(Our refund policy has a shorter timeframe than most people assume, and they usually don’t read their receipts. A customer walks in carrying a bag with one of our games; she’s on her cell phone.)

Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I just want to return this. I do not need to be spending $30 on a game right now.”

(She continues her phone conversation.)

Me: “Do you have your receipt with you?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s in the bag, honey.”

Me: “Okay, let me just check it.”

(I see that she’s a couple of days past the refund window.)

Me: “All right, I can get you a store credit for this.”

Customer: “What? You mean I can’t get my money back?”

Me: “It says right here, ‘Last day for refund is [date]’.”

(She is a little bit shocked, and continues talking on her cell phone.)

Customer: “They say I can’t return it… I can only get a store credit! I just drove all this way for nothing!”

(I prepare for her to start yelling at me.)

Customer: “Oh, I can’t believe this. I need to go. Just put it back in the bag. I need to take my bad attitude out of here!”

Me: “Um, sorry about that.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s okay; it’s not you, honey!”

(She grabs the bag and leaves quickly, still on her cell phone. I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “I can’t believe she didn’t yell at me! She just recognized that she was upset and left. This has never happened before!”

(I’m waiting in line. The customer in front of me has two unruly boys.)

Boy #1: *to his brother* “Is this for us?”

Boy #2: “I think so!”

(They proceed to stuff candy from the shelves into their pockets.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry; you need to pay for those.”

Boy #1: “Poop!”

Boy #2: “Don’t say that. It’s a dirty word.”

(They empty their pockets.)

Boy #1: “What if I just take one?”

Cashier: “You still have to pay for it.”

Boy #1: “Poop!”

(He pulls an orange from his mother’s shopping cart. He throws it at the cashier, who catches it without looking up.)

Boy #2: “How did you do that?!”

Cashier: “Oh, all the staff here are ninjas.”

(Panicked, the boys take a few more pieces of candy out of their pockets. As he starts ringing me up, I hear him muttering to himself.)

Cashier: “Don’t play baseball, they tell me; it’s a waste of time. Just get a job, they say! That’ll teach you what’s important.”

(I have been talking to a father and son for roughly an hour about many different headsets, so that they can weigh all the pros and cons and decide on the best pair for them.)

Father: “Okay, we’ll take two of the [headsets].”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we actually don’t have those in stock. We sold our last one today. I can check to see if somewhere nearby does if you’d like?”

Father: “Oh yes, absolutely!”

(I check in the system, and let him know the nearest store that has two of the headsets he wants.)

Father: “Thank you so much. Do I mention your name when I get there?”

Me: “No, sir, just ask for the headsets. They’ll pull them right out for you.”

Father: “But don’t you get credit somehow? You told me everything, and I’m not even buying from you.”

Me: “No, sir, we don’t. I really appreciate that you notice this, but I’m very happy to have directed you to a product you enjoy. It really makes my day just for you to want us to be credited with the sale.”

(The son pulls the father to the side and begins talking, then the two exit the store after waving and expressing their thanks. Around two hours later, I notice them come back in the store.)

Me: “Welcome back! Did something happen?”

Father: “Oh no. We got everything just fine. They had just what we wanted, but we felt so bad that you don’t get anything out of the deal, so we got this for you.”

(The son hands me a gift card.)

Me: “Wow, thank you! I can’t believe you did this. This is so nice!”

Son: “It’s not fair that you helped us, and we didn’t help you. I had extra allowance money.”

(I shake the father’s hand and give the son a big hug. I have the biggest smile on my face, and I praise them for being such wonderful people. It’s gestures like these that make me so happy to provide customer service where it’s needed.)

(I have a broken hand, and have my arm in a plaster.)

Me: “Hello this is [name] from IT support. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Hello, I have a problem.”

Me: “Okay, what is your concern?”

Customer: “As I said, I have a problem.”

Me: “Okay, I should be more specific. What is your problem about?”

Customer: “My computer doesn’t work as it should.”

Me: “What is it your computer is supposed to do? I mean what program do you want to start, or what you want to do with your computer?”

Customer: “Are you a moron? I told you my computer doesn’t work. I want you to fix it right now!”

Me: “I need more inf—”

Customer: “You’re just being stupid and lazy! You’re a bunch of f****** morons! I will get your a** fired, and I will get it done today!”

Me: “Please calm down and—”

Customer: “Don’t tell me what I have to do! I want to talk to your manager!”

(My manager sits in the same office and has heard everything.)

Manager: “Give her to me.”

(She takes the call and leaves the room. Some moments pass as my manager talks to her. She comes back crying. I get the customer back on my phone; I’m really mad, as my manager is a friendly person.)

Customer: “WILL YOU NOW HELP ME, MORON? I NEED MY COMPUTER TOD—”

Me: “Shut up.”

Customer: “What!”

Me: “I’ll give it a last try. If you yell at me, I’ll quit the call, and you will have to fix your computer by yourself, understand?”

Customer: “Erm… well yes, but—”

Me: “No ‘buts’. So, what program do you want to use?”

(From this point on, it’s easy. I get the information I need to take her case, and give it to a team of specialists. After the call my coworker gets my attention.)

Coworker: “What the h*** did you just do?”

Me:*looking down* “Oh, yeah. I broke my plaster.”

Coworker: “You just yelled at a customer, defended our manager, and risked your job, and the only thing you care for is your plaster?”

Me: “I thought it was a really nice plaster.”

(This makes my manager smile again, and all my other coworkers laugh. I still work for the company, but now all the angry and rude customers are sent directly to me.)

(Two customers have entered. Customer #1 points at me, and starts talking to his friend.)

Customer #1: “Jesus! Check out that Snooty-B**** on the till!”

Customer #2: “Dude, chill out! Have some respect!”

Customer #1: “She’s way too dumb for that! B**** needs to be put in her place!”

(The customer proceeds to harass me about my education, my appearance, and anything he can get to, before he eventually decides to order. I’ve been totally silent.)

Me: “Thank you for that. What can I get for you today?”

Customer #1: “Ha! I’ll get one of those large, mini fillets burgers; think you can manage that?”

Me: “A large mini fillet burger?”

Customer #1: “Um, duh?! I told you that you were thick as s***!”

Me: “A large mini fillet burger? So… a fillet burger, then?”

(Customer #1is speechless.)

Customer #2: “Yeah… you sure put her in her place.”