July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Top

Some Customers Deserve To Be Carted Off

| New Haven, CT, USA | Bizarre, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am shopping in a large supermarket. There is a young woman of Asian descent in a wheelchair, examining the ingredient list on some items. A middle-aged woman comes into the same aisle, stares blankly into space and then starts pushing the young woman’s wheelchair.)

Young Customer: *surprised as her wheelchair is pushed* “Excuse me?”

Middle-aged Customer: *blankly* “What?

(The young customer’s wheelchair grinds to a rubbery halt from the brakes.)

Young Customer: “What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

Middle-aged Customer: “Why are you in my shopping cart?! GET THE F*** OUT OF MY GROCERIES, YOU B****!”

Young Customer: *on the verge of tears* “I-I’m sorry, but—”

Middle-aged Customer: “What did you do to my groceries, you filthy thief?! You steal jobs from my country, and NOW you steal food?!”

(The middle-aged customer struggles with the young customer for a few seconds. Suddenly, she shoves the young woman off of her wheelchair.)

Young Customer: *screams*

(Hearing the poor young customer’s screaming, a manager as well as a few other customers rush over to the aisle to help. Seeing this, the middle-aged customer freezes for a second and then tries to bolt with her “shopping cart”, but can’t push it due to the brakes. The manager takes one look at the girl on the floor, one look at the other woman’s wild expression, and then promptly tackles the woman to the ground as she tries to flee.)

Middle-aged Customer: *hysterically* “Rape! Rape! Help! I’m being raped!”

Manager: “Are you serious?!”

Middle-aged Customer: *points to the young customer* “You should arrest her! She stole my job, and then she stole my groceries!”

Manager: *fed up* “Well, I’m sure the police will be happy to hear about it!”

Middle-aged Customer: *gets hauled off as the other customers applaud*

The Customer Is Sometimes Alright

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Top

(I am at a sit-down restaurant at a theme park. A waitress comes up to me while I’m eating.)

Waitress: “Are you finding everything alright, sir?”

Me: “Yes, the food’s very good! Thank you for asking.”

(As she is walking away, I realize I have only $20 in my wallet and no credit cards. I’m fairly young, so I don’t have a credit card and always pay in cash. Because the meal including tax is $19.05, I find out I only have 95 cents for a tip.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am…I have a question.”

Waitress: “Yes?”

Me: “Am I supposed to tip you? Because, I don’t think I have enough money left. You see, I only have $20, and the meal I paid for left me with only 95 cents.”

Waitress: *smiles warmly* “Oh, don’t worry about it. The tip is already included with the bill!”

Me: “Really? I don’t have to give you any physical tips or anything like that? Because I really thought I had to give you one.”

Waitress: “Don’t worry about it! Like I said, tips are already included with the bill. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me! Please do enjoy your meal!”

(She walks away with a smile on her face. A couple sitting in the table right next to me paid attention to the whole conversation.)

Husband: “Hey, uh…excuse me, sir?”

(I turn in their direction. He is leaning towards me with a few $1 bills in his hand.)

Husband: “Here, take this. My wife and I overheard your conversation with your waitress. She was really nice and friendly, and we felt a little sorry when we also heard that you wanted to tip her but didn’t have the money. Please, do take this.”

(I stretch out my arm and take their money. Using my thumb, I leaf through it and find out they are giving me $10 to tip my waitress. I am dumbfounded.)

Me: “Why, that’s really kind of you sir, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t!”

(The husband shakes his head in a friendly sort of way, and pushes the money towards me.)

Husband: “No, really, I do insist that you tip your waitress.”

Me: “Thank you…thank you so much! How can I ever repay you?”

Husband: “You don’t need to pay me back. Honest. You both really needed it.”

(I finish my meal, and my waitress comes over to my table to get the bill.)

Me: “Here, take this tip. I really do want you to take it! It came through the kindness of others.”

(She turns to all three of us; apparently, she overheard our conversation.)

Waitress: “Thank you! I’ll go get your bill and hope all of you have a wonderful night!”

(She goes to get the bill and I pay for the meal, getting my last 95 cents as calculated.)

Me: *to husband* “Please, I know it’s not much, but take this 95 cents.”

Husband: *waves me off* “No, no, I can’t. Keep the change. You’ll never know when you’ll need those coins.”

(I try again to give my change to him, but get the same reaction.)

Me: “Well, I know this isn’t much as well, but please have my thanks, and have a great night!”

(I wave to them as I leave the restaurant and they wave back. I still have that receipt to this day to remind me of the kindness a couple brought to me in a tight spot.)

Smile, You’re On Sordid Camera

| USA | Bigotry, Top

(We’ve recently gotten a transferred supervisor from another state, and we all just love her. We’re all particularly excited to see what happens when one of our regulars, who’s a big jerk and a misogynist, meets her. Note: I’m sweeping up a small mess when this happens.)

