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  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
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  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
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    Category: Themed Giveaway

    Disobedient Kids Can Leave You Pooped

    | ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Themed Giveaway

    (At our summer camp, we have a new shower house/bathroom building installed. With it came a septic system. The covers of the tanks are simply planks of wood. This causes some kids to walk over the short fence around the leech field, and bounce on the planks of wood. It is nearly lunch time, and I’m with some of my family and co-workers.)

    1st kid: “Woo!” *starts bouncing on plank*

    Mom: *shouting at 1st kid* “Hey! Get out of there!”

    (The wood slides around, and his leg falls into the tank.)

    1st kid: “Eww! What is that?”

    Mom: “You see that building behind you?”

    1st kid: “Yeah?”

    Mom: “That’s the bathrooms”

    1st kid: “Yuck! I just fell in poop?!?”

    Mom: “Yep.”

    1st kid: *running to clean himself off* “Eww!”

    (A short while later, a 2nd kid starts bouncing on plank.)

    Mom: *looks at 2nd kid* “Get off of that!”

    (As she turns her head around, we all hear a splash.)

    Mom: “Did he just…?”

    Younger brother: “Yep.”

    (With that, my 5’10 younger brother runs to the tanks, and pulls the kid out, with one hand.)

    2nd kid: *visibly shocked* “What was that?”

    Younger brother: *plainly* “That was poop. You need to take a shower”

    2nd kid: “Okay…” *starts heading to campsite”

    Mom: “No. You need to shower in your clothes, and then head to get new clothes, then shower again.”

    2nd kid: “Okay…”

    (After he gets in…)

    Older brother: “I bet he’s going to have a crappy day.”

    (We all look at each other, and laugh at the pun he accidentally made. We continue on with it.)

    1st coworker: “A really crappy day.”

    2nd coworker: “He’s going to be in deep doo-doo.”

    Me: “Yep. Waste deep.”

    Coworker: “No, he’s swimmin’ in da poo-l!”

    (I am signaled that I am needed elsewhere.)

    Me: “This is a crappy conversation; I’m leaving.”

    Has A (Com)Plain Agenda

    | New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Themed Giveaway

    (I work at a small art house cinema. I am standing at the podium ripping tickets when an older man approaches me and immediately begins yelling at me.)

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know what’s showing? There’s no information anywhere!”

    (I point to the big red electronic sign above the counter.)

    Me: “All of the movies showing tonight are displayed up there, sir.”

    (The customer looks up and points at an abbreviated title.)

    Customer: “That useless! What’s Lord of the Ri supposed to be? How am I supposed to know what that is!?!”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, we also have these printed schedules which include the full movie titles and all the times showing this week.”

    Customer: “Well, what good is that?! I want to know what the films are about and it doesn’t tell me anywhere! You seriously need to do something about this!”

    Me: “The schedules include a brief synopsis, and there are also more detailed descriptions displayed on that board over there.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s no good to me! What about the films that are coming soon?”

    Me: “There are posters all around the foyer here with that information. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    (The man launches in to a tirade about god knows what and I have work to do, so I take the opportunity to disappear through the crowd. To my dismay, I turn around a few seconds later to find him right behind me, and at this point he continues yelling.)

    Customer: “AND YOUR CARPET IS RUBBISH!”

    Themed Giveaway Roundup: Bad Behavior!

    | Not Always Right | Bad Behavior, Roundups, Themed Giveaway

    Themed Giveaway Roundup: Bad Behavior! Although our January Themed Giveaway on Bad Behavior is still ongoing, here are some fantastic submissions we’ve already received. Thanks to everyone who has submitted a story–keep ‘em coming!

    1. Earmark That Sound Advice (1,193 thumbs up)
    2. I Don’t Work Here Actually Worked Here (1,130 thumbs up)
    3. Makes You Scarlett With Anger (2,232 thumbs up)
    4. Playing Games With Your Feelings (1,447 thumbs up)
    5. At Lagerheads, Part 2 (1,114 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Acting Like Wario

    | New York, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Themed Giveaway

    Customer: “Hi do you guys have any Mario games?”

    Me: “Yes of course, what system would that be for?”

    Customer: “…What?”

    Me: “What game system would you like that Mario game for, sir? We have them for the Wii, DS, and 3DS at the moment. We also might have a few used Gamecube ones.”

    Customer: “Look, my son just wants a d*** Mario game. Can’t you just give me one?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t. There are literally dozens of different Mario titles for a bunch of different systems.”

    (The customer looks up at the consoles behind me.)

    Customer: “I think he has that… uh… Playstation there.”

    Me: “Well, in that case, I can’t sell you any Mario game because they don’t ma—”

    Customer: “God d*** it! I just want to buy my son a f***ing Mario game! Why is that so d*** hard?!”

    Me: “They don’t make them for Playstation.”

    Customer: “Don’t you know that the customer is always right you little s***?! I drive all this way to buy my son a Mario game, and you don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

    Me: “Unless we know what system he has, I can’t help you sir. It could be for the Wii, DS, 3DS, or the Gamecube.”

    Customer: “Oh, so now you’re refusing me service?! I’d like to speak to your supervisor you little punk!”

    (My manager has had enough at this point.)

    Manager: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “I’m not going anywhere! I know my rights!”

    Manager: “Okay then, I’m going to call security. I recommend you leave before they arrive.”

    Customer: “I thought nerds were supposed to be smart!” *leaves*

    Taking Account Of Your Actions

    | VA, USA | Awesome Workers, Holidays, Money, Themed Giveaway

    (I have been recently hospitalized and underwent emergency surgery, and my husband and I lost a lot of work because of it. I’m a little behind on bills but doing what I can. I come to payment arrangements with multiple creditors, including one I have been continuing to receive phone calls from.)

    Caller: “Hi, this is [caller] from [credit card company] looking for [me].”

    Me: “Hi, yeah, this is she. I think I know why you’re calling.”

    Caller: “Yes, ma’am. I see here that—”

    Me: “You know, I’ve been getting calls from just this company for almost two weeks. We have a payment arrangement. I’ve talked to just about every branch over there.”

    Caller: “Yes, I understand—”

    Me: “And you are still coming after me! I’m giving you what money I’ve got when I can! Don’t you even read the notes on the account before you call? Do you even know anything about this? Or are you just an air-headed vampire that doesn’t give a d*** whose blood you’re sucking out?”

    Caller: “Ma’am, I am sorry to bother you, but I am calling regarding a broken agreement.”

    Me: “Uh… pardon?”

    Caller: “Yes, ma’am. It appears we tried to follow through on your previous payment agreement, but your bank indicates that checking account was closed. Have you changed banks recently?”

    Me: “Um, yeah. I thought I changed everything over, though.”

    Caller: “That’s understandable. There’s a lot to think about when opening new accounts. So I’m just calling to see if you wanted to reset the payment arrangement with your new account.”

    Me: “Yes, absolutely!”

    (After several minutes of setting up the new checking account with the credit card, during which time the caller was amazingly polite, funny, and understanding, we got everything straight. I then asked to speak to her supervisor.)

    Supervisor: “Yes, ma’am! What can I do for you?”

    Me: “I spoke with [caller] and she was just amazing. I treated her like crap and she remained respectful and courteous. She was very professional and didn’t belittle me. She was awesome. In the end, I’m giving you money, and I’m happy about it. You have some great people over there. So please give her some recognition or something, because I was a b***, and I can’t say that I would’ve treated me as graciously as she did. Thumbs up, sir!”

    Supervisor: “Thanks for the feedback. Have a great day, ma’am!”

    (Suffice to say, that lesson was my Christmas present.)


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