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  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
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    No Credit For Offering Help

    | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I am ringing up an older customer at a grocery store. When it is time to pay she swipes her debit card. She wants to use it as credit and in order to do this, you have to press the red button and hit credit when the machine asks for your pin. The customer keeps putting in her pin and then tells me she wants to do credit, so I have to cancel her card numerous times.)

    Me: “Ma’am, if you want to use your card as credit, press the red button when it asks for your pin then press credit.”

    (The customer ignores me and continues to type in her pin so I turn the machine around to help her.)

    Customer: “How about you stay back there and do what you’re supposed to do and let me do what I’m supposed to do! You obviously don’t know what you’re talking about!”

    (I sit there and watch her struggle with it for a couple more minutes.)

    Customer: “ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME OR WHAT?!”

    He’s Driving an ’05 Pontiac Paradox

    | Salisbury, MD, USA | Geeks Rule, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I receive a call from a customer who speaks in a completely serious, business-like tone.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [National Auto Parts Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. What are you working on today?”

    Customer: “I have a 2005 Pontiac Grand Prix, and I need a Flux Capacitor.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Did you say you need a Flux Capacitor?”

    Customer: “Yes. Do you have one?”

    Me: “No, the only one who has one of those would be ‘Doc Brown.’”

    Customer: “Where are they located?”

    Me: “Well, I’m not sure where he is at this point in time…”

    Their Service’s Days Are Numbered

    | CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (The restaurant I work at has a rewards program that is linked to the customer’s phone number. Occasionally, they receive text messages about various promotions.)

    Customer: “I haven’t received any text messages lately for the rewards program. I used to get them all the time.”

    Me: “That’s weird! I wonder what happened? Would you like us to double check that you’re still in the system?”

    Customer: “I guess I should give you my new number.”

    Me: “Sure, no problem.”

    Customer: “It’s just weird. I got the texts just fine on my old number, but then I got a new phone number and now I don’t get any.”

    Me: “Wait. You created a rewards program membership under your old phone number, you didn’t let us know you got a new phone number until now, and you’re upset because you can’t figure out why you weren’t receiving the promos?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: ” … I imagine updating your phone number will help.”

    The Manager Has To Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

    | West Yorkshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (We are having a meeting about how many errors we are making on our tills. When we explain why these are happening, our boss seems to think we are all idiots and decides to spend a few hours watching what we do, starting off by showing us how to use the till properly.)

    Customer #1: “Can I have a medium latte please?”

    (My manager makes the drink and processes it on the till without a problem. I’m the first to go on the till afterwards.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, can I get a medium skinny latte.”

    (I make the drink, process it on the till, and tell the customer the price which is also written on the menu board behind me.)

    Customer #2: “Sorry, I don’t have enough. Can you make me a plain latte?”

    (I make the second drink for the customer and process this on the till, but it goes down as an error which causes my manager to glare at me. I tell the customer the new price.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, I don’t have enough for that either. Can I have a tea?”

    (I make a third drink and re-process this on the till making another error. The customer finally pays and leaves.)

    Manager: “Yeah. I’ll just tell head office this town is full of idiots…”

    Will Try To Tag Themselves In Jail

    | TX, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Technology, Themed Giveaway, Top, Transportation

    (I stop a young, 20-something woman for using her cell while driving in an active school zone.)

    Me: “I stopped you, ma’am, for using your phone while driving in a school zone, which is against the law.”

    Driver: “I am not calling anyone or texting, so I am not using my phone. I was updating my Facebook status!”

    (After citing her, we both pull away from the curb. I then witness her using her cell AGAIN, so I stop her once more.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I have already explained and cited you for the very same reason I am pulling you over the second time. I do not want to have to arrest you, so please do not use your phone while driving again.”

    Driver: “One more time, officer, I am NOT calling or texting! I am uploading a picture of my citation to Pinterest!”


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