(I’m on the phone with a customer who is having an Internet connection problem.)
Me: “Is the light on your modem blinking?”
Me: “So, it is solid then?”
Customer: “Yes. It’s solid, then it’s off, then it’s solid again, then it’s off again…”
(It’s a quiet day in the shop, so I’m busy prepping films to process. A middle-aged lady enters, so I put everything down and greet her.)
Customer: “Hello, my love; do you print photos from digital cameras?”
Me: “We do indeed! We just need your memory card or a USB cable if you have your camera with you.”
Customer: “Oh, good! I’ve brought this in; my pictures are on it.”
(She rummages around in her handbag, and finally places a small oblong of plastic on the counter.)
Me: “I’m ever so sorry, but we’re not going to be able to get your photos from that.”
Customer: “Oh, no! Why not?”
Me: “This is your battery.”
(A customer is at the fishing license kiosk, entering in his application. He is looking visibly frustrated.)
Customer: “Oh, come on!”
(I walk up to the customer.)
Me: “Alright, can I see you go through this?”
Customer: “I’ve already done it four times!”
Me: “I understand. Just one more time, please.”
(The customer types his full name in the space provided. I see the problem. Instead of ‘John L. Doe’ he writes ‘johnldoe’.)
Me: “Alright, you’re going to need to put spaces in there.”
(The customer puts the spaces in. We get to the address. He types in an equivalent of: ’123adr3$$@Clty’.)
Me: “…alright, why don’t I just handle this?”
(The customer is attempting to use the touch screen credit card machine, but the attached pen is not working.)
Me: “Sorry, sir, the pen is not working right now. It’s a touch screen, so just use the pad of your finger.”
Customer: “What? What the heck is a ‘patio finger’?”
Me: “Pad. Of. Your. Finger.”
Customer: “Oh! I thought it was some kind of young people slang.”
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