(The shop I work in has a TV that plays the news 24/7. It has picked up a story about a judge ruling that the Obama health care bill was unconstitutional.)
Customer: “Well good! It is unconstitutional! You can’t force anyone to get health care if they don’t want it. This country is becoming too socialist! We don’t need any socialist programs!”
Me: *avoiding the topic* “Your total comes to [total].”
Customer: “Alright, here you go.”
(The customer hands me her food stamps card.)
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3,890 Thumbs Up!)
(A young woman is ordering her breakfast.)
Me: “Would you like eggs as well?”
Customer: “No thanks, I’m trying to become a vegetarian and eggs come from cows.”
(Please note she had already ordered bacon.)
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3,406 Thumbs Up!)
(I work for a large retailer at a mall as a security guard which means wearing a dress shirt and tie with a jacket. As it’s the holiday shopping season it is impossible to find parking. I had just parked my car to go into work when I was approached by an older lady in her vehicle.)
Customer: “Excuse me young man, are you leaving?”
Me: “No, ma’am. I just got here.”
Customer: “Why are you all dressed up?”
Me: “Well, I work at the store over here.”
Customer: “So you’re not a real person? You should give me your spot.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “You’re not a real person. You don’t need to park here like everyone else!”
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2,439 Thumbs Up!)
Me: “Thank you for calling, how may I help you?”
Caller: “Yeah. Do Xbox 360s come with cup holders?”
Me: “Uh…”
Person in the background: “IT’S ON FIRE!”
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3,302 Thumbs Up!)
(I’m a waitress taking the order of a little girl and her mother.)
Young Daughter: “I’ll get the mac’n’cheese. Extra cheesy!”
Mother: “No, you certainly will not. It’s your third day eating mac n’ cheese, missy! You’re going to get chicken and broccoli.”
Young Daughter: “But mommy! Eddie said that broccoli is bad for you!”
Mother: “Your brother most certainly did not!”
Young Daughter: “Yeah! The other day I saw him smoking his broccoli and when I asked if I could he looked at me and said that it’s very bad for little girls like me. His eyes were all red and everything!”
Mother: “When was this?!”
Young Daughter: “Yesterday! But his friend brought over more broccoli today. They’re weird.”
Me: *feeling very awkward* “Ma’am, I can get the check for you if you’d like to leave?”
Mother: “That’d be great. And could you box up an order of mac’n’cheese please? Oh, and some really good smelling stuff? I figure they’ll have the munchies and I want to torture them.”
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5,206 Thumbs Up!)
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