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    Serving Your Pie And Eating It Too

    | Ohio, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (Three teenagers come into the restaurant where I work.)

    Teenage Girl #1: “Okay, so we’ll have three large fountain drinks, six orders of fries, three cookies, and one large pepperoni pizza with stuffed crust.”

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be [amount].”

    (They pay and sit down at a table together with their order. Much to my surprise, Teenage Girl #2 and Teenage Boy get out their own packed lunches and put them in the middle of table to share. They all eat, everyone having a bit of everything. As I sit down at a nearby table for my break, I overhear them talking.)

    Teenage Girl #2: “Okay, so maybe ordering a large pizza WASN’T the greatest idea.”

    Teenage Boy: “It was the extra fries that did it for me.’

    Teenage Girl #1: “So what do we do with the extra pizza?

    Teenage Girl #2: “The box is too big for us to lug it around.”

    Teenage Boy: “Well, crap. We just wasted some money.”

    Teenage Girl #2: “Wait, I have an idea!”

    (She gets up, takes the box, and walks over to me while her friends watch on in confusion.)

    Teenage Girl #2: “Do you like pepperoni pizza?”

    Me: “Um, yeah?”

    (Without another word, she drops the box in front of me and walks away. She and her friends leave the restaurant before I get a chance to say thank you. For the record, the pizza was delicious!)

    Try Wallmart, Part 2

    | New York, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling Borders. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I’m redoing my kitchen right now and I could use some help. I’ve got all the counters and the floors and the cabinets planned, but I can’t decide what to do with the walls. I was thinking some kind of trim would be nice.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Caller: *silent*

    Me: “Sorry, what are you looking for?”

    Caller: “Just trying to figure out what you offer.”

    Me: “Uh, well, I can do a quick search on home renovation or decorating and see what we have?”

    Caller: “Don’t you have samples or something?”

    Me: “What?”

    Caller: *sighs loudly* “SAMPLES. Can you come over and bring me some samples?”

    Me: “…What?”

    Caller: “Oh, good God. Samples, honey! SAM-PLES. They come in a big binder? Show all your different kinds of wallpaper?”

    Me: “You know you’ve called Borders, yes?”

    Caller: “Of course!”

    Me: “…and you know Borders is a bookstore?”

    Caller: “No. It’s a wallpaper company.”

    Me: “It’s not; it’s a bookstore. We sell books.”

    Caller: “ONLY books?”

    Me: “That’s right.”

    Caller: “Well, then why the h*** did you name it Borders? It sounds like you do wallpaper borders and trims and things!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Do you want me to look up a book on wallpaper for you?”

    Caller: “Can you install it if I find something I like?”

    Me: “No.”

    Caller: “You’re useless!” *hangs up*

    Related:
    Try Wallmart

    We Love To See You Smile

    | North Carolina, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am having a terrible day at work, and haven’t smiled once. I have just finished ringing up an older couple’s order.)

    Me: “Have a good day.”

    Older Customer: “Do you have any paper?”

    (I give the customer some receipt paper. He gets a pen, quickly scribbles something on the paper, and hands it to me.)

    Older Customer: “Everyone deserves to smile.”

    (The customer then walked away. I looked at it and he had drawn me a flower. I still have it. :) )

    Mismanaged Expectations

    | Columbia Heights, Minnesota, MN, USA | Top

    (I am the third shift manager at my store. I live only a block from my store, so when I need stuff, I just walk over. I stop in one afternoon on my day off. The store is busy and I notice a lady who is obviously upset. So, I approach just to help out.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, I work here. Is there something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “No. I need to talk to a manager, not some young punk kid.”

    (Note that I am 19.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am actually—”

    Customer: “I said you can’t help me. I need a manager!”

    Me: *gives up* “Yes, ma’am. Let me go in back to get him…”

    (I go into our back room where I keep my work shirt most of the time with my name tag. I put them both on real quick, and come out of the back room to the customer.)

    Me: “Excuse me, you needed to speak to a manager?”

    Customer: “Yes, about time! I want to complain—”

    (She turns and sees me, realizing who I am. This just gets her more upset.)

    Customer: “What are you doing?!”

    Me: “I am a manager. How may I assist you today?”

    Customer: “How old are you? You can’t be a manager!”

    Me: “I’m nineteen, ma’am, and I am a manager. How may I assist you?”

    Customer: “This store is stupid. I’m not coming back!” *leaves*

    Lying Doesn’t Sit Well

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I’m clearing off the outdoor patio because we’ve stopped seating and our kitchen is closed. Three customers sit down at a table.)

    Me: “I’m sorry guys, but the outdoor seating is closed. Our kitchen and the dinning room are closed too, but the bar will be open till two.”

    Customers: *inaudible grumbling*

    Me: “Sorry, folks. ”

    (I clean off a few more tables. As I’m walking back inside, one of the men at the table stops me.)

    Customer: “I know you’re closed and all, but I’m just saying we were sat out here by a host. Maybe you guys should get your S*** together!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir? A host sat you without menus or silverware?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Do you know her name or what she looked like, sir? I’d like to talk to her.”

    Customer: *stumbling for words* “I don’t know…she—”

    Me: “…Especially since the last host was cut over an hour ago, and I’m the only server still on the floor. I must say I’m VERY curious who sat you.”

    Customer: “Well…F*** YOU!” *leaves with his friends*

    Me: “Have a nice night, guys!”

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