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  • Making A Mute Point
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  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
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    Category: Themed Giveaway

    Needs A Bridge To Reality

    | Jamaica | Geography, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to rent a car, but can I drive it to the United States?”

    Me: “Pardon? I don’t understand.”

    Customer: “Can I drive the car back to the United States?”

    Me: “How did you get to Jamaica?”

    Customer: “I flew here, why?”

    Me: “Didn’t you see the ocean underneath you from the airplane?”

    Customer: “No, I slept the whole way here. Wait. What ocean?”

    Suffering Some Confucian About Where He Is

    | Beijing, China | Extra Stupid, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    (My coworker is a tour guide for American groups in Beijing.)

    Tourist: “Is there a Chinatown here?”

    Coworker: “…I’m sorry?”

    Tourist: “Well, most major cities have a Chinatown. I just wanted to see if I could visit the one in this city.”

    Coworker: “You do know what country you’re in right?”

    Geeks Rule Themed Giveaway Roundup

    | Not Always Right | Geeks Rule, Roundups, Themed Giveaway

    Geeks Rule Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

    1. Link, Nyu, And Sephiroth Walk Into A Bar… (2,603 thumbs up)
    2. Time And Relative Dimensions In Cyberspace (1,568 thumbs up)
    3. Saving Souls And Money (2,718 thumbs up)
    4. Yaoi Got To Be Kidding (1,286 thumbs up)
    5. Space-Time Is Money (2,133 thumbs up)
    6. The Text Signaler Concurrence (1,557 thumbs up)
    7. The Song Broke Loose And Then Vamoose And Now You Know The Plot (2,067 thumbs up)
    8. Look Into Your Heart You Know It To Be True (1,884 thumbs up)
    9. Declawing The Villains (1,791 thumbs up)
    10. The Fully-Insured Walking Dead (1,512 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    No Manners In Line Is Out Of Line, Part 2

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    (I am nine years old, and my family has moved to a new area that has a corner store two blocks from my new house. Our town is a bit of a tourist trap, and late one afternoon, I am waiting in line to pay for the items mum needs. A tourist, dressed in costly, dressy clothes rushes through the doors and shoves in front of me.)

    Me: “Hey! The line ends back there. It’s rude to cut in!”

    Tourist: “Shut up!”

    (The tourist then addresses the cashier, a lady who knows me well enough to know that for a kid as shy as I am, trying to stand up for myself is a big thing.)

    Tourist: “I need two packs of [cigarette brand], and directions to [ritziest local hotel].”

    (The cashier looks at the tourist, silently, saying nothing at all for a long pause.)

    Tourist: “Are you deaf or stupid? I want two packs of [cigarette brand] and directions to [hotel]!”

    Cashier: “I was just giving you the chance to prove you have any manners at all. Looks like you don’t. This girl was next, and you pushed in. That’s rude.”

    Tourist: “I don’t have time for—”

    Cashier: “—and I don’t have time to deal with self-obsessed jerks. Get out.”

    Tourist: “No, listen! I want two packs of—”

    Cashier: “You aren’t getting anything. You have 30 seconds to get out of here before I call the cops.”

    Tourist: “Are you serious? You can’t be f****** serious! I want two packs of—”

    Cashier: “Get out!”

    (The cashier reaches behind her, and grabs the phone from the counter. She starts dialing.)

    Tourist: “Oh f*** it! I don’t want to buy anything in this stupid hick town anyway.”

    (The tourist flounces towards the door. I speak loudly before she gets to the door.)

    Me: “Isn’t it funny how we hicks actually know what good manners are for?”

    (The woman turns red and storms out of the store.)

    Related:
    No Manners In Line Is Out Of Line

    A Directionless Conversation, Part 2

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    (We are a tourist park, and have a café which is situated just outside so that people can use it without paying to go in. The café is right next door to the entrance; you have to walk past it to come in.)

    Customer: “Is there a café here?”

    Me: “Yes, there is. It’s just next door.”

    Customer: “Where?”

    Me: “Right next door.”

    Customer: *confused* “Next door?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s the building next to this one.”

    Customer: “So, we have to go out?”

    Me: “Yes. You go out of this building, and it’s in the only other one.”

    Customer: “So, it’s out of here and next door.?”

    Me: “Yes. Go out of here, and look right. You’ll see it.”

    (The customer walks out, looking confused.)

    Coworker: “What’s the betting she’ll get lost?”

    Related:
    A Directionless Conversation


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