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  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
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    A Moment Of Kindness Is Unquantifiable

    | Forest, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (Our point of sale has crashed, meaning we can not accept cash. My coworker is in the back trying to fix it. Meanwhile, I am in the front handling more customers than I’ve seen my entire shift, while having to turn away those who don’t have cash. A woman walks in and orders a hot chocolate.)

    Me: “What size can I get for you?”

    Woman: “Just a small.”

    Me: “One moment; I will figure out what that will cost.”

    (The woman looks around at the other impatient customers, reaches in her wallet and hands me a $10.)

    Woman: “It looks like you’ve had a rough night. You can figure it out whenever you get the chance and keep the rest as tip.”

    Me: “No, ma’am! Really! That’s too much! It will only take a second!”

    Woman: “It’s really okay. Please keep it.”

    (That’s more than I normally make in tips in a week. I never saw the woman again.)

    A Cleaner With A Dirty Attitude

    | MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (The store that I work at tunes up vacuum cleaners for customers. The policy is that we service the machines on a first come, first serve basis and any use of a non-commercial model voids the warranty. A customer comes in to pick up her vacuum.)

    Customer: “What the f*** took you people so long! And what the f*** makes you think I’m going to pay for this s***?! My machine is still under warranty! I’m not paying for s***! You motherf****ers can kiss my a** if you think I am!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please stop swearing at me. I haven’t cursed at you, and I’ll ask you to extend me the same courtesy.”

    Customer: “F*** you! I’m not swearing! And even if I was, I have a right! It took you f***ing forever to get me this f***ing machine, and I need it for my business!”

    Me: “Ma’am, in the first place all machines are serviced on a first come first serve basis and we actually got your machine back two days earlier than promised. In the second place, you’ve just admitted that you use it in your business and the warranty clearly states that use of that machine for commercial purposes voids the warranty. So, I’m sorry, but I’ll have to request that you pay for all service done before I release the machine to you.”

    Customer: “F*** you! I shouldn’t have to wait! I spend money here! Everyone knows that if you spend money you get to go first! And I’m not paying for s***! I clean nice houses with this machine! It’s not like I’m working down in some n**** neighborhood cleaning rent assistance places because those f***ing crack w****s don’t know how to pick up after themselves!”

    (She then stands in the middle of the store screaming the f-word at me repeatedly. When she finally pauses for breath, another customer who has been waiting her turn gets her attention.)

    Other Customer: “Excuse me. Did I hear you say you clean houses for a living?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I clean nice houses. Why?”

    Other Customer: “Do you have any business cards? I’ve been looking for a service and several of my friends have too.”

    (The first customer gives me a smug look and hands the other customer several cards, which she examines and tucks in her purse.)

    Other Customer: “Thank you. I just wanted to make sure no one I knew hired you by mistake. Now pay for your repairs before I call the police and tell them there’s a crazy person going berserk in the vacuum store.”

    (The first customer pays, calls me several more choice names and leaves. When I ring up the other customer who told her off, I somehow manage to ‘accidentally’ hit the warranty key on all her repairs, and send her home with a couple of the homemade cookies I had made for my coworkers.)

    February Themed Story Giveaway: Awesome Customers!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Awesome Customers, Themed Giveaway
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s February Themed Story Giveaway:
    Awesome Customers!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about awesome customers.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning January’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Bad Behavior. The winning submission: Taking Account Of Your Actions (2,058 thumbs up).

    PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, March 6!

    Loves Listening To The Sound Of His Master’s Voice

    | London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Musical Mayhem, Themed Giveaway

    (This particular music and entertainment retailer has just entered administration, meaning that all branches face closure and employees may lose their jobs. This has just been announced and there is a lot of press surrounding this. Stores remain open until the company either finds a buyer, or completely folds. Employees are in a state of limbo, waiting for news. I am a customer waiting in one of the smaller branches to pay when I overhear this exchange.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I need to find this CD and you don’t have it.”

    Cashier: “I can look it up on the system, tell you if any other stores have it. At the moment I can’t order you a copy as our ordering services has been frozen.”

    Customer: “I refuse to go anywhere else. I need this CD right now. It was released in 1987. How can you not have it in stock?”

    Cashier: “We may have it in stock. Please give me the name of the artist and I will have a look. Please bear in mind we are a small branch so only carry limited stock.”

    Customer: “That’s not good enough. You have everything. I need this CD.”

    Cashier: “Sir, please tell me the name of the CD and I’ll see what I can find.”

    Customer: “You are absolutely useless. Why can’t you just tell me if you have it? Why don’t you have it? No wonder this company is in crisis.”

    Cashier: “Sir, I can’t search if you don’t tell me what you are looking for. Please tell me the artist’s name.”

    Customer: *suddenly screaming* “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT THIS COMPANY IS GOING UNDER. YOU DESERVE TO LOSE YOUR JOB. YOU ARE A USELESS PIECE OF S***!”

    (The customer storms out. The cashier looks thoroughly upset. Thankfully, the next few people in the queue all approach the counter with a smile and a kind word. The regulars among us do not want to see this store close.)

    On Vacation From Reason

    | Windsor, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Themed Giveaway

    (I am a working at a salon though a Cooperative Education program at my high school, and am still a Senior. I answer the phone.)

    Me: “[Salon name], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to book an appointment today with [employee who is on vacation].”

    Me: “Sorry, [employee] is actually on vacation. I could book you with another stylist today or with [employee] when she returns.”

    Customer: “What do you mean she’s on vacation? I need a haircut!”

    Me: “Oh, well, yes she is on a cruise. But like I said before, I can book you with another stylist or—”

    Customer: “No, no, no! This is unacceptable! I want to book an appointment today with [employee]! How could she go on vacation and do this to me?”

    Me: “Well, she had vacation days to use up, so she is gone. Now, would you like to book an appointment for a later date?”

    Customer: “No! I want [employee] to cut my hair today! Gosh, what don’t you understand? Are you stupid?”

    (I try to explain several more times that the certain employee she is requesting has gone on vacation and would be back in a few weeks, but she simply won’t listen.)

    Customer: “Fine! This is just ridiculous! I guess I will book an appointment with another stylist but this is just silly! [Employee] should not be allowed to go on vacation!”


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