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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
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    Category: Themed Giveaway

    This Store Takes Credit

    | Edgewater, CO, USA | Bizarre, Themed Giveaway

    Me: “Can I help you find something?”

    (The customer holds up a small light bulb.)

    Customer: “Yes, can you tell me what size this is?”

    Me: “Sure, just let me—”

    Customer: “Oh wait, here they are on the display! Now can you tell me where the rest of them are?”

    Me: “Well, they should be—”

    Customer: “Oh, they’re over here! Thank you so much!”

    Me: “You’re welcome, but I really don’t think I can take much credit for that!”

    Customer: “Sure you can! Couldn’t have found it without you! Thank you!”

    (The customer keeps shopping in that section on her own while I stock the shelves a few aisles over. Every time she finds something to put in her basket, she yells out ‘Thank you!’)

    Must Work In A Mail-Dominated Profession

    | Enid, OK, USA | Bizarre, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (A customer calls us after moving from here to another state. She wants a copy of her insurance verifications.)

    Me: “Sure thing, where do you want me to email them to?”

    Customer: “I don’t have an email account.”

    Me: “Really?”

    Customer: “I work for a living.”

    Maybe They Already Hit Their Head

    | CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Themed Giveaway

    (It’s roughly an hour before closing time, which is when things start to wind down. However, in pops one middle-aged and very confused-looking customer holding a helmet.)

    Me: “Howdy, ma’am! Do you need any help?”

    Customer: “Um… well I’m very confused. My sister—she lives in Hawaii, you know—she bought me this helmet, and, I don’t know why this is, but it’s too small.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that ma’am! Would you like to look at some of our helme—”

    Customer: “I just don’t understand! Why would my sister buy me a helmet that’s too small? It doesn’t make sense! It should fit me no matter what!”

    (This dialogue continues for several minutes, each time with me explaining something partially before the customer returns to going on about how she’s confused. Eventually I do manage to bring her over to the helmet displays.)

    Me: “The helmets start at $35, and we do have a model that’s the same as what your sister gave you, but it comes in diff—”

    Customer: “There’s so many! Why are there so many different helmets? This is very confusing to me!”

    (I take the time to quickly and simply explain differences—or so I think.)

    Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense. I’m so confused! Let me try on this one! Is this one going to fit me?”

    Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. It should fit. Why don’t you try it on?”

    (She does eventually try on the helmet, after much deliberation and stating that she’s confused. This continues for another half hour. Eventually, she’s decided on a helmet, and I think I”m finally out of this ordeal.)

    Me: “You made a good choice, ma’am! Now let me just go ahead get this back in the box and ring you up!”

    (The customer stares blankly into space for a few moments.)

    Customer: “I’m… I don’t know what to think. I’ll have to go home and think about this more. I’m very confused.” *leaves*

    (My coworker, who has witnessed the entire lengthy exchange, speaks up.)

    Coworker: “Dude, I’m so, so sorry.”

    Me: *pained, sheepish grin*

    Was Not Performed In Chest

    | Springfield, MO, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (I work in the lingerie department of a large department store. A man and his wife walk in. The wife goes to look at our clearance racks, while her husband comes up to me.)

    Man: “What bra size do you think I am?”

    (The man attempts to puff out his chest, which amounts to little as he is flat-chested. I’m kind of taken aback, but I go with it.)

    Me: “I’m not sure.”

    Man: “Well, you measure people, right? Measure me!”

    Me: “Sir, I don’t know if that’s—”

    Man: “Come on! Measure me!”

    (I grab my measuring tape and ask him to hold his arms up. He kind of dances around a bit, but I ignore him. I go to wrap the tape around his chest, which is a little awkward since I basically have to hug him.)

    Me: “You’re a 42 band size—”

    (Suddenly, the man leans in to kiss me. I jump way back.)

    Me: “Woah! Personal bubble!”

    (By now, his wife has returned. The man tries to explain.)

    Man: *to his wife* “It’s her fault! She’s giving me a look!”

    (The man and his wife leave soon after, but not before his wife comes and gives me a quick apology for her husband’s behavior!)

    Best Left To His Own Company

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Bizarre, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (A customer is trying to return a computer he has had for over six months.)

    Me: “Sorry, you can’t return it now, but we may be able to fix it. What’s wrong with it?”

    Customer: “It doesn’t get online anymore.”

    (I start working on the computer, and find the antivirus has expired and locked down the browser. This is a sneaky trick some antivirus software does to get you to renew.)

    Me: “I removed your expired AV. Your browser is working. You will need new AV.”

    Customer: “Awesome, that’s great. Hey do you have those cameras that go up high?”

    Me: “…Cameras that go up high?”

    Customer: “Yeah, like those.”

    (He points to the store’s security cameras.)

    Me: “Oh, security cameras? No, we don’t sell anything like that.”

    Customer: “But [Other Store] sells them.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, but we are a different company.”

    (As I answer him, the customer looks very strange; it’s as if he is no longer all there mentally. He begins muttering to himself.)

    Customer: “Different company? Diff-erent company… Different comp-any…”

    (The customer picks up his computer and walks off, all the while continuing to mutter and stare directly into the lights in the ceiling. After he leaves, my coworker speaks up.)

    Coworker: “…What just happened?”


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