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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Urine Need Of Training Yourself

    | Short Hills, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (Our store is in a shopping mall, so we don’t have public restrooms like most of our chain locations. Since the mall has restrooms conveniently located across the hall, we usually don’t have any problems. This day, a customer runs into our store holding her three-year-old son’s hand.)

    Customer: “Where’s your bathroom?”

    Me: “We actually don’t have one, but there’s one right over—”

    Customer: “What do you mean you don’t have a bathroom? My son needs to go immediately!”

    Me: “There’s a public restroom right across the hall over there.”

    Customer: “I don’t have time to get him over there! I need you to let us use yours!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. But really, the restroom is right across the hall—”

    Customer: “MY SON IS ABOUT TO PEE HIS PANTS! He’s still being potty trained and can’t hold it for very long!”

    (To my surprise, another customer who has overheard the conversation speaks in our defense.)

    Another Customer: “Are you crazy, lady? There’s a bathroom not thirty feet away! You’re going to let your poor son wet himself so you can argue with this man? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

    The Cuss-tomer Is Always Right

    | USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Top

    (A mother storms into our day camp. She’s holding her five-year-old son by the arm.)

    Mom: “My son said the F-word last night after coming home from YOUR day camp. I will NOT have a bunch of unprofessional teenagers setting bad examples for my child!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am. I have no idea which employee could have said that, but I will definitely call a meeting with all of our counselors to discuss this.”

    Mom: “Yeah, you’d better. I should have all of you fired, really!”

    (She turns to leave, but as she walks away she drops her sunglasses.)

    Mom: “Oh, f***!”

    At Least Meet Us Half-And-Half Way

    | Livingston, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’ve been called to our store’s cafe to deal with a customer demanding a free drink.)

    Me: “Hi, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I got the wrong drink yesterday, so I told the barista that they need to give me a free drink to make up for it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry…you got the wrong drink yesterday?”

    Customer: “Yes! I come here every day to study and get the same drink! Yesterday, they gave me some disgusting sludge. I had to drink the whole thing! What are you going to do to make it right?!”

    Me: “You drank the whole thing, even though you thought it was disgusting and you were still in the store?”

    Customer: “That’s not the point! They gave me the wrong drink. You need to make it up to me.”

    Me: “Why didn’t you tell the barista that you were given the wrong drink yesterday? We would have happily gotten you the correct drink.”

    Customer: “I didn’t realize I had the wrong drink until I sat down. What was I supposed to do, get up and walk all the way over to the counter?!”

    Please Don’t Cowell Back

    | Mansfield, OH, USA | Bizarre, Top

    (I’m working for a call center on a forced third shift night. It is on my third day of no sleep.)

    Me: *still upbeat and cheery* “Thank you for calling [company]. My name is [name]. I’m sorry but our systems are updating, but I’d be more then happy to answer any general questions or concerns that you may have.”

    Caller: *vindictively* “So, I got Mr. Ryan Seacrest on the phone now?!”

    Me: “My apologies, sir, but my name is—”

    Caller: “So, I have to talk to some little pansy **** **** who sounds like Moviefone to give me what I want?!”

    Me: “Sir, if you—”

    Caller: “So, I have to play with this Moviefone Directory to get what I want?!”

    (The caller starts to randomly press buttons on the phone while continuing to cuss up a storm.)

    Caller: “Are you still there Ryan Seacrest?! Did you hang up on me?!”

    Me: “No, I did not sir, I was just waiting for you to finish before I—”

    Caller: “Oh, so Mr. Seacrest has the nerves to talk to me?!”

    Me: “Sir, if you want access to an account, I must apologize but with the update running here in the facility we are not able to pull up any account info. If—”

    Caller: “I don’t need anything from Ryan Seacrest or Moviefone!”

    Me: “Sir, this is [company], not Moviefone.”

    Caller: “So, Mr. Seacrest thinks he’s so smart!”

    Me: “Sir, do you have an account with [company]?”

    Caller: “Who?”

    Me: “Due to policy, I have been instructed that I am allowed to end this call. Thank you and have a nice day.”

    Caller: “I’m not done degrading you!”

    Me: *click*

    The Strong Arm Of The Law

    | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (Our store buys used video games to resell. It’s not uncommon for people to try to sell stolen merchandise, so we have a “bad trader” list. Two teens walk in, and one of them is on our list. I recognize them immediately.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [store name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, I want to trade some games in.”

    (Customer #1 hands me a stack of games, but it’s just discs…no cases.)

    Me: “Are you over 18 with a valid picture ID?”

    Customer #1: “No, but he is.”

    Customer #2: *hands me his ID*

    (I quickly look through the games. I take Customer #2′s ID and verify he is on our bad trader list.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t take these.”

    Customer #1: “Man, why not?!”

    Me: “We just don’t need these in stock right now.”

    Customer #1: *getting aggressive* “I trade in here all time! You gotta take my games. There ain’t nothin wrong with ‘em!”

    Me: *stalling* “We can’t take them. I can check the computer and tell you what they’re worth, but I can’t take them.”

    Customer #1: “Okay, yeah…check ‘em.”

    (While I’m checking the games, a really big, burly guy walks in.)

    Burly Guy: *to me* “Ma’am, don’t give them any money for those games! I saw them steal those games from [retailer] across the street and take them out out of their packaging before coming in here.”

    (At this point, Customer #1 starts edging towards the door. The burly guy reaches out and grabs him by his collar with one hand.)

    Burly Guy: *whips out his police badge* “If you take one more step, I WILL taze you!”

    (The two thieves were arrested right then and there!)


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