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    Category: Top

    The Prettiest Customer

    | Avondale, AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m having a bad day as I’ve heard some unfortunate news from a coworker, so my face is a bit somber. A little girl walks up with her parents to my register; her head barely peeks above the counter. I love kids and normally interact with them when I am ringing up the items.)

    Little Girl: *softly* “You’re pretty.”

    (Unfortunately, I can’t hear her because of the beeping from the register.)

    Me: “What was that, sweetie?”

    Little Girl: *louder* “You’re pretty.”

    Me: “Aww, thank you, sweetie.”

    Little Girl: “I hope I am pretty like you when I grow up!”

    (My heart has melted by now.)

    Me: “You are already the prettiest little girl ever! I know you will keep getting prettier as you get older!”

    (I finish the transaction with her parents. As they are slowly walking away, I hear her dad.)

    Dad: “That was very nice, honey. What made you say that?”

    Little Girl: “Because it is true, and she wasn’t smiling when we walked in. And I wanted to get her to smile!”

    (She was right. I was smiling for the rest of my shift!)

    My Dog Thinks You’re Nuts

    | Boston, MA, USA | Bigotry, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a dog park, and I get to bring my Great Dane to work with me. Most of my regulars know and love my dog, and he has his own little fan club. My Dane is an obedience champion and has a vast vocabulary of verbal and hand signal commands, including “shake”. However, because of his height, if someone asks him to “shake”, they usually get smacked for their troubles. An unpleasant new visitor to the park begins making disparaging comments.)

    New Visitor: *to me* “Border Collies are a real man’s dog. If you aren’t smart enough for a collie, you get something like that!” *points at my dog*

    Me: “Excuse me, but that’s incredibly rude.”

    New Visitor: “See? What did I tell you? Only a stupid woman would own a stupid dog like that!”

    Regular #1: “Actually, that dog is brilliant.”

    New Visitor: “Whatever. I bet he doesn’t even know how to shake hands.”

    Regular #2: *smiles* “Oh, please try…”

    New Visitor: *to my Great Dane* “Shake!”

    My Great Dane: *smacks him in the crotch*

    Seoul Much For That Brilliant Idea

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Love/Romance, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a caucasian female working as a concierge in a hotel in Chicago, but I grew up in Korea. This particular group of guests has been causing havoc their entire stay, stealing items and bothering other patrons in the halls. One night, the television in the lounge has been smashed, so my boss calls the police on them. They are sitting on the sofa while the officer is trying to get their details. Before every answer, the guests converse amongst themselves in Korean.)

    Officer: “Where are you boys from?”

    Guest #1: *in Korean* “Tell him we’re from Japan!”

    Guest #2: “Uh, Japan. Yeah.”

    Me: *in perfect Korean* “You guys better tell him the truth. He’s going to find out anyway.”

    (They are in shock. But before they sputter out an excuse, the policeman says…)

    Officer: *in perfect Korean* “That’s okay. We’ll get it from their passports.”

    (And that was how I met my now fiancé. The guests, by the way, spent the rest of the night at HIS workplace instead of mine.)

    Disco Stu Gets Our Approval

    | USA | Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I’m standing next to a music demo display and talking to a coworker. A family walks by with their two little girls in tow. The parents are bickering and are too busy to notice what their girls are doing.)

    Coworker: *to me* “So, after you get done here go ahead and start binning, start with 46 and then—”

    (Suddenly, one of the little girls presses a button on the music demo display, effectively interrupting us with loud music.)

    Coworker: *doesn’t miss a beat and breaks into wild disco moves*

    (The girl and her sister stare with huge grins on their faces. The parents are too busy bickering to notice. When the music stops, my coworker resumes talking to me as if nothing has happened.)

    Coworker: “—and after 46, help with the top of the steel…”

    (I gained a lot of respect for my coworker that night!)

    Related:
    Disco Stu Does Not Approve

    You Just Got Ownered

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Top, Transportation

    (My brothers-in-law own a garage and tow business. A very angry customer calls up one night with problems, so we send one of our tow truck drivers to tow his car.)

    Tow Truck Driver: “So, what happened?”

    Customer: “Just get the car towed and shut the f*** up!”

    Tow Truck Driver: *gets into the car to check it*

    Customer: “What are you doing?! I tried that! It doesn’t work! Just get the car home, you dumb f***!”

    (Our driver obliges the customer and tows his vehicle to his home. As soon as his car is in the driveway, the customer jumps right into his car, tries the key, and starts the car right up.)

    Customer: “Well, I guess I don’t have to pay you, right?”

    Tow Truck Driver: “No, sir, I still towed the car. You will have to pay.”

    Customer: “But the car works! You should have known that!”

    Tow Truck Driver: “Well, I tried to ask and check the car, but you didn’t want me to. You told me to just tow it.”

    Customer: “You should have checked. I’m not paying!”

    (Not wanting a fight, our driver tells the man he’ll have to come down to the shop the next day. The next day, he comes in and finds one of my brothers-in-law at the garage.)

    My Brother-in-law: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m very upset! The druggie who towed my car is trying to rip me off. Who hires such lowlifes? I’m not paying!”

    My Brother-in-law: “Sir, the driver tried to check your car, and you stopped him and told him to just tow it. It’s not his fault.”

    Customer: “This is f***ing ridiculous! I want that f***ing peon fired! He’s using my money for his drug habit, and he should’ve known my car was okay!”

    My Brother-in-law: “Sir, you need to calm down or this conversation is finished.”

    Customer: “Now I’m getting it from YOU! Another f***ing peon working a desk! How dare you?! You little s***s are all getting fired. Where’s your manager?!”

    My Brother-in-law: “Well, you see, sir, he’s the tow manager, so he can’t really fire himself—”

    Customer: “Now you’re being f***ing flip with me?! Where’s your manager?!”

    My Brother-in-law: “—and I’m the owner, so none of that’s gonna happen.”

    Customer: *shuts up, defeated*

    My Brother-in-law: “It just keeps getting worse and worse, doesn’t it?”

    (The customer left… after paying.)

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