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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
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    Category: Themed Giveaway

    Do Not Acid Test God

    | East Lansing, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body, Themed Giveaway

    (I work at a 24-hour convenience store on a college campus I attend. A man in his twenties comes in at about 4AM. He’s the only one in the store except me, and one of my co-workers.)

    Me: “Hi there! How’re you today?”

    Customer: “Not bad.”

    (He walks over to one of the three aisles in the store before starting to strip down naked. I’m taken aback, and immediately start to call the police, while my coworker attempts to talk the man down.)

    Coworker: “Hey, dude, what are you doing? Put your clothes on!”

    Customer: “It’s a glorious day! A righteous day!”

    (The man, now fully nude, begins to touch his body to the disgust of both of us. He starts rubbing his front up against the ice-cold freezer door.)

    Me: “Sir, I’ve called the police. They’ll be here soon; please put your clothes on.”

    (The customer mumbles incoherently as he rests up against the door, touching himself very inappropriately. My coworker manages to talk him into getting into his underwear, as the cops arrive and arrest him.)

    Cop #1: “What’s your name, son?”

    Customer: “I AM GOD!”

    Cop #1: “Yeah, okay, son. Let’s go.”

    (The cops lead him out into the freezing air in only his underwear. Later in the day, they come back to explain why he did it.)

    Cop #1: “Apparently, he was on four hits of acid, and had just left a house party on campus!”

    (The customer came in the next day demanding that we return his iPhone that ‘we clearly stole’. We threw him out of the store.)

    Over The Edge Of Reason

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Religion, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I work at a chain coffee shop. The building is on the side of a hill; directly behind the shop is a sheer drop off. Every Sunday morning, a woman comes in with same conversation.)

    Woman: “Why don’t you have a drive through? The coffee shop in every other town has a drive through!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s no room around the back of the building for a drive through.”

    Woman: “This is ridiculous! If you weren’t the only place on the way to church to get coffee, I’d never stop here. The one day of the week I have to wear heels; I have to walk across the parking lot!”

    (One Sunday morning, there is a loud crash, and the building shakes. I run outside; the woman has rammed her car between the back of the building and the cliff side. The entire front of the car is hanging off of the edge. Her airbag has deployed and she seems dazed. She starts to open the door. I start yelling.)

    Me: “No! Climb out through the back!”

    (We eventually get her inside, and call the cops.)

    Woman: “I was trying to prove there’s enough room for them to have a drive through. I guess I was wrong!”

    (The company won for damages. A family whose home was hit by debris rolling down the hill sued her as well. Seemed like way more trouble in the end than just walking into a building for a latte!)

    Borderline Stupidity

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Canada, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Themed Giveaway

    (I am behind two boys in line. They pile a bunch of coolers on the counter, and try to pay with American money.)

    Cashier: “Could I see some ID, please?”

    (Boy #1 waves his hand like Obi-Wan.)

    Boy #1: “Oh, you don’t need to see our IDs.”

    Cashier: “Uh, actually, I do.”

    Boy #2: “It’s okay; we’re both 21!”

    Cashier: “Drinking age in Ontario is 19.”

    Boy #2: “Oh. Well, we’re both 19, then.”

    Cashier: “Do you even have identification?”

    Boy #1: “Fine! Here!”

    (He throws a card on the counter.)

    Cashier: “The government doesn’t consider this valid ID.”

    Boy #1: “OH COME ON!”

    Cashier: “…and this American state driver’s licence says you’re 16.”

    Boy #2: “F****** Canadians!”

    Reminder: Crimes & Punishment Themed Story Giveaway

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Criminal/Illegal, Themed Giveaway
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s March Themed Story Giveaway:
    Crimes & Punishments!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about customers doing something criminal or illegal—and, if they were caught, how they were punished.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, April 3!

    Shrewd With Shoes

    | Kansas City, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Themed Giveaway

    (My manager is helping a customer and her daughter find a pair of shoes for the girl.)

    Manager: “This style has gone to clearance, so this is the only size we have left.”

    Customer: “Okay. Let’s try those on, and see if they fit her.”

    (My manager leaves the customer’s to try the shoes on. A few minutes later they come through my line to check out. The shoes are not in their pile of clothing.)

    Me: “So, you decided against those shoes?”

    (The customer seems flustered.)

    Customer: “Yeah, no. They didn’t fit.”

    Manager: “Since you aren’t purchasing them, could I have those shoes? I have another customer wanting to try them on.”

    (The customer points vaguely to the shoe section. My manager cannot find the shoes, so acting on a hunch, she calls security. I finish the customer’s transaction and bag her items. Security arrives a minute later, and the customer flees the store with her bags. Several minutes later, my manager and a security guard approach my register, holding the pair of shoes the customer said she left on the floor.)

    Manager: “I am going to have to write you up.”

    Me: “What? What did I do?”

    Manager: “You didn’t notice that woman had a pair of high top sneakers stuffed into her jacket! She threw them onto the ground as she was running. But since you checked her ID against her credit card and got all her information, I think I can let it go this time!”

    (Thankfully she was joking, and I wasn’t written up. She later testified in court against the customer, getting the thief’s name from the credit card she had used when I rang her up.)


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