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    Category: Top

    Caught Red-Handed, Part 3

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (Note: I work at a thrift store. It’s quite common for people to pull off price tags in an effort to get a lower price. Most of the time it works, but occasionally we’ll catch someone doing it. This night, my boss approaches me holding a tag that says “$6.99″.)

    Boss: *hands me a tag* “I just watched a family in housewares pull this tag off of a metal basket. So, if they ask what price it is, it’s $6.99.”

    (Just as my boss predicted, the family comes up ten minutes later with the metal basket, just before closing. The husband begins talking to me.)

    Customer: *feigning ignorance* “Oh, so what’s the price on this basket?”

    Me: “It’s $6.99.”

    Customer: *indignant* “Really?!”

    (I pull out the $6.99 price tag they ripped off earlier.)

    Me: “Yeah, really.”

    Customer: “Oh, s***.”

    (I love my work sometimes.)

    Related:
    Caught Red-Handed, Part 2
    Caught Red-Handed

    Robbing Peter To Connect Paul

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Technology, Top

    (While working for a customer service department, I get this call.)

    Caller: “How do I hook up my cable box to the VCR, and the VCR to the TV?”

    (I walk her through the process, TV out from the back of the cable box, to TV in on the VCR, TV out on the VCR, to antenna in on the television.)

    Caller: “No, not getting anything.”

    (I explain it to her again.)

    Caller: “Still nothing.”

    (I walk her through the process: “A” to “B”, “C” to “D”. I do this for the next half hour with no result. Finally, I give up.)

    Me: “Ma’am, how many cables do you have?”

    Caller: “One.”

    Me: “So, when I ask you to attach the cable to each point, where do you get the cable from?”

    Caller: “Oh, I just disconnect it from the previous spot!”

    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Geography, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (Note: my job at the airport is to give information to tourists as a courtesy.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “How do I get to New Orleans from here?”

    Me: “You’ll need to take a flight. It’s on the other side of the country.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not.”

    Me: “Yes, it’s in Louisiana.”

    Customer: *getting mad* “Well, I’m from Houston and I’d be pretty pissed off if I went all this way for nothing!”

    Me: “Wait…if you wanted to go to New Orleans, why did you take a plane to Los Angeles?”

    Customer: “Because I’ve been wanting to visit my old pen pal for awhile to surprise him. Every time I send him a letter, I write ‘New Orleans, LA’ on the envelope. That’s L.A.! That’s where I am, and I know you’re lying!”

    Related:
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3
    Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance

    The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny

    | Manchester, UK | Bigotry, Top

    (I am a woman working at a shop that specializes in mountain climbing equipment. I happen to be very experienced when it comes to trekking, so often colleagues ask me to help people who are planning a mountain trek. My coworker is bringing a male customer over to me for trek-planning help.)

    Coworker: “And here’s [my name] now. She’s our expert when it comes mountain treks!”

    Male Customer: “Don’t be stupid.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Male Customer: “Girls don’t climb mountains.”

    Me: *laughs* “This girl does! Where are you hoping to climb?”

    Male Customer: “Well, I’m climbing the highest peak in the Atlas region.”

    Me: “Oh, Jebel Toubkal? Excellent, I did that last year. What time of year are you planning to go?”

    Male Customer: “I don’t believe you.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Male Customer: “Can you just bring back the man I spoke to first? I’m sure he’ll know more about it than you.”

    Me: “You think my male colleague, who specializes in camping, low-level trekking and biking, will be more equipped to help you than me, a woman who climbed the exact mountain you’re planning to climb?”

    Male Customer: “Yes.”

    (I fetch my coworker, who is forced to continue checking with me to see if what he is selling is okay. The worst part: my staff identification picture is of me at the summit of Jebel Toubkal!)

    When Press Comes To Shove

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Top

    (I’m working at a dry cleaners. It’s nearly closing time, so my 6’5″, 250 lb. fiancé is waiting out of sight in the back for me to finish up. A last minute customer arrives.)

    Customer: *angrily* “Are my shirts done yet?!”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Let me get those for you.”

    (I get the shirts, which the customer has waited a long time to pick up—several weeks. They are therefore not perfectly pressed anymore. The customer inspects them and is clearly not happy.)

    Customer: “This is terrible work! Look at this wrinkle!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but they were—”

    (The customer shoves himself aggressively over the counter and starts yelling abusively in my face.)

    Customer: “WHAT KIND OF CRAPPY DRY CLEANER ARE YOU ANYWAY!?”

    (Suddenly, my fiancé, who has heard all this, whips out from the back of the store and jumps in front of the counter, between me and the abusive customer. He moves to within three inches of the customer’s face, and looks down at him menacingly.)

    Fiancé: *softly, but in deep bass register* “DO. YOU. HAVE. A. PROBLEM?”

    Customer: *cowers back* “No, no…everything’s fine…”

    (The customer grabs his shirts and literally flees out the store.  I never saw him again.)

    Me: *to fiance* “I love you.”


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