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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
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    Category: Themed Giveaway

    A Messy Apology

    | Hattiesburg, MS, USA | Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (I work the afternoon shift at a mid-market hotel, so I make a lot of welcome calls to guests that have checked in just to make sure that they like the room.)

    Me: “Hey, this is [My Name] at the front desk. How are you?”

    Guest: “I’m good!”

    Me: “Wonderful. How do you like the room so far?”

    Guest: “Oh, the room’s great, except for the semen we found on the floor… Oh, wait, that’s mine!”

    Me: *stammering for the right words* “Um, ok, well, if you have any questions or if you need anything just let me know.”

    (The guest called back around five minutes later with an apology and an explanation. Apparently, he thought I was a friend of his by the same name that was due to check in to the hotel later that afternoon. Suffice it to say he was incredibly embarrassed.)

    Love Of Turquoise Makes Everyone Else Red

    | Australia | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Spouses & Partners, Themed Giveaway

    (I work in a fairly busy dive shop that sells a large range of snorkeling equipment as well. A couple comes in. She is about 6’0” tall, in a short and incredibly tight turquoise dress that doesn’t flatter her figure at all, wearing a turquoise necklace and very heavy turquoise make up. He is about 5’5″, bald, and very shy.)

    Woman: “Hi. I am looking for a snorkel set, but it HAS to be turquoise. It is my FAVOURITE colour!”

    Me: “Of course, not a problem. If you just turn around you’ll see our snorkel sets on the wall.”

    (I proceed to talk them through the different options, but she is very focused on the only turquoise one, which barely fits her.)

    Woman: “Ooooh, [Man], do you think I look pretty in this?! Of course you do. Should I kiss you now or in the car?”

    (At that, she throws herself at him, making them both fight for balance. His face gets deep red and he mumbles something incomprehensible, all the while she is basically licking his face. I decide to go back to the counter and give them some privacy.)

    Woman: *coming up to the counter* “Hooo-hooo! We are taking this set! It is so beautiful and my sexy stud here is buying it for me. Isn’t he CUTE!?”

    (I start ringing it up.)

    Woman: “Oh, is that a Scorpio necklace? Are you a Scorpio?”

    Me: “No, my boyfriend is. It is his necklace, but I like wearing it.”

    Woman: *pointing at the man* “Ooh, he is a Scorpio, too!” *leaning towards me* “Does your boyfriend have the same… STING in his, ahem, TAIL, as he does?” *giggles*

    (I am speechless, and the man looks like he wants to die.)

    Woman: *nudging the man* “Don’t deny it. You are such a wild one between the sheets!”

    (The man pays, grabs the set, sort of nods at me without making eye contact, and leaves.)

    Woman: “Don’t worry. I am gonna be grateful tonight!”

    (They leave.)

    Coworker: *staring at me wide eyed* “What the…?”

    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 7

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Spouses & Partners, Themed Giveaway

    (I am visiting my boyfriend while he is working temporarily at a gas station. Note: We look nothing alike. He has very dark features where as I am of Irish descent, and look it. An elderly gentleman walks in.)

    Customer: “Would you look at those eyes!” *gets very close to my face and grabs my head* “Those are the greenest eyes I have ever seen! Like emeralds!”

    Me: *very uncomfortable* “Um… thank you, sir.”

    Customer: “You are just gorgeous!”

    (He continues gushing about my eyes until he turns to my boyfriend.)

    Customer: “And you have that dark thick hair! You two are a good match. You will make the most beautiful babies!”

    Boyfriend: “Umm… okay. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “I’m serious! GORGEOUS babies will come out of you two.”

    (With both of us very uncomfortable, he finally stops and tells my boyfriend what he needs. Relieved, he gets him the items and we both hope he leaves soon. But, he continues to make conversation.)

    Customer: “So. You two are brother and sister? That’s nice.”

    (We were both speechless after that.)

    Related:
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 6
    From NotAlwaysRelated.com
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 5
    From NotAlwaysRomantic.com
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 4
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 3
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 2

    This Caller Has Been Barred

    | CO, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m the night auditor. It’s about 3 am and the phone rings.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I just wanted to check rates for these dates.”

    Me: “Absolutely. We have two queens or a king for these prices.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay. What is there to do in the area?”

    Me: “We’re popular for our hiking trails and outdoor activities, as well as our variety of small breweries—”

    Caller: “Are there any gay bars?”

    Me: “Not that I know of.”

    Caller: “What?! No gay bars?!”

    Me: “I’m afraid not.”

    Caller: “Well… where do you go?”

    Me: “To… the regular bars?”

    Caller: “Okay, because I got a couple of lesbians coming there for their honeymoon.”

    Me: “Well, I assure you there are plenty of bars to choose from. So, how many nights shall I book you for?”

    Caller: “Oh, I’ll have to talk to them.” *click*

    (He called and had the exact same conversation with me three more times in two weeks before getting my manager, who told him he needed to stop harassing me.)

    Should Have Released The Booking

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (The phone rings at about 4 am.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes. I need to place a reservation for Monday, checking out Wednesday.”

    Me: “Absolutely. Let me check the rates for those nights.”

    (We continue our conversation; he is booking a room normally enough until I ask for credit card information.)

    Me: “Okay, you’re all set. I just need a credit card to hold the room.”

    Caller: *sounding a little taken aback* “Oh, yes… of course… Let me get my card for you. Hold on.”

    (This is followed by two minutes of muffled sounds.)

    Caller: *clearly out of breath* “Okay, sorry, had to go upstairs. Hang on, let me grab it.”

    Me: “Umm. Okay.”

    (Another 45 seconds of muffled panting.)

    Caller: “All right. Got it.” *gives me the number* “So… have you ever just, you know, needed a release?”

    Me: *pretending to not hear the question* “I’m sorry.? What was that?”

    Caller: “Okay. Thanks for all your help!” *hangs up*

    (He never showed up or called to cancel and his credit card info was expired.)


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