counter waves his hand with a bag of coins in it.)

    Boy: “I want to put this on my savings account! I worked hard! I’m saving money for my girlfriend’s birthday!”

    (As it happens the cash counting machine is broken, so I have to count them by hand.)

    Me: “All right, let’s see how much you got there!” *starts adding up the pennies*

    (The customer behind the boy, an elderly woman, is growing very impatient.)

    Woman: “Oh, come on! I’ve got more to do!”

    Me: “Just a moment, ma’am.” *continues counting*

    Woman: *angry* “Hurry up! My time is valuable!”

    Me: *finally finished counting* “That’s $31.75! You can buy her a handsome gift!”

    Boy: *smiles* “Yeah, she’ll be happy! Bye!” *rushes outside*

    Me: “Bye!” *to the woman* “How can I help you?”

    Woman: *confused* “Oh…I forgot…”

    Me: “Please step aside, then, so I can help the next customer…”

    Woman: *face turns red, mumbles, leaves the bank*

    Ba Dum Dum *Chhh*, Part 3

    | Maryland, USA | Top

    (I’m a waitress in a coffee shop/bakery/deli located in the middle of a small town. I walk into the dining room to see the minister from the church across the street, a police officer from the station down the block, and a lawyer from the courthouse next door sitting at the counter. I’m looking at this strange sight when my boss comes up behind me.)

    Boss: “So a priest, a cop, and a lawyer walk into a bar…”

    Related:
    Ba Dum Dum *Chhh*, Part 2
    Ba Dum Dum *Chhh*

    That’s (Not) One Smart Cookie

    , | Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Technology, Top

    (I work at a university library and we sometimes get calls about our online databases not working. 90% of the time, it’s due to cookies not being enabled.)

    Me: “[Library], this is [name], how can I help you?”

    Patron: “Yeah, hi, I can’t get [database] to work.”

    Me: “All right, do you know if you have cookies enabled?”

    Patron: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, open the internet and click on—”

    (I proceed to walk her through enabling cookies. After each step, I wait for the confirming “okay” from her.)

    Me: “…and that’s it! Does the page work now?”

    Patron: “No.”

    Me: “Did you enable the cookies?”

    Patron: “No, but I did close the internet! It should work when I open it again, right?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. We need to apply a setting.”

    (I proceed to explain the process a second time, this time asking if she completed the step after each one.)

    Me: “Okay, try to open the page again. Does it work?”

    Patron: “No.”

    Me: “Did you allow the cookies?”

    Patron: “No. I closed everything.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, please click—”

    Patron: “This is frustrating! It should work if I restart the internet. I need [database] for class. Why won’t it work?”

    Me: “As I’ve already said, you need to enable cookies.”

    (We go through this process a third time.)

    Patron: “I can’t do this. I need to speak to someone else. I don’t want to talk to you anymore!”

    Me: “All right, ma’am, the librarian is right here. I hope she can help. Have a nice day.”

    (I happily give the phone over to my boss, who at this point is giving me the “I will kill you for making me talk to this person” glare.)

    Don’t Have A Latte Faith In Self-Espression

    | Virginia, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (A customer comes in around 5:00 and orders a triple shot of espresso. I start to make it for him as he watches me the whole time.)

    Me: *handing him cup* “Here you go sir, your triple shot of espresso!”

    Customer: “This is a triple shot of espresso?” *looks down at cup*

    Me: “Yes, sir, it’s three shots of espresso.”

    Customer: “Oh, so what do I put in it?”

    Me: *slightly confused as to what he is asking* “That depends entirely on your preference, sir. We have creamers, milk, sugar, and add ins on the table behind you.”

    Customer: “So, I should put that stuff in?”

    Me: “Only if you want to.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    (He proceeds to go to table and add everything on the table to the triple shot. Several minutes later, the customer comes in with the drink which is filled to the brim with milk/cream.)

    Customer: “You served me earlier and this isn’t a triple shot.”

    Me: “I remember you, sir, and it is. I handed you the triple shot.”

    Customer: “Yes, but I don’t want cream or milk in it. I need you to make it again.”

    Me: “Uh, sir, I’ll have to charge you again for the additional triple shot.”

    Customer: “I don’t think you understand. This drink is wrong! I don’t want milk in it!”

    Me: “I do understand, sir, but you put in the milk yourself.”

    Customer: “You said to put in the milk!”

    Me: “No, sir, I said it was down to your preference. How about you explain to me what you want in the triple espresso and I’ll give you a 10% discount?”

    Customer: “Fine, I want espresso and a little sugar.”

    Me: “All right, sir.”

    (I charge him and begin to make the drink again. This time just adding a little simple syrup, hand him drink.)

    Me: “Here’s your triple espresso!”

    Customer: *looks at drink, then to drink counter* “So, should I put milk in?”

    Me: “Do you want milk?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Then, no.”

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