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    Sharing A Story About Not Sharing

    | CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (A coworker is offering macaroons at work. He had never had them before but had bought a whole lot of them, and we get to hear the story of why he had bought them.)

    Coworker: “There’s a cake shop near my house. I go there all the time, and there’s a regular customer I see there who is really mean. That day she said she was going to buy some macaroons and not share any with her grandkids. I was ahead of her in line, so when it was my turn, I said ‘I’d like to buy all your macaroons!.’”

    Good Customer Service Is Saving The Girl

    , | ON, Canada | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working the cash register at a fast food restaurant when a girl no older than 15 comes up to order.)

    Girl #1: “I’ll have a number three with a [Soda], please.”

    Me: “Sure. Will that be everything?”

    Girl #1: “Umm… no, actually. I think I was followed here. If you see some girls come in and bother me, can you ask them to leave?”

    Me: “I’ll see what I can do.”

    (The girl takes her food over to the only table where she can be easily seen by all of the front counter staff, and she takes out some homework. Less than five minutes later, three girls come in, go straight to Girl #1′s table, and start talking to her. In the 30 seconds it takes to ask my manager for permission to kick the group out, Girl #1 has started crying.)

    Me: *to the group* “You guys are harassing this girl. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Girl #2: “It’s okay. We know her.”

    Me: “No, it’s not okay. You can’t be harassing paying customers.”

    Girl #2: “We can buy something. We’ll be paying customers, too.”

    Me: “Too late. I won’t just stand back and watch while you harass this girl. If you don’t leave right now, security will be called and you’ll be banned from the property.”

    (As our restaurant was located in a mall parking lot, being banned from the property also meant being banned from the mall, so they left pretty quickly with no more argument. Since Girl #1 was still extremely upset, my manager let me give her a free milkshake and sit with her for a bit until she calmed down.)

    Me: “So, what was that all about? Do you know those girls?”

    Girl #1: “They go to school with me. I live in a group home. Ever since they found out, they’ve been following me around and making fun of me for it. I’ve been looking for a quiet place to do my homework for weeks. I can’t do it at the home; it’s too noisy, and I get no privacy there. And I’ve been to a few different coffee shops, and restaurants, and even the library, but they follow me everywhere, and no one has ever kicked them out, because they’re never loud or disruptive. This is the first place to help me.”

    (I let Girl #1 get back to her homework. After that, she came in a few times a week to do homework. I let the managers and other staff know of her situation, so there was always someone there for Girl #1 to talk to or someone to threaten the bullies with banishment from the mall if they ever came back, which they didn’t.)

    Demanding And Stupid In The Same Breath

    | MA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (We’re a bookstore, but we also sell some smaller toys from a popular company known for their hand-crafted products. I’m covering the register on a slow night. A customer I rang out a few minutes earlier who bought a $3 wooden kazoo comes storming back into the store. Another customer reaches the register at about the same time, but holds back when she sees how angry the other woman is.)

    Customer #1: “Why’d you tell my son he couldn’t return this kazoo? It’s defective!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. He just asked if he could get his money back, and I told him we couldn’t take it because it was opened already. It’s defective?”

    (I pick up the wooden kazoo that she’s slammed on the counter hold it near my mouth, and hum. It makes a kazoo noise.)

    Me: “Oh, maybe your son doesn’t know how it works. You have to hum into it, not blow like a whistle. Seems fine.”

    Customer #1: “What? I didn’t hear anything! It’s defective! I want my money back!”

    (I hold the kazoo near my lips again and hum louder. It makes a louder kazoo noise.)

    Me: “See? That’s what it’s supposed to do. You hum, and it makes that noise.”

    (I set it down in front of her, thinking the problem is solved.)

    Customer #1: “No way! I’m not taking that out of the store now! You’ve contaminated it with your breath! It has all your germs in it. Give me my money back!”

    Me: “Really?”

    (The woman tries to stare me down.)

    Me: “Ma’am, as I explained, you don’t blow into a kazoo. You hum. You can’t hum with your mouth open. None of my breath went into the kazoo.”

    (I demonstrate a humming noise without the kazoo, showing her my lips are firmly pressed closed.)

    Customer #1: “This is ridiculous! I’ve bought hundreds of things from here that were all defective, and I’ve never bothered to return them before. I just threw them away. Now, you won’t even take back this broken kazoo?”

    Me: “But, it’s not broken, remember? And I didn’t breathe in it, either. I’m not sure exactly what your complaint is at this point.”

    Customer #1: “That’s it! I want to talk to your store manager.”

