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    Category: Themed Giveaway

    Not Game For The Games

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (A lovely, little old lady is wandering around the game store where I work. She picks up a copy of ‘Empires’ and turns to me.)

    Customer: “What is this?”

    Me: “It is a turn based strategy game. You control an army, the opponent controls an army, and you take turns to—”

    Customer: “Yes, but what is it?”

    Me: “Well, it’s kind of like the game ‘Risk.’ There are some games that happen in ‘real time,’ where you and the opponent move at the same time, but this one—”

    Customer: “Yes, but is it a book, a CD, a board game?”

    Me: “It’s a computer game, madam. This is a computer game shop.”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    (She wanders off, picks up another game, and asks another sales associate.)

    Customer: “What is this?”

    They Should Screen Customers Like This

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (We have a touch screen tablet/kiosk in store that allows you to create a playlist for making custom CDs. One day, a man is shouting and punching the screen trying to get it to work. I come over to help him.)

    Customer: “This f****** thing is broken. It won’t accept any of the letters when I press them!”

    Me: “Please be gentle with the device. I’ll show you how easy it is to use.”

    (I show him, and after a few minutes he tries again, pressing the space between the letters instead of any actual letters.)

    Customer: “Your cheap-a** tablet is the reason I can’t figure it out!”

    (I just stand there letting him vent, all while finishing his list of songs. When it is done he wants to enter his name, and goes back to jamming the screen with his finger and cursing loudly.)

    Me: “I will finish it for you. The total will be [total].

    Customer: “That’s way too expensive! Never mind.”

    (The customer then just simply walks away. I turn around to see my coworkers laughing at me. Great days in retail!)

    Technology That Makes You Cry

    | Tacoma Area, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m working at the self-checkout area assisting customers when issues arise, such as weight discrepancies, inputting coupons, and just giving general help with the system. One customer has a lot of produce which requires a produce code to be input in order to weigh the items on the scale. One customer is growing increasingly frustrated with the produce look-up feature.)

    Customer: *frustrated* “I can’t find where the celery is.”

    Me: “You know…” *shows him feature* “you can actually look things up by name, spelling it out, instead of searching by category. It goes much faster that way. As you type in the letters for the name it’ll narrow the choices.”

    Customer: “Oh, ok. That is much faster.”

    (The customer continues for a few minutes with inputting his produce. It takes him a bit but he’s slowly catching on and learning the system. He stops, stumped, when he can’t find one.)

    Customer: “What is this?” *holds up an onion, looking very confused*

    Me: “… That would be an onion.”

    Customer: “No, I mean the code. I can’t find it.”

    Me: *laughing* “Oh! 4665.”

    (My coworker starts crying because she was laughing so hard at the onion comment and had to walk away for a minute to lose it. We still laugh about ‘that’s an onion’ to this day.)

    The Nineties Called…

    | RI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I work next to the electronics department. I am in the area when two customers walk up to an electronics associate.)

    Customer: “Do you sell any VHS?”

    Associate: “No, ma’am. We sell dvd players, though.”

    Customer: “What’s DVD?”

    (Associate proceeds to explain DVDs, still remaining very professional.)

    Customer: “But you don’t have any VHS?! I find that hard to believe! Couldn’t you check the back room in case you have one lying around?”

    Associate: “Ma’am, we haven’t sold VHS in years.”

    Customer: “So you can’t check?”

    Associate: “We don’t carry any VHS products anymore.”

    Customer: “UNBELIEVABLE! How do you not carry VHS?! You’re gonna lose customers like that.”

    (There is awkward silence. I’m a few feet away trying really hard not to laugh. But it’s not over yet.)

    Customer: “What about [Brand Name]s? Do you have portable cassette [Brand Name]s?”

    Associate: “We don’t have any cassette products anymore either.”

    (The customer is genuinely bewildered at this point. She eventually decides to purchase a dvd player.)

    Associate: “… And how will you be paying today?”

    (The customer hands over a credit card.)

    Associate: “Ma’am, this card is expired. In fact the card expired in the early 2000s.”

    Customer: “WHAT?! No wonder you guys are going out of business. Can’t even take my payment!”

    Needs A System That’s The Cat’s Meow

    | USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Pets & Animals, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I work for a company that sells audio equipment.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. May I help you with an order? ”

    Customer: “I need your system!”

    Me: “Well, we have a lot of great items in our product line, but you’ll have to be more specific. What system are you looking at today?”

    Customer: “The CD player! I had one but it broke and I need yours to play my special CDs!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t understand. What kind of special CDs do you want it to play?”

    Customer: “The ones I got for my cat. It’s special music to help felines relax.”

    Me: “So they’re regular CDs for your cat. Okay, I can help with that.”

    Customer: “I alternate back and forth, one CD of his music, then one of mine. It has to play both.”

    Me: “I can assure you that on the [Model Name] you’ll both be able to enjoy your favorite songs together.”

    Customer: “Oh, no. No, we can’t do that. He’s in kitty heaven now, but will it play his CDs?”


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