Mean Regular: *to me* “I see you got a new skirt around here.”

Me: “We do have a new woman working here, yes.”

Mean Regular: “Then why you sweepin’? That’s her job. It’s woman’s work!” *yells across the store at her* “Oi! B****! Why don’t you get to the jobs you supposed to be doin’? Ain’t no man’s job to sweep and clean!”

(My supervisor calmly walks over to our side of the store with a small smile on her face. Note: this customer towers over her and is much bulkier than she is.)

Mean Regular: “What you comin’ over here for?”

Female Supervisor: *calmly* “I came over here to inform you that if you yell across the store like that again, you will have to leave.”

Mean Regular: *menacingly* “What’d you say to me, b****?!”

Female Supervisor: *smiling* “I don’t make a habit of repeating myself, sir.” *to me* “Excuse me.”

(She turns to go back to what she has been doing—helping a different customer—but the mean regular starts yelling again.)

Mean Regular: “I’m gonna get you, b****, I swear I will! You’ll pay for disrespecting me! You can’t talk to me like that. I am a MAN! How dare you!”

(My supervisor stops in her tracks, pulls out her phone, swivels around and takes his picture.)

Female Supervisor: “I’m going to ask you to write down your name, address and phone number so we can contact you about your complaint, sir.”

Mean Regular: “Well, finally. A w**** who knows how to treat a real man!” *writes down his information and leaves*

Me: “What’d you do that for?”

Female Supervisor: “For the police report. He threatened me!”

On A Berating And A Prayer

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Top

(It’s 8 am on a Sunday morning, and only my second day working the register alone at a very large, well-known 24-hour store. Two customers come up to my register with four carts overflowing with food.)

Me: “Good morning, how are you today?” *starts scanning and bagging items*

Younger Customer: “Hello, these are separate orders.”

Me: “Oh, okay! Just let me know when to stop for the first order.”

Older Customer: “Who said to scan this stuff?! What’s wrong with you!? Did I say we were ready for you to start? Are you stupid?”

Me: “Oh! Um…I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Older Customer: “You should!”

(At this point, the older customer begins to dig through the carts with the younger customer, separating things and barking at me to scan items here and there. After a bit, she asks me the price of a box of crackers.)

Me: *checks the price on the register* “They’re [price].”

Older Customer: “No! It said something else! It was a different price!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I can have someone check—”

Older Customer: “You don’t know the price?”

Me: “Not off the top of my head, no. I just started—”

Older Customer: “Well, I DO know the prices of everything in the store because I shop here, and that is [price]! GOD, you’re stupid! And what are you doing?! Double bag everything! You’re being an idiot on purpose, aren’t you?!”

Younger Customer: “Come on, mom. She’s trying her best.”

Older Customer: “No, she’s too stupid to work here. She shouldn’t be dealing with people if she’s this stupid!”

(She ended up calling me stupid several more times before leaving. A few months later, she went through another cashier’s line; her profession? A pastor.)

Revenge Is A Treat Best Served Sweet, Part 2

| Australia | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(Our shop sells a variety of desserts. The lady who owns the shop loves small kids, and insists that we add small extras for them. She often doesn’t even charge polite children. It’s a busy day when a woman and her young son approach the counter. The son can’t be older than 4. He looks terribly excited and is clutching a coin as though his life depends on it.)

Young Son: “Could I please have a…single chocolate ice cream?”

Mother: “You shouldn’t say ‘please’ to her. Only to people you know.”

Young Son: *sadly* “Oh…I’m sorry, Missus Ice Cream Lady. Am I still allowed a single chocolate ice cream?”

Mother: “No, don’t apologise, either! Just say what you want and don’t talk to her. You’ll waste good manners otherwise.”

Young Son: “Oh, okay…I would please like a single chocolate ice cream and nothing else.”

Mother: “No, you said please again! Look, it’s not that hard! Your manners are terrible!”

(As this goes on, I start making the ice cream. The boy’s eyes slowly move from his mother’s weird demands to the ice cream as I make it bigger and bigger, adding extra cream, berries, sprinkles, and anything I can think of. His face goes from confusion to a grin to a dropped jaw of awe. The final product is almost as big as his head.)

Me: “Here you go, young man! You’re the politest customer I’ve had today, and polite customers always get rewarded! If there were more customers like you, wouldn’t the world be a nicer place?”

Mother: “Ugh! He’s not supposed to be polite to people on minimum wage!”

Me: *ignores her* “Thank you, young man, for battling the forces of rudeness and for making the world a better place!”

(I refuse payment, because apparently the coin the boy is the boy’s ‘life savings’. The mother storms off berating him, although her son is oblivious due to his enormous ice cream. The next day, him and all his friends come for ice cream. All are super polite, so they all got extra large ones at half price.)

Related:
Revenge Is A Treat Best Served Sweet

Page 158/361First...156157158159160...Last