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    Category: Time

    Can’t Keep Account Of The Year

    | NB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Time

    (I work at the front desk of a hotel and I take a call.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to make a reservation for this Monday for three rooms.”

    Me: “Absolutely! Have you stayed with us before?”

    Customer: “Yes, I have, and I am set up with a direct billing account as well. It’s under [Company Name].”

    (I search but find nothing in the system for this company.)

    Me: “Hmm, I can’t seem to find you here. Have you stayed with us recently? As in, the last 12 months?”

    Customer: “Ugh, YES! Why does this happen every time I make a reservation with you all?! We were here a couple months ago and we went through this same ordeal and I’m not re-sending any information!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ve probably just spelled it wrong. [Company Name] is an acronym, yes? I’ll find it one way or another.”

    Customer: “You’d better!”

    (I look under every possible spelling of the name and find nothing. I attempt to find her most recent reservation, hoping that the company profile info is attached to it but find nothing at all. The entire time she is sighing heavily and telling me how angry she is with our company for never having her account on file.)

    Customer: “This is unacceptable! Every time I call you guys I have to re-send all the information! I keep telling your manager to keep my account open until further notice. Yet you people keep closing my account. This is unbelievable!”

    (I know for a fact this is not the case. Our system is set up to automatically delete any profile or account after 12 months of inactivity due to the large volume of company accounts we have being created all the time. Also, we can only access accounts created at our own hotel, not others within our chain. I try gently to explain all this but she insists none of this applies to her situation.)

    Customer: “Ugh, fine. Just make sure I have three rooms, all under [Customer] for Monday at the corporate rate. I should get them free though for all this trouble! Is your pool actually working this time?”

    Me: “Um… yes, of course. Everything here is always in good working order.”

    Customer: “Well, it wasn’t the last time! The pool was out of order the entire four days we were there. My employees asked me to make sure it was working this time. Also the time before that the restaurant was closed for renovations. You guys just don’t seem to be with it, EVER!”

    Me: “Are you absolutely certain that the last time you stayed here the pool was out of order?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “You never stayed here after that time, and the restaurant was definitely closed the time before that?”

    Customer: “Yes, why? Am I being compensated now?”

    Me: “Okay… Ma’am, I think I see the problem here and I know why you’ve had to reopen your account with us. Our pool was out of order two and a half years ago. We did some major renovations to prepare for the summer season. That is nearly 30 months ago which is much more than 12 so the system definitely would have deleted your AR account and company profile.”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t realize it was so long ago. Well, fine! But the time before that was just a couple months…”

    Me: “Also, we don’t have a restaurant. The only hotel in the our chain in this province that has a restaurant is in [Major City Four Hours Away]. I remember they had a kitchen fire around Halloween 2011 and had to close for a few weeks for repairs. We wouldn’t have been able to access your profile or account at your next visit. ”

    Customer: “Uh…”

    Me: “Hey, at least we know this wasn’t the result of our employees incompetence though, right? Would you like our fax number so you can forward us your information to set up an account and profile?”

    Customer: “Yes. Yes, but you should have been clearer! It felt like we were just there, and how should I know 12 months is less than two years?”

    Me: “There are 12 months in a year—”

    Customer: “YOU SHOULD HAVE A RESTAURANT!” *click*

    A Closing Time Is Half Open Kinda Caller, Part 2

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Time

    (For the company I work for, the call center is open 24/7.)

    Customer: “When do you guys close? I want to make sure I place my order before then.”

    Me: “You are in luck. We are open 24 hours.”

    Customer: “Which 24 hours?”

    Me: “Um, we don’t close. We are open all day and night.”

    Customer: “But which hours?”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t close.”

    (This goes on for several minutes.)

    Me: “Mr. [Customer]. We… do… not… close.”

    Customer: “Well, [My Name], why didn’t you say so?”

    Me: “…”

    A Closing Time Is Half Open Kinda Caller

    Not In A Good State To Come In

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Time

    (I am working the front desk, and the phone rings. It is about 2:45 in the afternoon.)

    Caller: “Hi. I was wondering if [Stylist] has any appointments today.”

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t have a stylist by that name here, but I could make you an appointment with someone else. The earliest we can fit you in is 3:15.”

    Caller: “Great, I’ll take it.”

    (I make the appointment. 3:15 comes, and the girl does not show up. At 3:30 I give her a call back.)

