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  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
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  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
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    Category: Themed Giveaway

    August Themed Story Giveaway: Tourists & Travelers!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s August Themed Story Giveaway:
    Tourists & Travelers!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about tourist & traveler customers.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning July Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Wild & Unruly Customers. The winning submission: The Song Broke Loose And Then Vamoose And Now You Know The Plot (1987 thumbs up).

    PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, September 4!

    Rangers Triumph Again

    | NJ, USA | Bigotry, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m a girl looking around the movie section of a popular superstore. A male customer happens to be walking next to me through the aisle. I am wearing a Power Rangers/Pokémon crossover t-shirt. Traditionally, the red Power Ranger is the male team leader, while the pink is the ‘girly girl’ or stereotypical ‘chick’.)

    Customer: “Power Rangers, huh?”

    Me: “Huh? Oh, yeah.”

    Customer: “Why red, though?”

    Me: “Just liked the Charizard, I guess.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t have wanted Red though. You should’ve gotten Pink!”

    Me: “…why? Because I’m a girl?”

    Customer: “Yeah! No girl would ever be the Red Ranger!”

    Me: “Actually there have been at least two female Red Rangers. The A-Squad team in ‘SPD’ had a female Red, as did the ‘Samurai’ season.”

    Customer: “Those seasons didn’t exist!”

    Me: “…yes, they did.”

    Customer: “How would you know? You’re a girl!”

    Me: “Yes, as you’ve been telling me. Would you also like to comment on the ‘Mass Effect’ games I have in the car, or—” *I hold up my right hand* “—or perhaps on my Superman ring, too, since apparently I can’t be a female geek?”

    (The customer stares at me for a minute before mumbling an apology, and slinking away.)

    Yaoi Got To Be Kidding

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bigotry, Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Themed Giveaway

    (I work at a comic shop that has a high number of female employees, with most of my coworkers having a specialty in knowledge; i.e. comics, figurines, card games, etc. A pair of very obnoxious customers walks in, and heads straight to me at the back of the shop.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, I need to know if you have a [specific arc] of X-force?”

    Coworker #1: “Do you mean [arc] of the third series, or that old one done by Loeb?”

    Customer #2: “Hey b****! Butt out! I’m asking the only real nerd on your staff a question.”

    Me: “I’m not sure, however [coworker #1] organizes our older comic collection and probably knows if we have it or not.”

    Customer #1: “Quit trying to give the b**** fake nerd cred, yo. Everyone knows the only girls who work here are a bunch of Yaoi-fangirls.”

    (Customer #1 points towards our manga and anime section. Coworker #2 walks over due to all the commotion.)

    Coworker #2: “You do realize that [my name] is the only one of us who reads manga? H***, it’s why we hired him in the first place.”

    (Both customers look pretty embarrassed, and quietly ask Coworker #1 if we have the comic arc in question. They won’t even look at any of us as they pay for their purchase. After they leave, Coworker #1 comes up to me.)

    Coworker #1: “So, apparently you’re a Yaoi-fangirl?”

    The Text Signaler Concurrence

    | Ashford, Kent, UK | At The Checkout, Geeks Rule, Themed Giveaway

    (I am on the checkout, chatting away to a woman and her daughter whilst putting their shopping through. Suddenly, the woman gets a text message on her mobile.)

    Phone: “Bazinga! Bazinga!”

    Me: “Um, did your phone just ‘bazinga’?”

    Woman: “Oh, yes, I have a text. Sorry about that.”

    Daughter: “You’re the first to recognize the word.”

    Me: “Oh, we love The Big Bang Theory. My dad has that as his text alert too.”

    Daughter: “I have the theme as my ringtone!”

    Me: “So do both my parents!”

    (We all talk about the show for a few moments before parting ways. The next customer comes up, having overheard the last part of our chat.)

    Next Customer: “I’m glad they’ve gone. They were in my spot.”

    Me: “Another fan?”

    Next Customer: “Oh yes…”

    The Fully-Insured Walking Dead

    | Draper, UT, USA | Geeks Rule, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (My company sells music gear. We have a coverage plan that we are required to pitch to each customer on every item that qualifies. We are encouraged to get creative with our coverage pitches. I am talking to a woman about a keyboard.)

    Me: “So, we offer this extended plan which covers any kind of accidental damage, wear and tear, and shipping costs. The only things we don’t cover are theft, intentional abuse, and acts of God. So, set on fire, struck by lightning, floods, tornadoes, zombie attacks—”

    Customer: “What? You don’t cover zombies?!”

    Me: “We will cover if the zombie accidentally knocks your keyboard over, or if it bleeds all over it. But if you intentionally hit the zombie with your keyboard, you’re on your own. And if that’s your zombie-killing weapon, may God be with you.”

    Customer: “Do you watch The Walking Dead, by any chance?”

    Me: “Yes, I do! Although, I am actually terrified of zombies. The main reason I watch the show is because I am a huge Norman Reedus fan.”

    Customer:” Me, too! He’s my favorite character!”

    (What follows is a ten minute conversation about the show itself, how awesome Daryl Dixon is, and the pros and cons of various zombie weapons. The customer makes my day. She bought coverage, too!)


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