Category: Top

Ah, Grandmothers, Part 2

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Top

(I am a customer in this story and am with my grandmother. The cashier is an older woman in her mid- to late-60s.)

Cashier: “Well dearie, I think we’ve finished the returns. So, we can start on your purchases.” *starts scanning items*

Me: “Thanks. It took me a while to find these bargains.”

Cashier: “Well, I can tell by your savings now that you’ve done pretty well!”

(Without warning, another customer pushes past me and my grandmother and starts trying to take my items.)

Cashier: *to the other customer* “Excuse me, ma’am. These do not belong to you. These belong to these ladies here.”

Other Customer: “RACISM! I knew this store was racist! Trying to take MY ITEMS and give them to this WHITE TRASH HERE!”

(Note: the other customer is also white. My poor grandmother is bewildered and doesn’t know what to say or do. The cashier is on the verge of tears and calls security.)

Me: “Excuse me, but those items are indeed mine. I spent almost two hours here with my grandmother trying to find them. If you want, I can tell you where I found them.”

Other Customer: “LIES! You stole them from me! B***h, you are gonna get SUED!”

(At this moment, security shows up.)

Security: *to the other customer* “Oh, no she isn’t. Lady, we have to talk with you.”

Other Customer: “About time! Take this trailer trash outta the store! Stealing my things! It’s a crime. I’ll sue you and your store and this b**** for thievery!”

Security: “Lady, we have security cameras in the store. We checked them and discovered you have been the one stealing. So, you’re going to have to come with us.”

Other Customer: “LIKE H*** I AM!” *runs out of the store with security chasing her*

Cashier: *to me grandmother and I* “I am so sorry. Would you like store credit or something?”

(My grandmother and I talk and decide not to take it because it wasn’t the store’s fault. Instead, I pay for my items and we leave. On our way out, we see the other customer is being questioned by police.)

My Grandmother: *to the other customer* “B****! You got what you deserved. Karma got you back, fool!”

Related:
Ah, Grandmothers
Ah, Mothers
Ah, Fathers
Ah, Fathers, Part 2

Mother Mellows Best

| British Columbia, Canada | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top

(My coworker and I are the only ones on duty at a gas station. We work at a full service gas station, and as it’s July, we’re very busy. I’m outside filling vehicles, while my coworker is inside ringing customers up. Note that I’m kind of timid, while my coworker is kind of hot headed, and we’re both female. A man in his late forties pulls up in his big pickup truck.)

Me: “Sir? Can I get you to pull ahead a bit and park a little closer to the pump? There are some customers who can’t reach the pump behind you, and you’re too close to the store. They can’t go around you.”

(The customer doesn’t even look at me and stalks off towards the store.)

Male Customer: “Fill it. Make d*** sure that you wash the windshield, too!”

(I begin to do my job. A line is forming behind the truck, and customers are asking me what’s the hold up. I have to explain to them about the customer, and I apologize profusely. Finally, the truck is filled, and I go in to tell my coworker the price.)

Me: “That’ll be [price].”

(The man has been standing in line for some time, refusing to let others in front of him while he waits for the price. The store is packed and hot, and the other customers look uncomfortable.)

Male Customer: “I’d like to pay with my [chain] points card, but I don’t know how many points are on it. Check it.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but we have no way of telling you how many points are on your card. The best I can do for you is to run the card and if it comes up short, charge you that extra.”

Male Customer: “What?! I make sure I stop at every [chain] station that I can to collect these d*** points! I will not pay for the gas with my own money! Just run the card through one of your machines and tell me how many d*** points I have!”

Coworker: “Sir, like I told you before, we don’t have any machines that can check your points. If you want to use your card, you can, but if it comes up short I’ll have to charge you the extra.”

(This goes on for a little while, and my coworker begins to get irate, though she keeps her cool. More customers come in and I try and help others at the second till, but then the man starts yelling at me. I ignore him and try to swipe a customer’s credit card, but the man grabs the card reader from my hand and jams his points card in. The look of shock and hurt on my face must have been apparent, because another customer, a woman maybe a bit older than the man, steps in.)

Female Customer: *to the male customer* “WHAT THE F*** DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? You’ve got a room full of people AND a bunch of cars outside waiting for you to get your a** out of the way and get out of here! You’ve been rude to these girls who have been nothing but polite to you, and now you’re starting to piss me off! And I’m sure I’m not the only one!”

(The other customers nod and murmur their agreement.)

Male Customer: “B****, I didn’t ask for your thoughts. Get back to your kitchen and your whining grandchildren!”

Female Customer: “Is that how you would speak to your mother? Really, didn’t your mother teach you better?”

(Suddenly, the troublesome customer doesn’t seem to be so angry. He actually looks a little bit scared at the mention of his mother. He begins stuttering and cussing her out, but the fire in him is gone. The lady fixes him the coldest stare I’ve ever seen, and then the customer flings two fifties at my coworker and begins elbowing his way through the sea of people and out of the store. The customers begin applauding and insist the heroine go to the front of the line. She’s only getting two Vitamin Waters and a bag of chips, and since the troublesome customer has given us much more than he needed, my coworker and I pay for her with the change.)

