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    Category: Themed Giveaway

    Wanted A Refund, But Scratch That

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Themed Giveaway

    (A familiar looking lady approaches the front counter, but I can’t remember where I’ve seen her before. She speaks briefly to a colleague that is manning the front counter, who comes over to me.)

    Colleague: “This lady wants to return this DVD because she claims it doesn’t work. Take a look at the disc.”

    (I take a look at the disc, and it is severely scratched.)

    Me: “Well, that’s clearly why it’s not working. Did she say she bought it like that?”

    Colleague: “Yeah. She said she opened it and the disc was already like that.”

    (All of our DVDs come with security seals which are unlocked when purchased, so I know this isn’t the case. I look at the DVD title in our system, and notice we have not sold any in the last four weeks. I remember this same customer has tried to return DVDs in the same condition before.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. How are you today? Now, were you the customer that was after a refund for this DVD?”

    Customer: “Yes, it doesn’t work.”

    Me: “Okay. Now did you have a receipt for it? That way I can clear up a few things.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t have a receipt! I didn’t think I’d need one!”

    Me: “Okay, that’s fine. Now when did you purchase this DVD?”

    Customer: “Last week! Why is this even an issue?”

    Me: “Well, I have just checked our records. It shows that we haven’t sold a copy of this DVD is over a month. So, either you’re lying to me, or you’ve stolen it. In either case, you are definitely not getting a refund, and I suggest you leave this store immediately. I’ll be sure to ring all neighbouring stores, informing them that you’re attempting to get a refund on a product that you may not have even bought. Is that all for today?”

    (The customer snatches the DVD, and runs out of the store. I ring the store closest to us. Two hours later, I receive a phone call saying they caught her, and she is wanted for 12 other charges!)

    Handling Change Well

    | Cork, Ireland | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money, Themed Giveaway

    (A well-dressed, middle-aged man comes up to me with a friendly smile.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’m sorry to be a bother. Could I possibly get change from you?”

    Me: “Okay, come up to the till. I’ll help you out.”

    Customer: “Thank you so much.”

    (He hands me three €20 note.)

    Customer: “If I could get a €50 note and a €10 note out of this, it’d be really helpful.”

    (I take the three €20 notes, and hand him back the change.)

    Customer: “Thanks. Sorry, but could I ask one more favor? Could I just get two €1 coins for this?”

    (He hands me a €2 coin. I am feeling slightly suspicious now. I turn back to the till, take out the two one-euro coins, and hand them to the man. He doesn’t move.)

    Me: “Is there something else?”

    Customer: “You never gave me the €50 note.”

    Me: “I’m pretty sure I did.”

    Customer: “No, you definitely didn’t.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not giving you any more money. If you would like, you can come back during closing. If we’re €50 over the end of day report, I will be happy to rectify my mistake. However, I’m absolutely positive I did not make one.”

    Customer: “Are you, really? This is ridiculous. You did not give me the money!”

    Me: “I think I did.”

    Customer: “You couldn’t have made a mistake? How are you so sure?”

    Me: “Because the corner of the €50 note I gave you is sticking out of your sleeve.”

    (Turns out he had done it to all the other shops on the street, and successfully conned two.)

    Needs To Learn Copy-Right And Wrong

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (We get reports from various companies for copyright infringement. When we do, the customer gets a note on their account. We call them, letting them know they’ve been caught and request that they stop. I had called this customer a week before and they informed me that they had an unprotected wireless point that they would secure. They have another notification, so I call them back.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [company name] again. We spoke last week.”

    Customer: “I remember; we’ve replaced the router and added a password to our wifi as of last weekend. It should be fixed.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but we got another infringement notice yesterday.”

    Customer: “How is that possible?”

    Me: “I’m not sure; maybe you’re downloading something you don’t—”

    Customer: “We don’t download anything here!”

    Me: “I understand sir, but maybe we should check out the notice and see what is being downloaded?”

    Customer: “Okay, sure. But I’m telling you, I’m not downloading anything illegal.”

    Me: *pulls up the notice* “Umm… sir. It says here the content in question is rather… adult in nature.”

    Customer: “What?”

    (I read off the long, clearly niche pornographic title. I earn some looks from my co-workers.)

    Customer: “I am a good Christian father! I would never risk my marriage or my faith for pornography, especially not that perverted stuff. I can’t believe you’d accuse me of being a freak like that!”

    Me: “Sir, you said ‘father’. You wouldn’t by chance happen to have a son, would you?”

    Customer: “…yes.”

    Me: “He… wouldn’t by chance happen to have his own computer in his room, would he?”

    Customer: “Not anymore, thank you.”

    February Themed Giveaway Final Roundup: Awesome Customers!

    | Not Always Right | Awesome Customers, Roundups, Themed Giveaway

    Themed Giveaway Roundup: Awesome Customers! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

    1. Praise Cheeses (2,461 thumbs up)
    2. Holding The Line Against Bad Customers (2,809 thumbs up)
    3. Give The Beneficent The Benefit Of The Doubt (2,646 thumbs up)
    4. Please Keep All Cybernetics Inside The Ride At All Times (2,684 thumbs up)
    5. Hopefully, That’ll Be The End Of That Customer (2,553 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    March Themed Story Giveaway: Crimes & Punishments!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Criminal/Illegal, Themed Giveaway
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s March Themed Story Giveaway:
    Crimes & Punishments!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about customers doing something criminal or illegal—and, if they were caught, how they were punished.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning February Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Awesome Customers. The winning submission: Fresh Bread, Stale Attitude (1,756 thumbs up).

    PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, April 3!


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