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Client: “Can you make these messages go away?”
Me: “Which messages are those, sir?”
Client: “The ones I get when I run backups.”
Me: “Ah. What do they say?”
(He reads out the error messages.)
Me: “Uh, sir, how long have you been getting these errors for?”
Client: “Since your software was installed last year. Why?”
Me: “And did you report this earlier, sir?”
Client: “No, but they’re really starting to bug me. How do I make them go away?”
Me: “Sir, you do realise that ‘Backup Failed [error code], contact [supplier]‘ means you have no backups of your entire financial system?”
Client: “What the h*** does that matter? I’m sick of having to hit ENTER all the time! Just tell me how to get rid of these stupid messages!”
(My photo lab has two self-serve machines for customers to order prints of their photos. They either put in electronic media, such as a CD, or camera memory card, or they can scan a print into the computer.)
Customer: “What do I do first?”
Me: “Well, we will scan your pictures, and then tell it what you want.”
(The customer shows me an album of wedding photos that were taken approximately in the 1950s-60s.)
Me: “Unfortunately, these are still protected by [United States] federal copyright law. For anything less than 75 years old, we need permission from the person hired to take the pictures.”
Customer: “But how does the machine know they’re copyrighted?”
Me: “Uh… it doesn’t. That’s my job. We look at each order before printing, to make sure we have proper documentation so we don’t break the law.”
Customer: “Then how do you know they’re less than 75 years old?!”
Me: “They didn’t have cars like that in the 1930s!”
Needs To Learn Copy-Right And Wrong
(My parents have both just upgraded to smart phones for the first time in their lives. They seem to be doing well, despite their usual inability to use technology. Two days after getting the phone, my parents call me.)
Dad: “Hello, Jess! It’s Dad. There’s something wrong with my phone; I can’t hear incoming sound.”
Me: “Do you see the little switch on the side? Make sure it is not showing orange and then press the up button for the volume.”
Dad: “What? I can’t hear you!”
(I repeat my instructions. We try several things before my parents give up.)
Mom: “Hey, it’s not working. Should we go back to Best Buy?”
Me: “I’ll be out in a few days, if you can wait I’ll take a look at it.”
(I frantically look online for errors in software and hard wear being reported online, but little shows up. I’m seriously intrigued. My parents decide they’ll take it to the store and have it looked at. The next day my dad comes out to visit me.)
Dad: “So I went to the store yesterday. I guess the plastic screen protector was blocking the speaker.”
Me: “…you used it like that?”
Dad: “I thought it would be extra protection!”
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 5
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4
Weekly Roundup: Tech Support Classics, Part 4. This week, we feature part four in our ongoing series of Tech Support-themed roundups. Also checkout Parts 1, 2, and 3!
- Time To Call A Plumber (4,857 thumbs up)
- Four Words: Bow, Chicka, Bow and Bow (6,992 thumbs up)
- Needs To Chill Out (1,822 thumbs up)
- Save It On A Flesh Drive (1,938 thumbs up)
- PEBCAK, Episode VI (1,653 thumbs up)
PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!