    Me: “Hi, [Caller]. Are you still planning to come in?”

    Caller: “Yeah, 3:15 right?”

    Me: “Yes, but it’s 3:35 now.”

    Caller: “No, it’s only 12:35.”

    Me: “This is [Salon] in Raleigh, North Carolina.”

    Caller: “Oh… I’m in Idaho.”

    A Rude Awakening

    | New York, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

    (I ask a client to call me the morning of the next day to discuss layouts for his website. He ends up calling at around 3:00 pm instead.)

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but I won’t be able to help you right now. Please ca—”

    Client: “Wait. I thought you said to call in the morning!”

    Me: “Yes, I did, but it’s 3:00 in the afternoon now. I’m really busy right now though so we’ll have to reschedule.”

    Client: “YOU SAID MORNING! I just woke up so it’s still MY morning! You need to assist me now!”

    Takes A Long Time To Close The Matter

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Time

    (I am a waitress. Around seven pm, a couple is seated at one of the two booths in my section. Since our very busy weekend ‘rush’ usually starts around five pm, I knew they would have waited almost an hour to have been seated.)

    Me: “What can I get you to drink?”

    Customer: “We will have a single glass of wine each, and entrees.”

    Me: “Absolutely. Is it a special occasion tonight?”

    Customer: “We are a married couple, and this is the first time in six months we’ve seen each other.”

    Me: “Oh, my!”

    (They were very low-demand, and after they finished the entrees, they lingered over a shared dessert and a pair of coffees. And lingered. And LINGERED.  Around 9:15 pm…)

    Customer: “Can we please have the check?”

    Me: *thinking ‘finally!’* “Absolutely!”

    (The average table turnaround time in our restaurant is 45 minutes. They have already been here over two hours, and since they are taking up one of our four existing smoking tables, my section is still steadily busy well past 9 pm. They don’t put down any form of payment, however. The check folder just lingers in the same spot at the end of their table for hours. By 11:30 pm there are no other customers in the place aside from a few at the central bar. The other closing waitress and I have already cleaned and restocked all the tables in the restaurant, and closed two of the four sections. Our manager sends the other waitress home, so it is me, the bartender, and two line cooks left.)

    Me: *making a show of closing down for the evening* “Here, let me refilled your decaf coffees, and just so you know we close at midnight.”

    (I try to stay nice, as they seem like a very nice couple, and they gave me the impression that they knew they’d taken up the table far longer than normal customers and would tip me accordingly. Normally, on a Saturday night, that table would’ve turned over at least half a dozen times or more, and be easily worth some $50 in tips. The folder still remains in the same place on their table. When midnight comes…)

    Customer: “Just to let you know that the restaurant is now closed.”

    (The last of the bar patrons is gone by 12:15 am. Chairs are on top of tables in every section except mine, because it ‘wasn’t our policy’ to do something as impolite as putting chairs on the tables if customers are still in a section. Our manager cruises by their table to remind them once more than we are closed. I vacuum the far sections of the restaurant. 12:45 am rolls around and they are still there, check still untouched. We have now been closed for 45 minutes, and they had now been there nearly six hours. I go back and talk to my manager.)

    Me: “All the other sections are closed and cleaned, the side stations are broken down and cleaned, and I just need this long-seated couple to pay so I can go home!”

    Manager: “Unfortunately, company policy means we can’t ask them to pay up, so go put the last of the chairs up, and finish your vacuuming, starting with their section. ”

    (The minute I click the vacuum on in the smoking section (nearly an hour after we’d closed!) the couple jump in their seats and then started complaining.)

    Customer: “How rude! Why haven’t you told us you were closing?! We demand to talk to the manager!”

    (I walk back to get our manager, who rolls his eyes at the list of complaints I deliver to him.)

    Manager: “Six months apart and the first thing they do is spend six hours here?”

    (He walked back out to the section with me and politely listened to the couple rant away, then took their check and knocked the price off of their dessert and wines (worth about $20 all together) before running their credit card. Eyes flashing, and still complaining about how rude the ending to the night had been and saying that they wouldn’t return, the couple left in a huff – finally! – just past 1 am, more than an hour after we had been closed. Needless to say, they only left me $4 on a check that had originally been around $50. My manager assured me that I wasn’t in any kind of trouble, and sent me home for the night once I’d finished vacuuming.)

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