Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
    (2,563 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Top

    The Pool-cebo Effect

    | Livingston, NJ, USA | Top

    (I am a lifeguard at a pool. I am covering a coworker’s 12-4pm shift while he is visiting a friend in Boston. There is a senior aqua-exercise class for people with arthritis that is starting.)

    Swimmer #1: “Brrr, The water is so cold! Why is the water always so cold?”

    Swimmer #2: “Yes, this is ridiculous. We are going to freeze to death!” *to me* “You, there! Lifeguard! What is the water temperature today?”

    Me: “It is 84 degrees. Quite warm, actually. I went for a swim earlier.”

    Swimmer #1: “Bulls***! Where is the normal lifeguard, [coworker's name]? He always fixes the water temperature for us.”

    Me: “Really? How?”

    Swimmer #2: “He calls the front desk and has maintenance turn up the temperature. He’s such a nice boy. Such a lovely boy!”

    Me: “Okay, let me try that…

    (I walk over to the phone, but instead of calling the front desk, I just call my coworker’s cellphone.)

    Coworker: “Hello?”

    Me: “Yeah, hey, I’m doing your shift. There’s this arthritis class in here complaining about the water temperature. They say that you know how to fix it for them. What exactly do you do?”

    Coworker: “Oh, haha! I always tell them I’m going to call the front desk and have the temperature cranked up. Then, I walk into the office, pick up the phone and just mouth words to the dial tone for a few seconds. Then I go back and tell them that they’re working on it.”

    Me: “Okay, man, awesome.”

    (I hang up and walk back to the class.)

    Me: *to the swimmers* “Uh, yeah…they said they’ll get on it right away.”

    Swimmer #1: “I feel better already!”

    Slob Calling The Coffee Black

    | Rhode Island, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Spouses & Partners, Top

    (I am walking down one of our grocery store’s aisles when I overhear a couple talking.)

    Husband: “Crap, I dropped my coffee. Honey, find some paper towels.”

    Wife: “What?! No! Just leave it there. They have people walk around and clean up these things. It’s fine!”

    Husband: “Um, I—”

    Wife: “Just leave it! We have too much to do.”

    (The wife then turns and sees me. She doesn’t miss a beat.)

    Wife: “Someone just dropped this and left it. People are slobs. You should clean this up before someone gets hurt!”

    We’d Love To Cut Your Lawn, But—

    | Nebraska, USA | Top

    (I’m attempting to let a customer know via telephone that we want to treat their yard the next day.)

    Me: “Hi this is—”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Hi, this is—”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Th—”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: *quickly* “This is [lawn care company] calling.”

    Customer: “Oh, yes.”

    Me: “We’d like to put down an application tomorrow.”

    Customer: “Does it need to be mowed first?”

    Me: “No, it d—”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “No, it d—”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “N—”

    Customer: “You’re cutting out.”

    Me: “I—”

    Customer: “WHY DO YOU KEEP CUTTING OUT?!”

    Me: “Because you keep talking over me.”

    Customer: “I do what?”

    Me: “You keep t—”

    Customer: “I do no such thing!”

    It’s A Face Off

    | Virginia, USA | Bizarre, Top

    (I greet a customer cheerfully as she enters the shop. After browsing briefly, she gives me a suspicious look and then leaves the store. A few moments later, she returns with my boss.)

    Customer: “HER! That is the WORST example of customer service I have ever experienced in this town!”

    Boss: *to me* “Could you explain what happened a minute ago?”

    Me: “I…I don’t understand. I said, ‘Hi, how are you today?’ and she left pretty much after that.”

    Customer: “Look at you now, tearing up in front of the boss! Well, missy, let me tell you…” *to my boss* “LOOK! She’s scowling again, behind your back! That is EXACTLY what I’m talking about!”

    (I’m not sure what she’s referring to, but I have naturally fair blonde hair which is dyed a darker shade. I line my brows a shade to match, and they have a dramatic natural arch.)

    Boss: “Ma’am? I think that’s just her face. She isn’t trying to offend.”

    Customer: “You think you’re so smart, missy? Well, one day, someone is going to call you out on your games! THEY’LL WIPE THAT SMUG LOOK RIGHT OFF YOUR FACE!”

    Me: *I wipe my brow liner off and give her a blank look*

    Customer: *makes a choked noise, then quickly exits*

    Hair Unapparent

    | Saskatchewan, Canada | Food & Drink, Top

    (I am delivering pizzas to a hotel room in the early evening. I am a guy in my mid-20s with exceptionally long hair. The customer’s name on the bill is “Katie”. After knocking on the door, I hear someone approach it, but they don’t open the door. Instead, I sense them looking through the peephole, which is followed by some loud whispering.)

    Voice #1: “Guys, it’s a chick!”

    Voice #2: “Are you sure?”

    Voice #1: “Yes!”

    Voice #3: “Dude! Is she hot?”

    Voice #1: “I can’t tell. What do I do?”

    Voice #3: “Dude, take off your shirt!”

    (For the next few moments I hear a lot of shuffling noises. Finally, the door opens, and what do I see? Three scrawny, dorky-looking, and shirtless teenage boys, completely bewildered to see that I am not, in fact, a girl.)

    Me: “Sorry to disappoint you. Now, which one of you is Katie?”

    Related:
    Hair Apparent


    Page 147/345First...145146147148149...Last