    Me: “That would be me.”

    Customer #1: “Fine! Then I want to talk to a district manager! Is he here?”

    Me: “Yes. And he’s also me.”

    Customer #2: “This isn’t over. Not by a long shot! You haven’t heard the last of me!”

    (The woman snatches up her kazoo from the counter and runs out of the store. I turn to the other woman who’s been waiting patiently.)

    Me: “I’m sorry you had to be here for that uncomfortable situation.”

    Customer #2: “Oh, I don’t mind. That was pretty entertaining. I think you may have created a super-villain.”

    (Ten minutes later, one of my managers from another store location calls me, laughing.)

    Coworker: “Um, apparently, I’m supposed to fire you. Some crazy lady just called to tell me that you threw a kazoo at her?”

    A Real Humdinger Of A Solution

    | Bryan, OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Top

    (Even though I don’t work in this store anymore, I still have friends that do. I am there getting fabric with my daughter. The fabric area is in the middle of the store. We start to hear a bell ringing on the other side of the store. Every 30 seconds the bell rings, and goes on for a good five minutes.)

    Employee: *looking at me* “He doesn’t even bother to look up, just keeps hitting it!”

    Me: *calling across the store* “He is busy. He will be with you in a moment!”

    (The customer just looks at me, and dings the bell more. This time, he doesn’t stop, and just keeps hitting the bell for a solid two minutes. At this point, I’m angry, I have a headache, and the employee is too nice to do anything rude, so I walk across the store, and grab the bell right out from under the customer’s hand.)

    Me: *holding the bell* “I said he was busy.”

    Customer: “HEY! You took my DINGER!”

    Me: *walking away* “Yes. I am now in possession of your ‘dinger.’”

    (The employee is trying to hide his laughter as I come walking back with the bell in my hand. The customer is following me and yelling the whole time.)

    Customer: “I demand service! I’ve been here before and I want someone to help me!”

    Me: You will get help as soon as he is available to help you. He is busy with me right now.”

    Employee: “Sir, I’m the only person on this half of the store, everyone else is on break. If you can just wait a moment, when I’m done with her I will come help you!”

    Customer: *looking at me* “What is your name?!”

    Me: “[My Name]. I’m not sure why that matters to you.”

    Customer: “I’m talking to your manager!”

    Me: “I don’t work here.”

    Customer: “Then why did you take my dinger!”

    Me: “Because you pissed me off!”

    Customer: “I have the right to ding the dinger!”

    Me: “Yes, you do! But you abused that right! So I have now banned you. BANNED!”

    (He storms off. About 10 minutes later, he comes back with a manager.)

    Customer: “HER! See, her! She is the one that took my dinger!”

    Manager: “Sir, I do not know this woman. She doesn’t work here.”

    Customer: “She was rude to me!”

    Manager: “Sir, she has that right.”

    Customer: “I demand you fire her!”

    Manager: “Sir, seriously, I do not know who she is. She doesn’t work here!”

    (The customer stomps away. The manager looks at me and laughs as she starts talking.)

    Manager: “He told me he wanted to complain about a customer, and I didn’t believe a customer would complain about another customer! I’m so sorry! He is always so rude, but this is a new low even for him!”

    Me: “It’s all good. I did what I know everyone has always wanted to do, and it felt soooo right!”

    The Uniform Response

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Military, Top

    (I’m in a chain restaurant with my family when a group of four soldiers from the base come in. The group is very loud and rowdy, but no one wants to say anything because they’re soldiers. However, as they all order alcoholic drinks for ‘pre-gaming,’ they just get louder and rowdier. Finally, another customer at the table next to theirs has had enough.)

    Customer: “Excuse me. Can you four please quiet down? We’re all trying to enjoy our dinners.”

    Soldier #1: “With all due respect, shove it.”

    Soldier #2: “We’re willing to go out and die for your freedom and you can’t even let us have dinner?”

    Soldier #3: “We’re just trying to celebrate [Soldier #1]‘s promotion, lady. Chill.”

    Soldier #1: “Show some f****** respect.”

    (The customer takes a deep breath, stands up and turns around, revealing a missing arm.)

    Customer: “Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Major [Customer] and I’ve recently been transferred to the base here after spending a few months in Walter Reed. I lost my arm to an IED in Iraq. I want all of your names. I’ll be talking to your C.O. as soon as I leave here, and I have a feeling you won’t be celebrating that promotion long. Now please keep your voices down so all of these people can enjoy their dinners, and stop being a disgrace to the uniform.”

    (The whole restaurant applauded her.)

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