Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (1,947 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Time

    Time To Sign Up For Delivery By Delorean

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Time, Top

    (I’m answering the main line at a busy newspaper on a Saturday.)

    Me: “[Newspaper], this is [name].”

    Caller: “Yeah, it’s dark out.”

    Me: “…Okay?”

    Caller: “Yeah, it’s… what time is it?”

    Me: “It’s 10:12 p.m., sir.”

    Caller: “Yeah, it’s 10:12 p.m. and I still haven’t gotten my Sunday paper.”

    Me: “Sir, it’s 10:12 p.m. on Saturday. We’re still making the Sunday paper.”

    Caller: “But I haven’t gotten my Sunday paper!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I understand. That’s because it’s Saturday. Your Sunday paper will be delivered as usual in the morning.”

    Caller: “But it hasn’t arrived yet!”

    Me: “It’s still Saturday night. The Sunday edition will arrive Sunday morning.”

    Caller: “I haven’t gotten… oh, wait. It’s Saturday?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Caller: “Oh. Well, then… I’ve been working nights. I’m very confused about things now. I just knew it was dark.”

    Me: “Not a problem, sir.”

    Caller: “This never happened.”

    Me: “Deal.”

    FYI Your ETA Is TBA, So TTYL

    | AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

    (I am dealing with a pushy customer; he’s submitted a trouble ticket but called in less than two minutes asking for an update.)

    Me: “Sir, I am unable to give an ETA at this time. I am still looking into this issue.”

    Customer: “So, you cannot give me an ETA?”

    Me: “No, I am unable to give an ETA at this time.”

    Customer: “When can I get an ETA?”

    Me: “Sir, are you asking for an ETA on the ETA?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “I will let you know when there are any further updates…”

    Viva La Revelation

    | Florida, USA | Time

    (It’s the 4th of July, and I’m 9.5 hours into my 10-hour shift. For the umpteenth time today, a customer asks why I’m working on the 4th of July.)

    Me: “Welcome to [credit card] customer service. My name is [name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Why the h*** are you at work on Independence Day?! Are you even American?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I was born and raised in Florida. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “If you’re really an American, you wouldn’t be working today. You’d be celebrating our nation’s freedom!”

    Me: “You know, I’d love to be with the rest of my family enjoying the festivities and fireworks, not to mention the food, but I’m here working to support my family. And, I wouldn’t be working if YOU weren’t calling.”

    Customer: “Oh… I never thought of it that way.”

    Me: “No one ever does. How can I help you?”

    These Minutes Are Minutiae

    | Ontario, Canada | Time

    (I work in the pro shop at a golf course, and people often call to make tee times. Note that our tee times are spaced 8 minutes apart.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [golf course]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to make a tee time for 2:30, please.”

    Me: “Alright, I’ve got 2:32. Can I have your last name, please?”

    Customer: “2:32?! That’s WAY too late! Do you have anything earlier?”

    Me: “Sure, I have 2:24.”

    Customer: “2:24?! That’s MUCH too early. You guys need to have better times!”

    Leap Days Of Logic

    | Ontario, Canada | Time

    (The call center is in Canada, but we have many customers from the USA. This call comes in toward the end of the day on July 4th.)

    Caller: “So, did you have a good Fourth of July?”

    Me: “Well, I’m in Canada, so it’s just a regular day here, but it was not bad. We do have Canada Day, which is July 1st.”

    Caller: *confused* “So… then… is today July 3rd for you, or July 5th?”


    Page 4/512345