At Least His Daughter Is On The Right Track

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(I’m a 17-year-old girl. I work as a hostess to pay for my gas money at a local restaurant that specializes in seafood. A family of three walks in: a mom, dad, and their daughter. They’re all well-dressed and the daughter is texting away on an iPhone.)

Wife: “We have a reservation.”

Me: “Name?”

Wife: *gives their last name*

Me: “Ah, yes, here it is. Table for three. If you would please follow me…”

(I lead them to a table by the window.)

Wife: “Thank you.”

Husband: “Don’t thank her! This is unacceptable!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, is there a problem?”

Husband: “OF COURSE there’s a problem! I want to be seated outside!”

Me: “My apologies, sir, but all of the tables outside are taken. Your reservation has no specified preference, so according to restaurant policy, I took you to the first available table. Would you like to wait until a table on the patio is open?”

Husband: “No! I want to be seated right now!”

Wife: *to her husband* “Calm down, please.”

Husband: “Your service is horrible!”

Me: “I can get the manager for you, if you would like.”

Husband: “Do it, now!”

(The entire time, the daughter is still texting away. I fetch my manager and he sends me back to work. Two hours later, the family walks out. The daughter slips me something and leaves without a word. It’s a note and three folded twenty dollar bills.)

Daughter’s Note: “Sorry that my dad is such an a**. I hope this makes up for it, and congratulations on the track meet last Thursday. We stayed inside, just so you know!”

(Upon closer inspection, it turns out that she runs for one of our rival schools. I knew she looked familiar!)

This Troll Should Have Stuck At Home

| Ohio, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Top

(There is a large anime convention at our hotel. During these conventions, many guests dress up as their favorite characters. Some even go all-out and will wear body paint or mascot suits, carry fake weapons, etc. Even during these conventions, non-convention goers stay in the hotel. I am working the front desk and am approached by a very angry guest.)

Me: “How may I help you today?”

Guest: “Kick these d***ed freaks out of this hotel! They’re disturbing my children!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am. The event is already going on, and all of these people have paid to attend.”

Guest: “They’re disturbing my children! They have weapons! They’re dangerous freaks!”

Me: “We wouldn’t allow real weapons on the convention floor. All weapons have been checked, and all of them are props. I can assure you that no one here will harm your children with their weapons.”

Guest: “You’re lying! You’re just covering up for this… cult! It’s a cult of dangerous freaks with weapons!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no cult activity.”

Guest: “If it’s not a cult, then why are they painted grey? And why are they wearing devil horns? They’re the headmasters of the cult!” *motions to a nearby group in costume*

Me: “They’re in costumes. This is an anime convention. Many people dress up in costumes. That group is dressed up as characters from [popular webcomic]. They’re not a cult.”

Guest: “You’re lying! They’re a devil-worshipping cult! They’re going to wait until midnight, then sacrifice all the virgins to Satan!”

Me: “Actually, the only thing happening at midnight tonight is the convention’s dance.”

Guest: “A dance with the devil! You even admitted it! They’re a cult of devil-worshippers!”

Me: “I never said that.”

Guest: “And them, over there! In the animal costumes!” *motions to a group of people in mascot suits* “They’re going to perform strange sex acts on innocent people at the cult meeting tonight! How dare you let this happen?!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you would listen to me—”

(There is now a long line of people waiting to be helped behind her, most of whom look upset with the way this guest is talking.)

Guest: *turns around to the people in line* “Don’t check into this hotel! They let crazy cults of devil-worshippers bring weapons in to sacrifice virgins and then have sex!” *runs off*

Next Guest in line: “…Heh. Normal people are funny. Can I please have some extra towels?”

A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’, Part 2

| Turin, Italy | Awesome Customers, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I’m a customer at a local restaurant. It’s 7:30 pm, so most of the customers haven’t arrived yet and the place is pretty quiet. All of a sudden, a middle-aged customer starts shouting randomly and making obscene gestures to people. A waitress tries to calm him down, but he just doesn’t listen. This goes on for a while, until the same waitress approaches an elderly couple with their dinner.)

Elderly Wife: “Thank you, dear. Is there any way to make that horrible man stop yelling?”

Waitress: “I am sorry, ma’am. He keeps ignoring us.”

Elderly Husband: “He’s just a little kid hoping for attention. Kick him out.”

Waitress: “I am terribly sorry, but it is our policy not to kick customers unless they are posing a threat to someone. We can not even touch him.”

Elderly Husband: “Well, that doesn’t apply to me, does it?”

(With that, the elderly husband stands up, reaches the middle-aged customer and grabs him by an ear. He then drags him on the floor and out of the restaurant, eventually kicking him in the butt. When he comes back to his table, he hands the waitress 40 euros.)

Elderly Husband: “For the glass he broke on his way out. Bad kids always need a good kick in the butt!”

Related:
A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’

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