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    Category: Top

    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 5

    | British Columbia, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (A young man in his early 20s approaches the counter. He is dressed very much like a typical frat boy.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [ice cream parlor]! What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get cotton candy and cake batter ice cream mixed together? And when you put it in the bowl, can you put the cone on top like a hat and make a smiley face out of gummy bears?”

    Me: “Awww, sure! Who’s it for?”

    Customer: *quite seriously* “Me!”

    Me: “Awesome.”

    Related:
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 4
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 3
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 2
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends

    A Bad Run For Their Money

    | Minnesota, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top, Underaged, Wild & Unruly

    (My coworker is serving a group of five teenaged guys. All are very loud, obnoxious, and annoying. They don’t order a lot of food, and finally get up to leave. I am putting in an order then this happens…)

    Coworker: *to me* “THEY ARE RUNNING! THEY ARE RUNNING!”

    Me: “Did you get the license plate number?!”

    Coworker: “Yeah, right after the last guy paid, I noticed there was still one seat open with just a short stack of pancakes. I asked the guy’s friend if his friend was coming back to pay. He turned beet red, said “Yeah,” and that he would go get him. The car already was backed up and waiting when he walked out the door so I went to get the plate numbers quick.”

    Me: “Okay, give me the numbers. I’ll call it in.”

    (I call the police and give them the license plate and description of the car. About five minutes later, an officer shows up and gets a description of the guy who walked out on his bill. He says they may have the kids, and he will get the money for us. Ten minutes later, the officer shows up again.)

    Officer: “Here is the money for the bill. His friends had to pay for it so he wouldn’t get a ticket.”

    Me: “I was hoping you would have brought him up here to face his crime.”

    Officer: “Normally, that is what I would do. However, when we pulled them over for not paying the bill, we noticed the smell of alcohol. They are currently getting minors for underage drinking.”

    (In Minnesota, the fine for underaged drinking is $200. In the end, four of them were under age and drinking and got tickets for it. The bill he walked out on was only $4.55!)

    Try Adobe HeathenShop

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Religion, Technology, Top

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me how this converter works?”

    Me: “Let me see. It looks like you put your old photo negatives into it and it converts them to digital images.”

    Customer: “So, it doesn’t make them Christians?”

    Me: “Uh…what? Who?”

    Customer: “It says it’s a “converter”. So, does it make the people in the pictures turn from devil worshippers into Christians?”

    Me: *stunned* “No…No, it doesn’t do anything like that. It takes old negative strips from film cameras and converts them into digital images.”

    Customer: “So, it won’t make them Christian?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Customer: “What a useless piece of crap that is, then!”

    Redress Address For Mistress Distress

    | Wisconsin, USA | Spouses & Partners, Top

    Customer: “I’m canceling my credit card. You stupid idiots sent a statement to the wrong house!”

    Me: “I do apologize if we sent your statement to the wrong address, but if you’d like, we can correct the address on file so that you can get your statements. What address would you like to receive them at?”

    Customer: “No, you don’t get it. I am CANCELING! This was supposed to be a joint account with my boyfriend, but you f***ing idiots sent the statement to my boyfriend’s house because that was the address he signed up with. It’s your fault that his WIFE found it!”

    Employee Of The Century

    | Little Rock, AR, USA | Top

    (I’m a customer at the checkout stand of a grocery store. I overhear the following conversation between a manager and an employee.)

    Manager: “We’re giving you a raise, from $7.25 to $8.25.”

    Employee: “Since when is what I do suddenly worth a dollar an hour more?!”

    Manager: “Since you’ve been here 3 years, you’ve never taken a sick day, never taken vacation, and never been late. Heck, you haven’t even taken a holiday off!”

    Employee: “Your point? That’s expected of me. Required of me. I don’t know why that’s worth that much more.”

    Manager: “So…you don’t want the money. I don’t understand.”

    Employee: “No. I don’t think it’s right. I’ve been doing the same thing, 40 hours a week, every week.”

    Manager: “What about a promotion? Assistant Manager?”

    Employee: “Why? I’m perfectly happy here where I am at.”

    (The manager stands there, completely shocked and in total disbelief.)

    Employee: “Seriously…” *randomly points at another employee* “…I’d give it to him. ”

    Manager: “Alright.”

    (The manager calls the other employee in, gives him the promotion and the raise. The other employee hasn’t been there 8 months, but of course promptly accepts and is dismissed by the manager.)

    Employee: “May I get back to sweeping now?”

    Manager: “Yeah. Sure, whatever…”

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