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  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
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  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
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    Category: Themed Giveaway

    Counting On Each Other

    | Mt. Juliet, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Themed Giveaway

    (I am the customer at one register checking out. There is another customer at the other register, who is accompanied by her four-year-old daughter. The daughter is bouncing all over the place, looking at toys and candy while her mother’s purchases are being bagged.)

    Little Girl: “Mommy! Mommy! Can we get this for the new house?”

    (The little girl holds up a miniature basketball hoop and ball.)

    Mother: “No, sweetie. We don’t need it.”

    Little Girl: “Okay!”

    (The little girl continues rummaging through the nearby racks avidly. The cashier hands the mother her receipt.)

    Mother: “Come on, [name]; time to go!”

    (The little girl half turns to look at her mother, clearly still engrossed in the toys.)

    Little Girl: “I need a count of four.”

    Mother: “One… two…”

    Little Girl: “Okay! Coming!”

    Bambi: Unrated Version

    | Jacksonville, FL, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Pets & Animals, Themed Giveaway

    (I am babysitting my eight-year-old neighbor. They have just recently bought a guinea pig, and I am holding him.)

    Girl: “My friend Chloe has a pet bunny.”

    Me: “Oh really? What’s its name?”

    Girl: “Humper.”

    Me: “What?!”

    Girl: “Yeah, her bunny’s name is Humper!”

    (I am a bit confused, but then it dawns on me.)

    Me: “Um, I think you meant to say Thumper.”

    Girl: “Oh! Yeah, that’s what I meant. The bunny’s name is Thumper!”

    (By this point, I am cracking up.)

    Girl: “What’s so funny?”

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 7

    | Québec City, QC, Canada | Canada, Money, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a café in the old city in Québec, which is a very popular tourist destination. A couple approaches the counter.)

    Me: “Bonjour, hello.”

    Customer: “Hello! You take American money, right?”

    Me: “Ooh, I’m afraid not. Would you like to pay with a card? We take debit and credit.”

    Customer: “Why don’t you take American dollars?”

    Me: “Because this isn’t the United States.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about?!”

    Me: “Canada is a different country. May I ask where you’re visiting from?”

    Customer: “New Zealand.”

    Me: “Right, I thought I recognized the accent. Would you take it kindly if I came to your city and tried to use Australian dollars?”

    Customer: “NO!”

    Me: “Well, it’s the same deal here. Now would you like to pay with a card?”

    Customer: “CANADA IS PART OF THE UNITED STATES; YOU’RE ALL JUST IN DENIAL!”

    Related:
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 6
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 5
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
    Canada: America’s Hat

    Yukon Freeze It, Part 3

    | Niagara, ON, Canada | Canada, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m about 10 years old. I’m coming out of a store, when a very obvious tourist couple confronts me. They have a kayak strapped to the top of their truck, and some skidoos trailered to the back. It’s summer.)

    Tourist: “You! You can you help me!”

    Me: “Umm, okay. What’s wrong?”

    Tourist: “Where can I go ice fishing?”

    Me: “A lot of places, but it’s way too warm for that right now.”

    Tourist: “We’re in Canada, correct?”

    Me: “Yeah, but it’s summer time. Maybe if you were much further north you’d find ice.”

    Tourist: “I drove up from the south; this is north.”

    Me: “Umm, well you could take your kayak out to Lake Ontario to go regular fishing, but not ice fishing.”

    (The tourist’s wife, with selective hearing issues, chimes in.)

    Tourist’s Wife: “We can go ice fishing?!”

    Me: *gives up* “Sure, just go down Lake Street, and you’ll find the lake.”

    Tourist’s Wife: “Honey look, they name their streets after the places they go to! How cute!”

    (I watch them drive off in the opposite direction.)

    Related:
    Yukon Freeze It, Part 2
    Yukon Freeze It

    No Vocation For Location, Part 7

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Geography, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Thank you for calling [airline]; this is [my name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I want to book a flight from here to Los Angeles.”

    Me: “Okay, what city are you departing from?”

    Caller: “I want to go to Los Angeles.”

    Me: “From where?”

    Caller: “From here.”

    Me: “What city are you in?”

    Caller: “The same as you.”

    Me: “I’m in Baltimore, Maryland. Is that where you are?”

    Caller: “No. Can’t you tell from my phone number?”

    Me: “We have no way of knowing where you’re calling from. If you tell me what city you’d like to depart from, I can look up the flights for you.”

    Caller: “Well if you don’t know where I am, what good are you?” *click*

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 6
    No Vocation For Location, Part 5
    No Vocation For Location, Part 4


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