Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Category: Time

    Very Time (Un)Conscious

    | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Time

    (I am the receptionist for a chiropractor’s office. A patient had just phoned in to book an appointment.)

    Me: “Good Morning! Dr. [Name]‘s office. How may I help you?”

    Patient: “Hi, yes, I’d like to book an appointment for this morning?”

    Me: “Sure thing. I have 10:00 am if that suits you?”

    Patient: “Eeeeeh, I need something earlier.”

    Me: “Well I also have 9:00 or 9:15.”

    Patient: “That’s too soon. I need to stop at the bank and stuff first.”

    Me: “Well… I might be able to get you in for 9:45.”

    Patient: “I guess I’ll just try that. I might be a little later though.”

    Me: “Well, I do still have that 10:00.”

    Patient: “No! That’s too late!”

    Me: “Okay…  We’ll see you then.”

    Not So Fast Food

    , | TX, USA | Food & Drink, Time

    (The district manager of the fast food chain is in the building making sure everything is up to standards, so the store manager is a bit tense. I am working on the drive-thru window, where we have a target time of 90 seconds from starting the order to delivering the food. A driver pulls up to the order box.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Uh… I’d like a… hmm, number… three? And… uh, no pickles on that.”

    Me: “All right, number three with no pickles. What would you like to drink?”

    Customer: “Umm, make it… a, uh… Sprite. No, wait. Uh, do you have… diet Sprite?”

    Me: *eyeing my timer and wishing he’d hurry up* “No, sorry. Is regular Sprite okay?”

    Customer: “No, change it to… a Coke.”

    Manager: “[My Name], timer’s ticking.”

    Me: “So I have a number three, no pickles, Coke to drink. Will that be all for you today?”

    Customer: “No, no, I’m not done. I also want… a number…” *trails off and starts talking to someone else in the car* “…a number nine.”

    Me: “And the drink with that?”

    Manager: “You’re usually good on the drive through, but if you don’t hurry this up you’ll be in trouble.”

    (I mouth ‘sorry!’ at him.)

    Customer: “A milkshake to drink.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, which flavor?”

    Customer: “Uh… chocolate? No, not chocolate… Umm… Strawberry. Yeah, strawberry.”

    Me: “Anything else?”

    Customer: “Uh…”

    Manager: “What is taking you so long?!”

    (He grabs a headset to listen in on the order.)

    Customer: “I want a… uh… kid’s meal. With… uh… hmm… chicken nuggets.”

    Me: “And the drink for that one, sir?”

    Customer: “Ummm…”

    Manager: *with his headset muted* “…Oh. Carry on.”

    Can’t Keep Account Of The Year

    | NB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Time

    (I work at the front desk of a hotel and I take a call.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to make a reservation for this Monday for three rooms.”

    Me: “Absolutely! Have you stayed with us before?”

    Customer: “Yes, I have, and I am set up with a direct billing account as well. It’s under [Company Name].”

    (I search but find nothing in the system for this company.)

    Me: “Hmm, I can’t seem to find you here. Have you stayed with us recently? As in, the last 12 months?”

    Customer: “Ugh, YES! Why does this happen every time I make a reservation with you all?! We were here a couple months ago and we went through this same ordeal and I’m not re-sending any information!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ve probably just spelled it wrong. [Company Name] is an acronym, yes? I’ll find it one way or another.”

    Customer: “You’d better!”

    (I look under every possible spelling of the name and find nothing. I attempt to find her most recent reservation, hoping that the company profile info is attached to it but find nothing at all. The entire time she is sighing heavily and telling me how angry she is with our company for never having her account on file.)

    Customer: “This is unacceptable! Every time I call you guys I have to re-send all the information! I keep telling your manager to keep my account open until further notice. Yet you people keep closing my account. This is unbelievable!”

    (I know for a fact this is not the case. Our system is set up to automatically delete any profile or account after 12 months of inactivity due to the large volume of company accounts we have being created all the time. Also, we can only access accounts created at our own hotel, not others within our chain. I try gently to explain all this but she insists none of this applies to her situation.)

    Customer: “Ugh, fine. Just make sure I have three rooms, all under [Customer] for Monday at the corporate rate. I should get them free though for all this trouble! Is your pool actually working this time?”

    Me: “Um… yes, of course. Everything here is always in good working order.”

    Customer: “Well, it wasn’t the last time! The pool was out of order the entire four days we were there. My employees asked me to make sure it was working this time. Also the time before that the restaurant was closed for renovations. You guys just don’t seem to be with it, EVER!”

    Me: “Are you absolutely certain that the last time you stayed here the pool was out of order?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “You never stayed here after that time, and the restaurant was definitely closed the time before that?”

    Customer: “Yes, why? Am I being compensated now?”

    Me: “Okay… Ma’am, I think I see the problem here and I know why you’ve had to reopen your account with us. Our pool was out of order two and a half years ago. We did some major renovations to prepare for the summer season. That is nearly 30 months ago which is much more than 12 so the system definitely would have deleted your AR account and company profile.”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t realize it was so long ago. Well, fine! But the time before that was just a couple months…”

    Me: “Also, we don’t have a restaurant. The only hotel in the our chain in this province that has a restaurant is in [Major City Four Hours Away]. I remember they had a kitchen fire around Halloween 2011 and had to close for a few weeks for repairs. We wouldn’t have been able to access your profile or account at your next visit. ”

    Customer: “Uh…”

    Me: “Hey, at least we know this wasn’t the result of our employees incompetence though, right? Would you like our fax number so you can forward us your information to set up an account and profile?”

    Customer: “Yes. Yes, but you should have been clearer! It felt like we were just there, and how should I know 12 months is less than two years?”

    Me: “There are 12 months in a year—”

    Customer: “YOU SHOULD HAVE A RESTAURANT!” *click*

    A Closing Time Is Half Open Kinda Caller, Part 2

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Time

    (For the company I work for, the call center is open 24/7.)

    Customer: “When do you guys close? I want to make sure I place my order before then.”

    Me: “You are in luck. We are open 24 hours.”

    Customer: “Which 24 hours?”

    Me: “Um, we don’t close. We are open all day and night.”

    Customer: “But which hours?”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t close.”

    (This goes on for several minutes.)

    Me: “Mr. [Customer]. We… do… not… close.”

    Customer: “Well, [My Name], why didn’t you say so?”

    Me: “…”

    Related:
    A Closing Time Is Half Open Kinda Caller

    Not In A Good State To Come In

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Time

    (I am working the front desk, and the phone rings. It is about 2:45 in the afternoon.)

    Caller: “Hi. I was wondering if [Stylist] has any appointments today.”

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t have a stylist by that name here, but I could make you an appointment with someone else. The earliest we can fit you in is 3:15.”

    Caller: “Great, I’ll take it.”

    (I make the appointment. 3:15 comes, and the girl does not show up. At 3:30 I give her a call back.)

    Me: “Hi, [Caller]. Are you still planning to come in?”

    Caller: “Yeah, 3:15 right?”

    Me: “Yes, but it’s 3:35 now.”

    Caller: “No, it’s only 12:35.”

    Me: “This is [Salon] in Raleigh, North Carolina.”

    Caller: “Oh… I’m in Idaho.”

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