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  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
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    Category: Themed Giveaway

    Not A Sound Argument

    | Exeter, England, UK | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m working on retail in the cinema. It’s quiet because all the films have started. A lady comes down from a screen.)

    Me: “Hello. Can I help?”

    Customer: “Yes. My daughter and I are watching a film in screen one, and the sound is AWFUL! You can hardly hear anything. It’s terrible! Can’t you get it fixed? I’ve had my hearing tested by professionals and I’ve got the hearing of a 14-year-old, so I know I’m not just imagining it. Get it fixed. It’s ruining our film. My daughter’s been looking forward to seeing it for ages, and it’s ruined!”

    (When she finally leaves, I radio the technician to check it out. Afterwards, he comes to the counter.)

    Technician: “You know the problem in screen one?”

    Me: “Yeah, what exactly was the problem?”

    Technician: “Nothing. There’s nothing wrong with it. I didn’t do anything to fix it, because it’s fine. She must be nuts.”

    (After the film, the customer approaches me at the counter again.)

    Customer: “Thank you SO much for getting that problem checked out. It was SO much better afterwards!”

    Calling About His C-Pee-Yew!

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I work for an IT company that provides technical support for IT equipment to customers.)

    Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help?”

    Customer: “My toilet is broken.”

    Me: “Sorry, can you repeat that? You called an IT support desk about a toilet?”

    Customer: “Yes, my toilet is blocked. Can you fix it remotely?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir. I am unable to remote on to your toilet to unblock it. You will need to call a plumber if it is that bad or use a plunger.”

    Customer: “You are supposed to be a support desk. You are not being helpful. Don’t you worry. I will call back and get another agent to help.” *click*

    (The customer did call back. The manager got on the other agent’s phone, and basically laughed down the phone at the customer, asking if he has turned the toilet off and on again, or reinstalled the cistern.)

    March Themed Story Giveaway: Man vs. Machine!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Themed Giveaway
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s March Themed Story Giveaway:
    Man vs. Machine!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about customers dealing with machines — whether they be gadgets, soda dispensers, or cars, if it’s funny and/or interesting, we’d love to hear about it.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning February’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about returnaholics. The winning submission: Refunder Blunder, Part 4 (721 thumbs up).

    PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, April 2!

    Some Returns Make You Have Kittens

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals, Themed Giveaway

    Lady: “We’re here to give back this cat we got from you about a year ago.”

    Me: “Okay. I’m sorry for that. Can I ask why are you returning him? Are you having any problems with him?”

    Lady: “No, we just decided we like kittens but we don’t really like cats. Could we exchange him for another kitten?”

    Me: “You do understand that every kitten will grow into a cat? What will you do when the next kitten grows up?”

    Lady: “Can’t I just exchange it again?”

    South Of The Border Of Unreason

    | Tijuana, Mexico | Crazy Requests, Themed Giveaway

    (I work at a company that works on providing phone-based tech support to other US-based telephone companies.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Provider]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

    Caller: “Oh, hello. My name is [Name]. I have a box from [Provider] that I want removed from my lawn. It’s been sitting there for two days.”

    Me: “Well, sir, you should have picked it up, since once the equipment arrives to your home it becomes your responsibility, and you must ship it back.”

    Caller: “You don’t understand. I want you to send somebody from [Provider] to pick up that box for me.”

    Me: “Sir, I can send you over someone to pick it up, but that’s going to cost you $75 USD.”

    Caller: “No. I want it picked up for free. I don’t want that box.”

    Me: “Then you must pick it up yourself and send it back to [Provider] via UPS or postal service, or drop it off with a sales representative at a [Provider] store.”

    Caller: “I don’t want to do it. I want you to pick it up for me and take it away. For free. Don’t you understand? Am I calling to India or something like that?”

    Me: “You are speaking to Tijuana, Mexico, and I do understand you, sir. However, we cannot send anyone to pick up the box, since it’s your responsibility to do so.”

    Caller: “You must speak Spanish. Bring someone over to the phone who can understand English.”

    Me: “I do understand you, sir. But that doesn’t change that you must still bring that box yourself or you will be charged for not returning the equipment.”

    Caller: “No, you are speaking Spanish. Bring me someone who can speak English.”

    Me: “Sir, we’re speaking in English.”

    Caller: “I doubt it.”

    Me: “Well, believe it. We’re speaking in English.”

    Caller: “I refuse to speak with you. Bring me someone who can speak English. Bring me your f****** supervisor.”

    (My supervisor in this moment was away on a meeting, and the only supervisor available that day was already taking a call.)

    Me: “Sir, my supervisor will tell you the same.”

    Caller: “Then f****** bring me your supervisor’s boss.”

    Me: “Even if I take it to God himself, he’ll still tell you that you must grab that box and ship it back via postal service. And this is your first warning, sir. If you keep talking that way, I will be forced to terminate this call.”

    Caller: “Bring me your f****** supervisor. I refuse to speak with you, f****** wetback.”

    (Our company has a policy of reserving the right to withdraw from this kind of calls if the customer comes up with these kinds of tantrums.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Provider tech support]. We apologize that your problem will go unresolved. Do not bother calling back. Have a nice day.” *click*

    (When I later check the records, I found out that this customer had already called four times for the same reason!)


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