Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Making A Mute Point
    (2,388 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Themed Giveaway

    Doesn’t Give Two Hoots About Listening

    | AB, Canada | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Themed Giveaway, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (My city is having an annual festival in the downtown area. I have an animatronic owl that I like to bring out on such occasions. It sits on my shoulder and moves in a very life-like manner. Kids love it and are very respectful of it. Adults, on the other hand are not. A woman grabs me by the shoulder, spins me around, and yells…)

    Woman: “WHAT IS THAT?!”

    Me: “Whoa… um, please don’t touch me. It’s a puppet.”

    (I begin to walk away, but she grabs me again and tries to knock the owl off my shoulder.)

    Woman: “IT LOOKS SO REAL! WHY DO YOU HAVE AN OWL ON YOUR SHOULDER?! HAVING A PET OWL IS ILLEGAL!”

    Me: “Again, please don’t touch me, and DO NOT touch my puppet. And it IS a puppet, not real. It’s made of faux fur, polymer and cables.”

    (The woman starts yelling to a police officer, who is monitoring the event.)

    Woman: “THIS WOMAN HAS A PET OWL! ARREST HER! IT’S ILLEGAL!”

    (The officer comes over, and examines my owl puppet.)

    Officer: “So how does this thing work?”

    (I explain how I control it with a hidden cable, and how it’s made.)

    Woman: “SHE’S LYING! THAT’S A REAL BIRD!”

    Officer: “Ma’am, it’s obviously a puppet. A very neat and realistic puppet, but a puppet all the same. I’m going to have to ask you to stop yelling; you’re causing a disturbance.”

    Woman: “DON’T LET HER FOOL YOU! IT’S A REAL BIRD!”

    (I remove the owl from my shoulder, showing that it stays put with magnets and reveal the hidden cable.)

    Woman: “MURDERER! YOU MURDERED AN INNOCENT OWL! MURDERER!”

    Officer: “Okay, that’s it. You’re coming with me!”

    Maybe Crazy Is In Her Nature

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Themed Giveaway, Wild & Unruly

    (I have fairly long hair, which is dyed dark forest green. I am looking in the produce section, when someone grabs a handful of my hair and pulls on it as hard as they can. I cry out in pain and turn around to see an old woman glaring at me.)

    Me: “That hurt! Why would you do that?”

    Old Woman: “That didn’t hurt you, ya’ big baby! Anyone can see that hair ain’t real!”

    (She reaches for my hair again; I back up and almost knock over a small wire display rack.)

    Me: “Don’t touch me!”

    (By now we’ve attracted the attention of a nearby manager.)

    Manager: “Is there a problem here?”

    Old Woman: “Yes there is! This is a natural market! I come here to see natural things, and that hair ain’t natural! I want her out of here!”

    Manager: “I can’t do that, but I can call the police because I’m pretty sure pulling someone’s hair counts as assault.”

    (The old lady looks stunned, and hurries away. The manager makes sure I’m alright before she goes on her way.)

    Off-Track Solution

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Themed Giveaway, Transportation

    (I work as an attendant for the local transit train system. A family walks in and buys some tickets for next the train to Toronto. Afterwards, they go out to the platform as the train begins to arrive. Once it stops, the daughter runs off the platform and goes under the first car lying against the tracks. Everyone goes into a panic, so I run out and try talk to the girl.)

    Me: “Ma’am, get out from under there!”

    Customer: “No! We bought tickets, so we go to Toronto!”

    Me: “Yes… so are you trying to board?”

    Customer: “Yeah! This is the way in!”

    Me: “No, you go through the doors.”

    Customer: “No, I am not stupid! Those are just stickers for show! That’s just f****** stupid! God!”

    (I give up and leave. The conductor had to pry her out and show her the real way in. It ended up halting all train traffic for that specific line and delayed all trains for two hours.)

    Maybe He Is Under The Weather

    | USA | Bizarre, Themed Giveaway

    (I am volunteering at the info booth for a festival. A festival attendee approaches the table.)

    Me: “Hi! Can I help you?”

    Attendee: “Do you see those vapor trails?”

    (The attendee points to the sky, where a few contrails are visible.)

    Me: “Yeah?”

    Attendee: “That’s how the government controls the weather.”

    (The attendee walks away like nothing happened.)

    Me: “…oooookay then.”

    November Themed Story Giveaway: Bizarre Behavior!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Bizarre, Themed Giveaway
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s November Themed Story Giveaway:
    Bizarre Behavior!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about customers behaving bizarrely.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning October’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Liars & Scammers. The winning submission: Little Console-ation In This Situation (1,363 thumbs up).

    PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, December 4!


    Page 36/112First...3435363738...Last