November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Top

Hair-Raising Customers

| Seattle, WA, USA | Top, Wild & Unruly

(I have very long, honey-blonde hair that is not dyed or altered. A lady is waiting for her boyfriend in the hospital emergency room when she approaches my desk.)

Me: “Hi, would you like to head back to check on [lady’s boyfriend]?”

Lady: “No. I just wanted to compliment you on your extensions and get the number of your hairdresser.”

Me: “Actually, my hair is natural.”

Lady: “Yeah, okay, right…seriously, who does your hair?”

(At that moment, my printer begins printing paperwork and I turn around to retrieve it. Suddenly, she leans forward and yanks on my hair.)

Me: “OW!”

(She yanks even harder.)

Lady: “They usually come right out!”

(I am trying to free my hair from her as she continues to yank.)

Me: “OW! Ma’am, please, ow, stop. It’s not going to come off! It’s attached to my head!”

(Thankfully, security shows up and makes her let go. As she’s heading to her boyfriend’s room, she starts ranting.)


Mother Doesn’t Know Best

| Kentucky, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

(My mother and I are on a drive to Florida when we stop at a small gas station. A customer and her six- or seven-year-old daughter walk away from the restrooms to the counter.)

Cashier: “May I help you?”

Customer: “Your bathrooms are DISGUSTING! Let me talk to a manager! They make me SICK!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the manager isn’t in right now. Would you like me to file a complaint?”

Customer: “No! I want you to clean the GODD*** BATHROOMS!

(At this point, the little girl is trying to drag her mother away and is telling her to calm down. The cashier is clearly shaken and on the verge of tears.)

Cashier: *tearing up* “I’m sorry, but that’s not my position, and the janitors aren’t in right now. Is there anything else I can do?”

Customer: “NO, GODD*** IT! JUST GO CLEAN THE D*** TOIL—”

(At this point, my mother has had enough and speaks up in defense of the cashier.)

My Mother: “Look. She has told you she can’t clean it. She has offered solutions. Now use the dirty toilets or you can leave! You don’t have to be such a b****!”

Customer: *taken aback* “Well, I…I…HMPH!”

(She storms out, dragging her kid by the arm. After we leave a second later, we see the woman and her little daughter in the parking lot.)

Customer’s Daughter: “Goodness, Mommy! you didn’t have to be so mean to that lady. She was crying!”

Ph.Duh, Part 3

| New York, NY, USA | Technology, Top

(An older professor calls for help with his campus webmail. He is trying to open an email by checking the box. I show him how to click the subject instead. Lo and behold, the email opens.)

Professor: “Well, that worked. But that’s extremely poor design, you know. How was I supposed to know to click the words?”

Me: “Well, I’m glad we could help you figure it out.”

Professor: “This is ridiculous. Not a single other email works like that! This is the only one I’ve ever seen where you have to click the words, not the checkbox.”

Me: “Actually sir, that’s standard design for webmail. But now that you’re able to open your email—”

Professor: “I use [email provider] at home and it doesn’t work like this! How come yours is different from [email provider]?”

Me: “I’m not familiar with [email provider]’s webmail, so I’m afraid I can’t answer your question.”

Professor: “You’re trying to tell me that EVERY other email is just like yours, and I’m telling you it’s NOT TRUE.”

Me: “I’m sorry that I can’t explain the differences between our webmail and [email provider]’s. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Professor: “Yes, you can GO DIE!”

(He hangs up on me, and my boss, who overheard the conversation, is livid. She contacts the professor’s department chair to report him for harassing me, and the chair sent back his deepest apologies and assured us he would reprimand the professor. Justice!)

Ph.Duh, Part 2

Flaws And Effect

| Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink, Top

(We used to have a candy topping for a certain holiday drink. It was discontinued because people found it unpleasant. One customer went as far as to claim that a barista “must have dropped fried rice from their lunch into the drink”. There had been a minor incident over it, and the customer was outraged. This takes place the following year in the drive-thru.)

Coworker: “Hi, here’s your latte! Have a nice night.”

Customer: “Where’s the candied ginger from last year? I only ordered this because I wanted the ginger. I’m not going to enjoy my drink as much now!”

Coworker: “Well, we don’t use it any more because people didn’t like it. Someone even insisted there was rice in their drink! Isn’t that kind of funny?”

Customer: “Oh yes…I remember. Uh…that was me, actually.” *drives away sheepishly*

May The Employees Be Ever In Your Favor

| Belgium | Top

(I’m a customer sitting in a bookstore calmly reading my own book. I always go there because it’s pretty cozy and they let me because I’m a regular.)

Customer: “Hey, you have a copy of The Hunger Games! The store employee said it was sold out!”

Me: “This is my own copy, ma’am. I just come here to read.”

Customer: “You little liar! You just don’t want ME to take the last copy to the counter first!”

(Suddenly, the customer snatches my book out of my hands and runs to the counter.)

Employee: “Excuse me ma’am, but I’m going to ask you to give that book back to the young miss over there.”

Customer: “WHAT?! But I came here first!”

Employee: “I can, in fact, confirm that the book belongs to the young miss.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Sell me this book!”

Employee: “I’m afraid I can’t, ma’am.”

Customer: *slams my book on the counter* “This is the worst service I’ve EVER gotten! I’m NEVER coming back here!” *runs out*

Employee: *to me* “I’m so sorry about that. If your book was harmed in any way, please let me know and I’ll reserve a new one for you.”

Me: *laughing* “Thanks, but it’s fine. Great service though!”